Douchebags of the Week (Week Ending 1/1/2022 - Biden, Racists, Humbugs and Hystericals)

I know: I said I wouldn't be back until the New Year began, but COVID and sheer boredom have conspired to make a liar of me.  

Direct complaints to our new Galactic Hotline at 1-800-555-STFU.

Galactic Housekeeping (#16 - Year End Review, Merry @$#&ing Christmas)

It has been a good year here at Galactic Central..

Kovid Kop Kapers...

 "He was a tool of the boss, without brains or backbone..." -- Franz Kafka, "The Metamorphosis"

Enough is Enough...

No quote today. I'm pissed. Suffer.

Starving the Beast...

 "I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them..." -- Thomas Jefferson

When Morons Gotta Jog...

 "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself..." -- Leo Tolstoy

"Since there was nothing at all I was certain of, since I needed to be provided at every instant with a new confirmation of my existence, since nothing was in my very own, undoubted, sole possession, determined unequivocally only by me -- in sober truth a disinherited son -- naturally I became unsure even of the thing nearest to me, my own body..." - Franz Kafka, Letter to His Father

Douchebags of The Week (Week Ending 12/4/21 - Harris and Cuomo)

 "It is a scathing indictment of Modern America when one must consider the distinct possibility that our Vice President's finest oratory was most likely delivered in a seedy motel along a stretch of deserted interstate..." -- The Overlord

A Majority of One (Commit Suicide Now Edition)

 "You can no more use the words 'Joe Biden' and 'success' in the same sentence than one should associate 'turd' with 'lemon merengue pie'. Doing so neither enhances the virtues of one nor eliminates the deficiencies of the other by mere proximity..." -- The Overlord

Refreshed and Vindicated...

  "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you have was once among the things you only hoped for..." -- Epicurus

The Video Every Libtard Should Be Forced To Watch...

 "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light..." -- Plato

Food...Fabulous...Food?

 "I never eat sushi...I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious..." -- George Carlin

The "Scooby Doo" Moment...

 "...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids and their dog..." -- Every unmasked "Scooby-Doo" villain.

This Is What I'm Talking About...

 "In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act..." -- George Orwell

You All Suck (#50a -- The Weakest Squeal in Pain)

 "I'd like you to know there is a limit to the disgrace in the consciousness of one's own worthlessness and powerlessness beyond which a man cannot go, and after which he begins to feel a tremendous satisfaction in his own disgrace..." -- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, "The Idiot"

"Fyodor, allow me to introduce you to the Comments Section..." -- The Overlord

You All Suck (#50 -- Survival of The Weakest At The Expense of The Meekest)

 "While it lasts, the religion of worshiping oneself is best..." -- C.S. Lewis

The World You Live In IV

 "As a medical doctor, it is my duty to evaluate the situation with as much data as I can gather and as much expertise as I have to determine if the wish of the patient is medically justified..." -- Jack Kevorkian, M.D.

"For who could be taught the knowledge of experience from paper? Since paper has the property to produce lazy and sleepy people, who are haughty and learn to persuade themselves, and learn to fly without wings...Therefore, the most fundamental thing is to hasten to experience..." -- Paracelsus

The Noble Savage and The Pig Ignorant

 "Nothing that results in human progress is achieved with unanimous consent. Those that are enlightened before the others are condemned to pursue that light in spite of the others..." -- Christopher Columbus

The World You Live In III

 "The 'smart phone' exists because the people who use them are generally retarded..." -- The Overlord

The World You Live In II

 " I am NOT a racist...I hated Obama's White Half, too..." -- The Overlord

The World You Live In, Prologue

 "Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die..." -- Unknown

You All Suck (#49 -- No Apologies Here...)

 "Arrogance on the part of the meritorious is even more offensive to us than the arrogance of those without merit: for merit itself is offensive..." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

More COVID Capers...

"Stupid is as stupid does..." -- Forrest Gump's Momma

You All Suck (#48 - The Etiquette of the Unwashed)

 "If you find yourself obsessing over your social status, you probably don't have one to begin with..." -- The Overlord.

Requiesat In Pacem, Angelo Codevilla

 America lost a brilliant mind last evening when Angelo Codevilla was killed in a reported automobile accident. 

The Overlord was a most-devoted fan. He was a giant of intellect and will be sorely missed.

Fortunately, the Internet means he will live forever. Here is what I consider his magnum opus.

Customer Non-Service #4 (What You CAN'T Buy)

 Author's Note: Got a great big essay coming later this week. Today's screed is about the trials and tribulations of trying to buy things that don't exist, except as a photograph on a webpage.

