Friday, December 31, 2021

Douchebags of the Week (Week Ending 1/1/2022 - Biden, Racists, Humbugs and Hystericals)

I know: I said I wouldn't be back until the New Year began, but COVID and sheer boredom have conspired to make a liar of me.  

Direct complaints to our new Galactic Hotline at 1-800-555-STFU.

Well, it has been a busy two weeks in douchedom since we last handed out an award. We've seen some incredibly douchy things emerge from the sewer that is Humanity since, some of it hilarious, some of it troubling, but most of it simply a sign that Mankind is devolving faster than COVID-19 is evolving.

We begin with one of the funniest -- and saddest -- episodes I've seen regarding the (P)resident of the United States, one Joseph Robinette Biden.

This past Christmas Eve, in what was probably contrived to make Joe appear as a fun-loving, normal guy, who shows absolutely no signs of cognitive decline, incontinence or incompetence, The White House (a term that now refers to the seat of power in this country as little more than an entertainment and public relations outfit, like Disney with access to nuclear codes) The Bidens were engaged in some frivolous exercise having something to do with the annual NORAD exercise in "tracking Santa". This year (I don't know, and don't care if this has been done before: I can promise it probably won't be done again) the event was streamed and televised and the Bidens took phone calls from citizens.

One of whom took the opportunity to troll the (P)resident with a "Let's go Brandon!" as his phone time with the Big Guy was coming to an end.

Biden, in what was either a very sarcastic moment of lucidity (proving the drugs worked), or, more-likely, in a state of confusion, seemed to agree with the caller and repeated the stinger -- "Yeah, let's go Brandon".

Apparently, either Joe doesn't know exactly what this means, or he does, and just doesn't give a fuck.

Neither is a very good sign.

Of course, this event sent the media into a frenzy of puckered assholes and the poor man who did this has been doxxed beyond belief (they even went after his children).

A new mantra has arisen in the nation's newsrooms and among the committed Communists that "Let's Go Brandon!" and it adjunct, "Fuck Joe Biden!" are somehow rather extreme examples of homicidal tendencies among the Right, slurs that are so egregiously disgusting that the pearl clutchers can hardly believe them worthy of utterance by a human being, and bordering on a crime against humanity.

These are the same people who said worse about Donald and Melania Trump for four years, and still can't stop themselves, proving definitively that whatever else Donald Trump may be, he's still a real estate genius -- he's living in their heads, rent free, forever.

The "narrative" is that people who use such mild expressions of discontent such as LGB or FJB are, in essence, irredeemably sub-human. Vile, venal, substandard examples of humanity and living proof that Darwin was wrong. Those who say these things are all closet Nazis (say the inheritors of the Maoist Method) who are unworthy of engagement and only fit for destruction.

And this narrative has to be pushed because Joe Biden, who has made a career out of failure and graft, is the figurehead of a new generation of Marshal Petains, Leon DeGrelles, or Vidkun Quislings, or even Benedict Arnolds (Arnold at least had a legitimate gripe), who will sell their fellow citizens out in a heartbeat in order to acquire, retain and abuse power for no other reason than their own aggrandizement.

Joe is the spearhead of the Dictatorship of the Douchebags, and if the bubble of artificially-created superiority that presumably surrounds him is ever punctured, the entire enterprise of the upper echelon Left -- which generally consists of parasites and catamites -- will fall, leaving these pestilential idiots to have to earn a living in the Real World, fair and square, and to do so with the full knowledge that they have no real talent or utility.

They can defend against reason and logic; they can keep physical reality at bay with denial; the one thing they cannot withstand is mockery.

Mockery is to the Left what garlic and sunlight are to vampires.

Or what a job is to a welfare queen.

Relentless teasing, humorous poke-fun, the lampoon, the constant drumbeat of unforgiving harlequinade, is a weapon that pierces their armor every time. When exposed to it, they instantly revert, mentally, to their collective childhoods, when they were the skinny nerd who was bullied, mocked, and tortured by "the Cool Kids" on the playground, whose only comfort was the secret revenge fantasies they harbored against their tormentors. The left is a collective mass of self-esteem issues stemming from powerlessness and inability to give as good as they get. It is a mass of quivering jelly that can dish it out, but not take it, lacking in all the qualities of resiliency, fortitude or courage.

They can't take it like a Man.

But then again, half of them are confused by their own genitals, so that is hardly surprising.

So, Slow Joe can add yet one more piece of hardware to his trophy case of nonachievement this week.

I doubt it will be of any use to anyone except "Doctor" Jill, but then again, one gets the impression that her clam was stapled shut many decades ago and so it will be difficult, if not impossible, to put it to good use as a substitute for an incapacitated husband.

Even worse, the DOW award does not vibrate.

