Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Cuomo Watch - Day One (268 Days to Election Day)

 First installment in the plan to rid the planet of "Governor" Andrew Cuomo.

The first step is an informed electorate. So, here's what "Governor" Cuomo has been up to the last few days. Apologies for being two days late, but it has been snowing to beat the band here and The Overlord managed to sprain a forearm and destroy his back shoveling 18" of white shit that Governor Fuckwit's allies say is both proof of global warming, or alternately a thing of the past because of global warming, depending on which lie they decide they need to believe today.

The Sub-Human who has claimed victory in the fight against The Chinese Wheeze must be mortified that today nine of his top health "experts" all resigned.

Because he won't listen to them.

Money quote:

“When I say ‘experts’ in air quotes, it sounds like I’m saying I don’t really trust the experts,” Gov. Andrew Cuomo said of pandemic policies. “Because I don’t.”

Because he's listening to these people. Who pay to get his attention.

And yet, when it suited his purposes, we were all to obey the air-quote experts with slavish devotion when it came to mask mandates, quarantine rules, vaccination plans, and everything COVID-19-related.

Because Andrew Cuomo knows everything. He don't need no stinkin' doctors.

And now you know why as many as 15,000 people may have died in nursing homes, because Andrew Cuomo apparently didn't follow any guidelines in that case, either.

And then he points, as usual, to "performance numbers" (i.e. bureaucratic metrics, which mean NOTHING) which apparently come from...the same bureaucracy he doesn't listen to. He then follows up with the phony fucking tough-guy routine, and adds this gem (regarding pandemic planning):

“It’s the Mike Tyson line: ‘Everybody has a plan until I punch them in the face,’” Mr. Cuomo said.

Keep taking victory laps, Hitler.

In the meantime, Governor Fuckface keeps repeating the same excuses for his lame (and deadly) response -- it was all Donald Trump's fault, it's Congress' fault, it's the Federal government's fault, everyone shares responsibility for 34,000 dead New Yorkers...except him.

In the meantime, when even democrats are calling Cuomo and his lickspittles liars and demanding to know why those pesky bureaucratic metrics Governor Cocksucker likes so much were hidden for 8 months, you know it's really bad.

In other Worst-Human-Being-to-Ever-Live News:

In yet another attempt to deflect justified criticism of his horrendous handiwork, Governor Fucktard is playing his fourth-favorite game (after "Blame everyone else", "I'll sue you!" and Masturbating), which is "look over there...that state is worse!".

Except the state he picked on is actually better. At least for COVID response and the bureaucratic metrics Governor Horseshit seems to like when they make him look better than the really is.

Have you ever noticed how crapweasels like to hide behind experts and statistics when it suits their purposes, but then shit all over other people's experts and statistics -- which are all lies, not like theirs, of course -- to try and obscure reality?

Andrew Cuomo tries very hard to do this, but because he's not very bright, he's not very good at it. He steps on the rake every time. And the thing is, he's too stupid to learn the lesson of stepping on the rake, which is, don't step on the rake, dumbass.

He finds the rake every goddamned time, no matter what the subject -- economics, the law, disaster relief, pandemics, 

Wile E. Coyote looks at Cuomo and says "Son, you're a fucking idiot."

But, hey, never forget that Governor Douchebag is the one who put the "fun" in "dysfunctional". For as he furiously tries to bail the leaky ship of state with a thimble and Power Point presentations full of bullshit, he's facing an insurgency from the Fucktard wing of his own party who are determined to kill everyone COVID leaves behind.

As New Yorkers are fleeing in all directions, especially the rich ones who all donate to democrats, the Assembly in Albany (which more-and-more comes to resemble a Special Ed. classroom on a daily basis) has decided to tax the Golden Goose into oblivion. And the really delicious part of this nonsense is that insurrection is coming from politicians whose only claim to fame (and office) is that they're the non-white-male sort that Cuomo panders to on a daily basis.

Hoist upon his own petard? How cute.

The other really retarded point is that having taxed business out of the state and out of New York City, they'll demand Washington bail them out.

Where did they ever get that idea? Oh,'s Cuomo's stock fall-back position when his own retard is showing -- Washington doesn't give us our "fair share".

Perhaps if Governor Shit-for-Brains knew anything about economics, he might want to take a look at two items:

The first is the state's debt. Currently, it is estimated at $14.5 billion dollars (as of Sept. 2020) and growing.

I say "estimated" because no one is quite sure. That's a number Il Douche-ay never mentions.

The second is where the money goes.

That would be public sector unions, welfare queens, wasteful "public-private" projects that go to the highest connected bidder, Mass Transit (more like "Ass Transit"), State agencies that are allowed to issue their own debt without any oversight, and the usual Rogue's Gallery o' Gimme, from the elderly to the illegal aliens.

But, we can't cut spending! Who would vote for Andrew "The Raging Bullshitter" Cuomo if he couldn't bribe them with other people's money?

Stay tuned...there will be more because Governor Fartsmeller just can't stay off television and out of the papers.


Anonymous said...

So.... I originally read this and was like: "yeah, sure, good luck guy". Now I'm wondering who you are and how you did this. Maybe just your focused anger alone was enough to bring the man down.

Matthew Noto said...

All things are possible with the power of the Dark Side.