Incommunicado...

 The overlords have had a slight issue with the recent remnants of hurricane lda. Specifically, power issues which have destroyed my computer rig. So,while awaiting a replacement, I shall not be writing for another week, or so. This is because the overlords computer needs require custom built systems. I am writing this on a borrowed tablet, and it sucks monkey ass.

Memory...

 "The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living..." -- Cicero

Watching Joe Watch His Watch...

 

"I can hardly forebear hurling things at him..." -- William Shakespeare

Fish Tank Cleaner All Over Again...

 " I became a journalist because I did not want to rely on newspapers for information..." -- Christopher Hitchens

Data Is Power...

 

From the comments on An Open Letter to Facebook:

"They haven't learned that the new, softer dictatorships do not make the same mistakes as the old ones when it comes to enforcing conformity and rigidity of thought and they have the technology to make that task much easier.

This isn't the fight to give up on. "

Lo and behold, Mr. Overlord -
this comment alone is worth to elaborate another post on!

An Open Letter To Facebook...

 "Apparently, you can post "Death to America" with impunity. You can call for the elimination of the White Race. You can easily express your belief that all republicans and conservatives should die. You can even write how you would like to see a Senator or President of the United States assassinated, and Facebook will do nothing about it. You can lie about a pandemic. You can use Facebook apps to overthrow a government, as the Taliban just did, and Facebook will maintain a constant state of inertia. Make a statement about Afghans suffering what you believe they deserve, however, and suddenly, there's 'Community Standards'" -- The Overlord

The Sisyphus of Kabul (Part Four)

 "The West is slowly being strangled by the East with the products of it's own culture..." -- The Overlord

The Sisyphus of Kabul (Part Three)

 "No dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other, poor dumb bastard die for his country...". -- George S. Patton, "War As I Knew It"

"A good plan, executed violently, is better than a perfect plan executed at some indefinite time in the future...".George S. Patton, "War As I knew It"

The Sisyphus of Kabul (Part Two)

 

"To each comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour..." -- Winston Churchill

The Sisyphus of Kabul (Part One)

 

"Yea and I beheld Sisyphus in strong torment, grasping a monstrous stone with both his hands. he was pressing thereat with hands and feet, and trying to roll the stone upward toward the brow of the hill. But oft as he was about to hurl it over the top, the weight would drive him back, so once again to the plain rolled the stone, the shameless thing. And he once more kept heaving and straining, and the sweat the while was pouring down his limbs, and the dust rose upwards from his head..." -- Homer, "The Odyssey", Book XI.

Galactic Housekeeping (#15 - The Results are In, More CRT, and Supermarkets Suck)

 No quote today...

Critical Race Dogsqueeze...

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point where he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself or others. And having no respect, he ceases to love..." -- Fyodor Dostoevsky, "The Brothers Karamazov"

Two Weeks to Flatten the Turd...

 "Hubris is one of the great renewable resources...." -- PJ O'Rourke

Galactic Housekeeping (#14 -- COVID Clarification, Farewell to Google)

 No quote today, as I have to correct something I've written.

TL:DR...

 

"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in..." -- Isaac Asimov

"To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists of holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture..." -- Thomas Paine, "The American Crisis"

Two Diseases...

 

"In light of all the recent talk of new mask mandates, new shutdowns, and more-draconian restrictions, we may have to draw two unmistakable conclusions: the first is that "the shot" does not work. The second is that the people who are supposed to be "in charge" don't know what to do except to double down on fucktard. It should now be unmistakably clear that they have never known what do...and apparently do not care. You could easily be forgiven for starting to believe that these extraordinary levels of incompetence and venality are not mere accidents of personalities or failures of systems -- they are, and have been, deliberate acts undertaken for specific purposes." -- The Overlord

Gratitude and Angst...

 "The Left always eats it's own. And The Far Left brings ketchup to the feast..." -- The Overlord

You're Having a Baby...Good For You?

 No quote today. My head hurt even thinking about this...

Speaking From Your Anus is not a Skill...

 "Three Italians, Four Opinions..." -- Unknown

A Majority of One (Tribalism is for Losers...)