Next in our cavalcade of douchedom, we come to the primary living example of The Missing Link, This week's co-winner in the "Why Did Your Mother Carry Your Dumb Ass To Term?" category.

Nikole Hannah-Jones is supposedly "a scholar" who is responsible for a steaming mess referred to as "The 1619 Project" which is revisionist history for the mentally handicapped.

In her case, Jones' handicap is that she's a fucking idiot, who managed a MacArthur Grant in the same way that Barack Obama managed a Nobel Peace Prize, that is to say, on the Affirmative Action Plan. Had Notre Dame or UNC not been so Caucasian and in need of a little soul, Miss Jones might be spooning out sloppy joes in the cafeteria at either institution.

Institutions that 75 to 100 years ago wouldn't have even let her on campus...unless she was there to clean the toilets.

And she might even be underqualified for that.

For those of you who live under rocks, the "1619 Project" is an attempt to portray the story of American History as one long tale of unapologetic racism, oppression and disenfranchisement that was baked into the very bricks of the American Foundation. It is, of course, bullshit. It is more accurately to be described as a work of fiction in which the historical is merely a backdrop, the mere scenery in the tale of a country that is so supposedly fundamentally racist that in 2021 a black woman is able to produce the equivalent of a really bad movie script and have it considered "serious scholarship"...and to achieve riches and influence from it.

Wow, what a racist country...

"The 1619 Project" is a newer-and-improved version of "Roots", only without the compelling story and characters.

Nikole Hannah-Jones is to history what Anna Nicole Smith was to particle physics.

She is a practitioner of what I have called "Jim Slow".

"The 1619 Project" is one of the most-visible (and most-obvious) aspects of the cultural poison called "Critical Race Theory", which posits that African-Americans aren't degenerate drug dealers, welfare parasites, serial felons and mere breeders of illiterate children. There is something to this: no human being is completely worthless, and surely such a broad brush cannot paint all people. This is more perception than fact.

However, Miss Jones' contention is that African-Americans were made this way by a systemic, generational program of conscious bias and discrimination going all the way back to Sir Walter Raleigh and even Columbus, and that in order for America to atone for its "Original Sin" (mixing poorly-interpreted history and metaphysics? Always a bad idea) the country -- and by this, she means, strictly, Caucasians -- must accept that they are fundamentally bad people, originating in a bad culture, who are predisposed to do bad things to The Other.

The remedy, of course, is that which was promulgated by Marx: we do not wish to reform the system so that it it is fair and equitable, no, instead, we aim to destroy the system and replace it with one very much like it in which the roles of Oppressor and Oppressed are merely reversed.

Because, you know, that always works. That's how you get shoe factory Managers put in charge of Russian nuclear plants.

CRT and it's distant cousin of BLM are, in my mind, shining examples of what happens when a subsection of a society FINALLY recognizes that it is circling the bowl. In an era when brainpower is what counts, and the strong back is increasingly unnecessary to production, a segment of the population that has been hypnotized into servility in return for food stamps is finally coming to the realization that they're lost. There is little future for the African-American in an automated world, where he is made statistically (and electorally) insignificant by immigration, losing his political power, and mired in a swamp of violence, dysfunctional families, criminality and all the other muck.

All the years of people telling them what they wanted to hear -- you're owed! -- finally produced a captive voting bloc that, on a good day, might manage a bowel movement without government funding, while simultaneously depriving them of every self-motivation, or, to judge by New Orleans during Katrina, even the self-preservation instinct. The future is lost to them.

Some among the community recognize this, but the only answers to these problems they can envisage are extortion or violence. Revisionist history is necessary to justify both.

In any case, Miss Jones' infantile "scholarship" has been soundly, and repeatedly, criticized for the crap that it is by the actual historical community, all of whom can read and have studied actual history for years on end. If Miss Jones has any real brainpower, she'd realize she's been shown to be an idiot and gracefully slither away in silence and shame.

But no. Those who are granted Masters Degrees by America's finest Day Care Centers with Football teams Universities on the basis of checking all the right Diversity Boxes are incapable of shame or clear thinking. Having been lavishly -- and paternally -- backhandedly praised for being a dunderhead for so many years (why this is not racism is beyond me...oh right, it benefitted her!), people much like Hannah become convinced that the praise is actually deserved and justified, because to learn the truth would be too mentally and emotionally painful for them.

Nikole Hannah-Jones has degrees from two prestigious Universities because they needed to display their "Inclusion" and "Diversity". She is the academic version of a lawn jockey; decorative, but only to a certain perverse mind. her "work" proves she can't muster enough intellectual firepower to burn calories.

Miss Jones waded into the controversy that is Critical Race Theory being pushed in America's public schools (which are a government-controlled form of child abuse). There is a movement afoot to stop the spread of this disgusting and nonsensical pablum from infecting the curricula of America's schools. This movement is being led by parents -- who, thanks to COVID -- finally got the opportunity to have a look at what the schools were "teaching" their children.

