Classic Lunatic #3 - Is a Yeast Infection Really an STD?

Mrs. Overlord is on the mend. We thank you all for your e-mails, phone calls, and other personal expressions of support and solidarity. And for anyone who cares, my flu has gotten better, too. Since I'm under the weather and feel guilty for not hand-crafting your year-end tomfoolery, I leave you with this Classic, originally published at the InsaneAsylum some years back. Happy New Year! Enjoy...

Addict Versus Victim...

Happy, well-adjusted, mentally-healthy people do not shoot heroin...

Damn that Mrs. Overlord!

Medical Emergency Edition...

Classic Lunatic #2 - 215 Reasons Why Liberals Suck...

Currently working on something of a blockbuster (more like a ball buster) for the holidays, so, in the meantime, have fun with the most-popular Lunatic's Asylum post EVAH...

You All Suck (Example #16 - The Four Dictum of Peak Fucktard)

Propensity for hashtag activism and virtue signalling without any physical follow-up is a clear sign that you might be missing vital chromosomes...Or a feminist...

A Message to the Delusional "REAL" Conservative...

If I were an Alabaman this morning, I'd be fucking embarrassed...

A Weekend in Paradise...

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”  -- Albert Einstein

Voices Inside My Head (#10 - Horndog Control, or Guns and Tits)

Be careful what you ask for; you might get it.

Galactic Housekeeping #4

Okay, where do we start?

A Majority of One (I Guess I won't Be Eating Here Again)

"The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, and the stupid ones are full of confidence..." -- Charles Bukowski

Irresponsible Pet Owners, Part Two...

If only I could get some democrats in front of my car...

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 12/2/2017) Betty Lyons.

One of the things that confuses the White Male of Privilege in me is the constant barrage of accusations of "genocide" allegedly committed by my forebears. It appears as if the White Man was actually rather inept when it came to genocide, considering there appears to be so many of you "victims" still left to complain. Amazing how that part of the historical record is never given over to the Revisionists to ponder.

Yes, I've Killed Your Cat; No, I'm Not Sorry...

The best evidence against either the existence of an all-powerful Creator, or of Intelligent Design, is the common housecat. No other animal I can think of is as useless or pointless.

One Vagina, Two Careers...

Happy Thanksgiving to all My Minions. As a symbolic gesture of my grand beneficence, I will now provide you with commentary upon a subject certain to put you off your turkey dinner...

You All Suck (Example #15 - It’s All in The Marketing…)

Patriot (noun)

1. a person who loves, supports, and defends his or her country and its interests with devotion.

2. a person who regards himself or herself as a defender, especially of individual rights, against presumed interference by the federal government.

Voices Inside My Head #9 (Death, Taxes, and Dumbass)

"Nothing is certain, except Death and Taxes" -- Benjamin Franklin.

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 11/18/2017): The American Public...

It would appear as if the greatest existential threat that faces America does not come from North Korean nuclear weapons, the specter of Islamofascist terrorism, or even the phony horrors of a supposedly-overheated planet; rather, our Doom originates in the special brand of Industrial-Strength Fucking Stupid we have been churning out in assembly-line fashion for the last six decades.

When I finally achieve power over Space, Time, Matter and Energy, a lot of you are going to be contemplating a future in which you might end up as a desiccated, powdery substance I've sold off to the highest bidder for use as an additive to kitty litter.

When Reality Isn't Really Real....

“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter” – Winston Churchill

You All Suck (Exhibit #14 - Erection Day)

The Overlord has been ill, but having just defied doctor's orders and wolfed down a luncheon of three tacos with extra jalapenos, extra salsa verde, washed down with a Pepsi and two chain-smoked Marlboros, is ready to tell you uncomfortable truths about the disgusting species of animal known as "Mankind". Enjoy...

Classic Lunatic #1 - Anatomy of a Government Program

The Overlord is under the weather, and has not felt up to the task of posting anything this last week. Since it would be a crime against humanity to deprive you of the original thinking and tomfoolery you so desperately crave, allow me to regale you with a Blast from the Past and post a Classic Essay from the annals of the Lunatic's Asylum before it's well-and-truly gone.

Twenty-First Century Obsessions...And Vaginas...