 "I am NOT a racist....I hated Obama's White Half, too..." -- The Overlord

Customer Non-Service #3 (Microsoft Can Suck My Balls Edition)

"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning..." -- Bill Gates

You All Suck (#47 - Post-Independence Day Rant)

 Apologies for an extended absence. There has been much to do around the new Death Star in the last two weeks -- much of it to do with an annoying building superintendent who believes his lowly station grants him dictatorial powers and an HOA consisting mostly of brain-damaged monkeys with severe ADHD, a consequence of being Baby Boomers. I have fought the good fight, and won most of the battles, over petty regulations which exist in contradiction of the premise that "Hey, I pay to live here. Fuck off and mind your own business".

CRT, Cancer, Snowflakes and Horny Squirrels...

 

"Ours may be the first civilization destroyed, not by the power of our enemies, but by the ignorance of our teachers and the dangerous nonsense they are teaching our children. In an age of Artificial Intelligence, they are creating Artificial Stupidity..." -- Thomas Sowell

You All Suck (#46 - Scum Rises To The Top)

 "...in government, the scum rises to the top..." -- Friedrich Hayek

Galactic Housekeeping (#13 - Relocation, Enucleation and Discombobulation Edition)

The move to the new-and-improved Death Star has been completed.

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 6/5/2021 - YouTube Dating Advice Chick)

 Author's Note: Blogging has been slow recently due to the need to relocate to a new Death Star. We should be finished moving next week, so I can't promise anything will be written in the next 7-10 days. In addition, I'm a bit under the weather -- I've discovered a growth at the back of my throat, which at present has doctors fairly certain ISN'T cancer, but no guarantees. Hopefully, all the test results come back negative and they can get their collective heads out of their asses and fix it soon.

If I'm incommunicado after this, now you know why.

Defunding (Our Own) Terrorists...

 

"The object of terrorism is terrorism. The object of oppression is oppression. The object of torture is torture. The object of murder is murder. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" -- George Orwell, "1984"

Voices Inside My Head (#16 -- People Are Disgusting)

 "I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people..." -- Sir Isaac Newton

The Mask...

 "The Mask is the new gender-neutral burka..." -- The Overlord

The Sorry State of the NYC GOP...

 No names were used in order to protect the dumbfucks...

Joe Biden: The Interview...

 Imagine, if you will, your Overlord dudded out in his best suit; jackboots shined to mirror-like perfection, polished helmet glistening in the midday sun, long black cloak immaculately turned out. He arrives at the White House to speak to Darth Bidiot, the Sith Lord of Confusion...

Your Government At Work...

 

"The Government" is an amorphous blob of about 5 or 6 hundred faces that are the visible pustule that signifies the presence of the underlying disease, and literally millions of nameless, faceless, anonymous, nose-picking morons who only have a job because they managed to pass a watered-down civil service exam with a 62." -- The Overlord.

Authenticity?

The political left has a strange relationship with the word "Authenticity".

Generally speaking, when a Leftist refers to something as being "inauthentic" what they really mean is "This is the Real McCoy, however, admitting so makes me look stupid, so we'll just pretend otherwise".

You All Suck (# 45-- You First, Comrade...)

 "The problem with the unhinged leftist (is there any other kind?) is that he's always very keen to force others to do the things he wants them to do, but which he would never himself do in a million years...." -- The Overlord

Douchebag of the Week (State Senator Diane Savino (Dimwit-Staten Island))

 "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all..." -- Peter Drucker

Customer Non-Service #2...

 "Even your most-loyal customers always have a choice of where to take their business..." -- Marilyn Suttle, "Who's Your Gladys: How to Turn Even the Most Difficult Customer into Your Biggest Fan"

Four Observations and A Diagnosis...

 Been busy packing up the Death Star and searching out more worlds ripe for conquest. Apologies for the interruption in the supply of snark this past week and for having no quote today.

The Blasted Heath...

 No quote today because even the wisest men of antiquity could never have conceived of this sort of clusterfuck...

Explaining Censorship to A Blithering Idiot...

 "Democracy and Socialism have nothing in common but one word, Equality. But notice the difference: while Democracy seeks Equality in Liberty, Socialism seeks Equality in restraint and servitude..." -- Alexis de Tocqueville.

What Fresh Devilry Is This?

 

"The illiterate of the future will not be the person who cannot read. It will be the person who does not know how to learn." -- Alvin Toffler

But...But...Muh Narrative!

 Author's Note: Before I begin, I want to thank a bunch of folks for a very good week, traffic wise. The list may be short, but appears very distinguished, indeed...

A COVID Conversation I'd Like To Have...

Karen: Have you gotten your COVID shot yet?

Me: No, but I identify as a vaccinated person.

Karen: What does that mean?

Me: It means I am a vaccinated person trapped inside an unvaccinated body.

