Baseball Versus Jock Itch...

 "The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppance..." -- P.G. Wodehouse, "A Pelican at Blandings"

Canada, Ukraine and New Yorkistan...

 "This work was strictly voluntary, but any animal who absented himself from it would have his rations reduced by half..." -- George Orwell, "Animal Farm"

Food...Fabulous...Food?

 "I never eat sushi...I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious..." -- George Carlin

Voices Inside My Head (#16 -- People Are Disgusting)

 "I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people..." -- Sir Isaac Newton

Coronavirus Theater, Casino Edition...

“But under the beards--and this was K.'s real discovery­ --badges of various sizes and colors gleamed on their coat­ collars. They all wore those badges as far he could see. They were all colleagues, these ostensible parties of the right and left, and as he turned round suddently he saw the same badges on the coat collar of the Examining Magistrate, who was sitting quietly watching the scene with his hands on his knees. "So!" cried K. flinging his arms in the air, his sudden enlightenment had to break out, "every man jack of you is an official, I see, you are yourselves the corrupt agents of whom I have been speaking, you've all come rushing here to listen and nose out what you can about me, making a pretense of party divisions, and half of you applauded merely to lead me on, you wanted some practice in fooling an innocent man.” -- Franz Kafka, "The Trial"

Voices Inside My Head (#14 - "That's NOT food" Edition)

"There's a reason why one never sees an Irish restaurant listed in the Triple-A guidebook..." -- The Overlord