You All Suck (#61 -- Dating After 50 Edition)

 Q: What is the difference between a lady and a whore?
A:  A lady wipes her mouth with a napkin; a whore wipes hers on the backseat upholstery.

Match(less) Game...

 Author's Note: Apologies for not having posted much recently. There are a variety of reasons for such, prime among them having run afoul of Google's newest (and most-pernicious) algos that have been flagging posts retroactively as "in violation of community standards", a situation in which a) no one, even Google, can specify exactly what standard we're talking about, and b) why something that wasn't a violation five years ago suddenly became one now. In addition, work has been a bear -- I'm now working night shifts -- and massively chaotic. Post about that to follow. In the meantime, check this out.

P.S. I'm definitely going to stop doing this sometime soon, and switch back to podcasting, which I rather enjoyed. Stay tuned.

Great Moments in Dumbfuck (Your Children Are Retarded)

 "Magnifying small offenses, mind-reading by identifying subconscious thoughts even the offender is unaware of, and labeling others as aggressors are all integral to the microaggression program, but possibly harmful to mental health..."

"Microaggression complaints arise from a culture of victimhood in which individuals and groups display a high sensitivity to slight, have a tendency to handle conflicts through complaints to authorities and other third parties, and seek to cultivate an image of being victims who deserve assistance...".

 --- Bradley Campbell, "The Rise of Victimhood Culture: Microaggressions, Safe Spaces and The New Culture Wars"

When the Criminal Won't Co-operate With The Narrative...

 

"Which, to an American Journalist, is the greater tragedy: that a room full of schoolchildren should be murdered by a madman, or that the madman turns out to be a non-Caucasian?" -- The Overlord

Gotham City For Reals...

 

"It's obvious. Only a criminal would disguise himself as a licensed, bonded guard yet callously park in front of a fire hydrant..." -- Batman

"Petromasculinity"? This May Be Why You're Lonely...

 "Online dating is like choosing a proctologist by picking random names out of a hat..." -- The Overlord

Galactic Housekeeping (#16 - Year End Review, Merry @$#&ing Christmas)

It has been a good year here at Galactic Central..

You All Suck (#50a -- The Weakest Squeal in Pain)

 "I'd like you to know there is a limit to the disgrace in the consciousness of one's own worthlessness and powerlessness beyond which a man cannot go, and after which he begins to feel a tremendous satisfaction in his own disgrace..." -- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, "The Idiot"

"Fyodor, allow me to introduce you to the Comments Section..." -- The Overlord

TL:DR...

 

"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in..." -- Isaac Asimov

"To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists of holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture..." -- Thomas Paine, "The American Crisis"

Speaking From Your Anus is not a Skill...

 "Three Italians, Four Opinions..." -- Unknown

Customer Non-Service #2...

 "Even your most-loyal customers always have a choice of where to take their business..." -- Marilyn Suttle, "Who's Your Gladys: How to Turn Even the Most Difficult Customer into Your Biggest Fan"

Galactic Housekeeping (#12 - Purging Big Tech and Other Stuff...)

 "A Man does good business when he rids himself of a turd..." -- Edward I, King of England

An Amalgam: Censorship, the Mailman and MLK...

"It is now common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that'. As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more than a whine. 'I find that offensive'. It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that'. Well so fucking what." -- Stephen Fry

Minor Shitstorms of Stupid...

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of our society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs; we should test people for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." -- P.J. O'Rourke

Galactic Housekeeping #5

"Democracy; The Fools have a right to vote. Dictatorship; The Fools have a right to rule." -- Bertrand Russell

The Internet of Things And You...

"When we talk about an 'Internet of Things', it's not just putting RFID tags on some dumb things so that we smart people know where that dumb thing is. It's about embedding intelligence so that things become smart and do more than they were proposed to do" -- Nicholas Negroponte, Co-Founder of the MIT Media Lab.

Voices Inside My Head (#12 -- The Herd of Morons)

"Opinions are like Assholes: everyone has one, they all stink, and they should rarely be heard in public." -- The Overlord

Voices Inside My Head (#11 Ban Public Schools, Not Guns)

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity" --- Hanlon's Razor

You Don't Know Tech: Google Steps on the Weenie.

A wise man (whether it was Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain or the author of the Book of Proverbs is in dispute) once said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

We live in an age where the fool has countless opportunities to remove doubt, and furthermore, is actively encouraged to do so.

Your Overlord is pleased: the sooner idiots self-identify, the sooner we can start killing them off.

The Vagina: An Odyssey...

I'm glad I don't have one. Experience has taught me it's more trouble than it's worth.