Karen: That doesn't make sense!

Me: Don't you deny my truth! That's oppression! This space is supposed to be free of vaccine-ism.

Karen: But that's crazy...There's no such thing as vaccine-ism.

Me: Yes there is. That attitude of yours is a manifestation of Vaccine Supremacy, in fact.

Karen: What do you mean?

Me: Please stop calling me "You". Please use my preferred pronoun.

Karen: What's that?

Me: I prefer to be called "Vaccinaro" or "Vaccinari". Unless I'm also identifying as female that day, in which case the acceptable pronouns are "Vaccinara" and "Vaccinaria". You are also required, because "safety" and "diversity", to suspend your version of objective reality to accept my subjective version. Otherwise, you're my enemy.

Karen: Those aren't even real words! How can I ignore reality?

Me: Where do you work?

Karen: Why do you want to know?

Me: Because you're not validating my lived experience and refusing to use my stated, preferred pronouns. This gives me the right to call your boss and have you fired, and if I can get three people on Twitter to agree with me that's the beginning of a lawsuit. I'll ruin you, you Science Denier!

Karen: What Science?

Me: The Science that says I can be a Vaccinaro trapped inside a Non-Vaccinaro body. We Vaccinaro are a hated and oppressed minority, having to share the world with you filthy, elitist, colonialist Vaccinated. If I get 10 more likes on my Instagram and enough Chinese grant money the medical profession will put a page in the DSM-V just for us and the government will have to give us all sorts of benefits you oppressive Vaccinated can't have because Equity.

Karen: That has nothing to do with Science. Or Vaccinations.

Me: You're dangerously close to me gathering the other Vaccinari together to have a peaceful protest with bricks and Molotovs on your front lawn, Karen.

Karen: I'll just call the cops.

Me: You can't...you had them defunded.

Karen: All I asked is if you're vaccinated! Do we really have to have this argument?

Me: The question was offensive.

Karen: How was it offensive?

Me: See? You don't even know! Unconscious bias, that is! I swear I...just...can't...even...

Karen: I didn't mean to offend you. All I did was ask a question.

Me: You have no right to question me! I'm an oppressed minority. What's next? You going to gun me down in the street?

Karen: I wouldn't do that! I hate guns.

Me: So, you're a Gun-o-phobe, too? I love guns, so if you hate them then you must have a mental disorder called a "phobia". Everyone knows that. Anything I like that you hate indicates you're insane and a hater. Don't yuck my yum, Fash.

Karen: Fash?

Me: Fascist.

Karen; I just wanted to know if it was safe to be around you...erm...I mean Vaccinaro...I don't want to get sick.

Me: Oh, so only people who haven't had the shot can spread COVID? We're all diseased, is that what you're saying? Your biases are showing! You're a bigot! You FASCIST!

Karen: I am NOT a Fascist! 

Me: Yes you are! You said only Vaccinari can give you COVID. You can catch it off a lamppost or a public toilet seat, you know.

Karen: No you can't!

Me: Yes you can! Dr. Fauci said so on MSNBC and he and they always tell the truth. Until either of them changes their minds without warning in which case whatever they say today that contradicts whatever they said yesterday is now the truth, and again, you are obliged to believe it because shut up.

Karen: I will not shut up. I have the right of Free Speech.

Me: I have unilaterally declared that your words are violence, Hate Speech, in fact, therefore,  I have also unilaterally decided you cannot have Free Speech. Only oppressed Vaccinari can have Free Speech, because of the Legacy of COVID.

Karen: You're out of your mind; do you know that?

Me: Now you know how it feels, Snowflake.

The Rise of Jim Slow...

 

"I have a dream that one day little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls..." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr "I Have a Dream" speech.

Obligatory St. Patrick's Day Shitpost...

 "Hibernia (Ireland) is not worth the trouble of conquest...for it contains naught but whores, drunkards and thieves, and Rome has enough of these already..." -- Unknown Roman Senator

%$&#% Scam Calls...

 No quote today: I'm too pissed.

Singling Out The Stupidz...

 "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups..." -- George Carlin

COVID Incompetence...

 "According to Mark 11:12-13, God's messengers were not the only  ones who were incompetent. 'He [Jesus] was hungry. And on seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs'.

Imagine Jesus, the divine, holy, wisest of the wise not knowing that figs were out of season. Now allegedly Jesus could have performed a miracle and made figs magically appear, but preferred sour grapes, instead: Then he said to the tree 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again' (Mark 11:14)." --- G.M. Jackson, "The Jesus Delusion"

You All Suck (#44 - Of Barking Dogs and Dog Whistles)

 Q; Why does your dog bark so much?