And they found it repulsive.

The battle now has moved from mere activism to direct action: American parents are taking local school boards to task. The school boards, which consist largely of the same type of people as Miss Jones or the morons who surround the (P)resident -- that is to say, angry, vengeful objects of playground harassment who got theirs back by becoming unproductive, over-extractive leeches through government -- have fought back with the only weapons they have, which is to say condescension and use of force.

According to Miss Jones, the revisionist scholar whose livelihood depends on her mental diarrhea being pushed in schools by government diktat -- parents have no right to examine what their children are taught in schools, to criticize curriculum, to even imagine that they are, or can be, influential forces in their children's academic life.

They're not qualified, you see. For start, they're mostly white, and secondly, none of them was given a Masters Degree for simply being born black. These things make Miss Jones a fucking expert on everything historical and educational, you see, and what gets left unsaid is that if her books and course materials aren't subsidized by government (a form of reparations) then the country is racist and full of hatred and populated by hatred-y racists.

Thus, proving her point.

Emotional blackmail as a business model. Fantastic!

The only point Nikole Hannah-Jones has is the one on the top of her head. If you were to make a list of the Top 1,000 Most-Pointless Things, Nikole Hannah Jones would surely make your Top Three. She is simply yet another in a long line of "prominent" modern African-Americans who have reaped the benefits of reverse racism presented as a virtuous thing, and who make a very good living shitting all over the culture and country that has given them so much, like Don Lemon and Joy Reid, while returning little to nothing of actual value.

Miss Jones can now proudly display her DOW award, suitably scrubbed of whiteness, next to all her other make-believe achievements on the bathroom vanity.

After she cleans it.

Next on our list of Unbelievable Douches, are the members of another school board apparently made up of poo-flinging monkeys, who decreed during the Holiday Season that the song "Jingle Bells" is inherently racist, and so, should be purged from it's annual celebration of same.

We are reaching the point where South Park has become reality.

This is so obviously stupid and indicative of a diseased mindset that no commentary I present will ever give you the true picture of what a stupid and diseased formulation this is.

Somehow, somewhere, it all went off the tracks. Personally, I blame the 1960's. The acid-dropping hippies who "fought the Establishment" became the Establishment, themselves, and they brought their drug-addled, unbelievably spoiled and entitled attitudes with them, and they took a giant, collective dump all over the rest of us.

There is but one remedy for this kind of retard: a massive program of euthanasia. So, I hereby declare my support for any program that aims to defund Medicare, Social Security and withhold COVID treatment from anyone born before 1960. This Worstest Generation is a plague upon the land, and it may be impossible to undo the damage they've done within my lifetime. For damned sure, I'm done supporting them and keeping them alive solely for the purposes of stealing more of my money and polluting the lives of millions of schoolchildren with their panty-bunched, fucktarded nonsense.

And then we'll have, finally, Flattened The Curve.

Enough is enough.

So, here is your DOW award, Flower Children. If history is any guide, you'll have countless hours of fun figuring out how to either fuck it or make a bong out of it.

UPDATE: I have referred to a Hannah Nicole Jones. Her real name is Nikole Hannah-Jones. I have corrected this mistake.


Anonymous said...

Dear Overlord... no such thing as "reverse" racism

Matthew Noto said...

Dear Anonymous,

Of course there is. It's called "Affirmative Action".

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

It's fascinating to me that faced with the realities of the situation as noted above, the black community would realize they have been had and some sort of awakening would occur. Instead you get Candance Owen writing a book and 95% of the group choosing to remain in an eloi-like state. What should be a feared revolutionary bloc by the left has been nuetered by free stuff. Is it really that easy?

Matthew Noto said...


History says "yes".

Rome had Bread and Circuses. Marx essentially built a religion out of envy and ignorance. Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia had millions bribed or terrorized into compliance. The New Deal and Great Society made slaves of the democratic party out of several generations.

Human nature, being what it is, seeks the easiest solution to all problems. In this case, the easiest solution to most perceived problems involves "free" stuff (in the sense that the recipient does not have to do anything productive or proactive in order to receive the result), and "doing it to someone else".

The Black Community is sort of like Julia at the end of "1984": they have betrayed everything human in the quest to avoid the pain of (immediate) reality. That bill eventually comes due.

The process is being repeated, as the numbers and political clout of African-Americans are reduced by immigration and other factors, with the new imports from the other waste places of the planet.

I don't remember where I read this (it was many years ago) but according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the African-American will cease to be a "statistically significant" portion of the American population sometime around 2050. Hovering somewhere around the numbers and percentages currently held by, say, ethnic Koreans (i.e. single digits), IIRC.

It's (almost) too late to change the cultural aspects necessary for success, and it is now clear that no one wants to.