A: Because he can't speak English.

Cuomo Watch #2 ...

 "Hubris is one of the great renewable resources..." -- P.J. O'Rourke

"If one sins against the laws of proportion and gives something too big to something too small to carry it -- too big sails to too small a ship, too big meals to too small a body, too big powers to too small a soul -- the result is bound to be a complete upset. In an outburst of hubris the overfed body will rush into sickness, while the jack-in-office will rush into the unrighteousness that hubris always brings..." -- Plato

Great Moments in Dumbfuck: The Garbageman As Superhero...

 "Two tales; one of dedication, the other of defecation..." -- The Overlord

Praising the Fleas...

 "A dog does not praise it's fleas..." -- W.B. Yeats.

Questioning the Reality of Reality...

 "Reality exists in the human mind and nowhere else..." -- George Orwell, "1984"

Of Nests and Pests...

 Please forgive the lateness of this post, for the Overlord had 'puter problems -- both keyboard and monitor gave up the ghost, simultaneously -- and my attempts at bodging together older components, and the blatant lies told by UPS concerning the definition of "two-day delivery", kept me from my regularly-scheduled duties. Sometimes, even the Dark Side cannot overcome the power of What Brown Can Do For To You. In the meantime, I also have to deal with this)

Galactic Housekeeping (#12 - Purging Big Tech and Other Stuff...)

 "A Man does good business when he rids himself of a turd..." -- Edward I, King of England

Cuomo Watch - Day One (268 Days to Election Day)

 First installment in the plan to rid the planet of "Governor" Andrew Cuomo.

No More Cuomo...

 

"If you do not take an interest in the affairs of your government, then you are doomed to live under the rule of fools..." -- Plato

Waste for Show...

 "In a society dominated by the fact of commercial competition, money is necessarily the test of competition and wastefulness the sole criterion of power..." -- Upton Sinclair

Outrage, Politicians, and Immigrants...

 "It takes a special brand of sociopath to "work" in government..." -- The Overlord

Fixing 'Murica, Part Two: Salvage and Recovery

 "The people who scream the loudest and most-frequently about racism, are, in fact, the real racists they are warning you about..." -- The Overlord

Fixing 'Murica, Part One: The (Below-)Average American...

 

"But the chief penalty is to be governed by someone worse if a man will not himself hold office and rule ..." - Plato, "The Republic"

The Left is Just a Bunch of Jilted Booty Calls...

 On the subject of impeaching a President when he's already set to exit the scene in a week:

This all reminds me of the end of a very messy love affair.

From the male perspective: You have invested time, effort, energy and some emotion into a losing effort. It is now over, however, and there is not much productive left to do but to say your goodbyes and then go on with your life.

From the female perspective: simply limiting your losses and then moving on is not satisfying. This deprives you of the three elements that differentiate you from the male: the need for drama, the need to portray yourself to the outside world as his victim, and the need to not only get in the last word, but to ensure that your last words are of such a nature as to emotionally scar the bastard who is the source of your unhappiness.

Your own role in this fiasco, of course, goes unnoticed and unremarked upon.

This impeachment is the equivalent of saying "and by the way, you have a small dick and I faked every orgasm" before dramatically slamming the door in his face.

The fact that he's on the other side of the door laughing at you, and already planning to screw your sister, doesn't matter: you got that last act of passive-aggressive defiance out and now you can make yourself fat and even-more unattractive with tons of Haagen-Dasz, free of guilt. The Left cannot be happy with mere victory: it must crush and humiliate it's enemies, as well. We can now look forward to four years of Struggle Sessions and something akin to Mao's war on the Four Olds. Be careful what you ask for...

Notes from the 9th Circle of COVID Hell...

 "If everyone was jumping off a bridge, would you do that, too?" -- The Overlord's Mommy

You All Suck (#43 - You Dumb Fu*king Monkeys Edition)

 "If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?" -- Steven Wright

"Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks in a mirror, he sees a monkey." -- Malcolm de Chazal

Notes from the COVID Gulag...

"For, having begun their building of the Tower of Babel without us, they will end in anthropophagy. And it is then that the beast will come crawling to us and lick our feet, and spatter them with tears of blood from it's eyes. And we shall sit upon the beast and raise the cup. And on it will be written "Mystery!"." -- Fyodor Dostoyesvsky, "The Brothers Karamazov"