The 21st Century has become an age of obsessions. People are obsessed by issues of race, gender, politics. Some are obsessed with the avoidance of reality, retreating into the sub-cultures of Cosplay, Furries, or attending college to study something useless and then joining Antifa. However, obsession reaches it's peak only when the compulsion to obsess meets the unhinged, conceited female captivated by her own vagina.

And a Thousand More...

The accusation of an "-ism" is the last gasp of those who have no rational argument left to make; it is an attempt not to win the contest of ideas, nor to explore the "root causes" of whatever great injustice is supposed to have been perpetrated, but an attempt to silence -- through shame -- that which cannot be rebutted or proven through reason.

A Majority of One (The OTHER Mentally Ill...I mean, The Right)

"...There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."   

--- William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

You All Suck (Exhibit #13: Lady, Get Over Your Snatch)

Of all the things in Creation, the dumbest are these:

Sub-Saharan Africans, Irish Setters, and Feminists.

The Horror of Husbands...

I'm sure that somewhere or other a term has been invented that describes the feeling of absolute horror and disgust that is generated when one finds himself trapped in a sequence of events related to a recurring theme. "Ground Hog Day" doesn't seem to fit this particular circumstance. If anyone is familiar with that term, please e-mail me. I need it.

A Thousand Death Rattles...

The World is Not Out of Control...it's just got a really bad case of Diarrhea...

Advice for the Lovelorn Lefty Mental Patient...

This will be, by my estimation, the 40,000,012th time I have had to say this publicly, and it's unfortunately a sign of the times that I have to keep repeating myself:

The Overlord does not care if you are gay; he has his own problems, thank you very much...

A Majority of One (The Mentally Ill....I mean, "Left")

I am often asked, "My Lord, how is it that you are so easily able to write such fabulously articulate and accurate counters to Leftist ideology?"

And my typical response is, "Mostly, My Minion, it is due to the poor intellectual quality of the Left and it's followers; the fabulously articulate and accurate counters write themselves".

Galactic Housekeeping #3

Some changes are coming to this portion of the Galaxy....

Excuses, Excuses...

Ancient Chinese Proverb: Excuses are like Assholes -- everybody has one, they all stink, and they should rarely be heard in public...

You All Suck (Exhibit #12 - The Drug of Empathy)

Yes, the Overlord has been absent, but with a good excuse: he's going about his life and trying to live for today and tomorrow, but some of you can't help but rub yesterday in his face. He understands that you mean well, but it's been 16 years, already, and you can stop now.

Statues and Stoners, Scumbags and Scalawags, and A New Strategy

Hanlon’s Razor: Don’t assume malice when stupidity explains it…

A Warning From Your Galactic Overlord

Dear Dumbass,

I know there's one of you turd-eating little Snowflakes out there who is trying desperately to burrow through all the dark spaces of the Intertoobies in an attempt to hack me, "out" me, make my life miserable, whatever. Listen carefully, my Child, because I shall only say this once.

You WILL cease and desist, immediately. I mean it.

Voices Inside My Head (#8: The Cosmic Injustice)

Let's face it, if the entire Universe is out to screw you, maybe you should just give up?

The Overlord's Dating and Marriage Tips, Part 3

Keep complaining, Ladies. I have more of these. Like, so many more, you couldn't even imagine it.

The Overlord's Dating and Marriage Tips, Part 2

Because you asked!

Well, because ONE of you asked, and did so in a such a snotty way that I feel it necessary to respond, if only to rub your offended, feminist, Snowflake, out-of-joint nose in it.

Notes on Charlottesville

Someone should have reminded the Left; there's an old adage about being very careful what you ask for...

You Don't Know Tech: Google Steps on the Weenie.

A wise man (whether it was Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain or the author of the Book of Proverbs is in dispute) once said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

We live in an age where the fool has countless opportunities to remove doubt, and furthermore, is actively encouraged to do so.

Your Overlord is pleased: the sooner idiots self-identify, the sooner we can start killing them off.

You All Suck (Exhibit #11 - The Perils of Having Too Much Free Time...And a Vagina)

Idle hands, they say, are the tools of the Devil. An idle brain attached to a vagina is the Devil's Weapon of Mass Destruction...

Obviously, some people have too much free time on their hands. Way too much.

A Majority of One (The Overlord Is Displeased)

Normally, this weekly screed would be dedicated to a single issue. However, it appears as if there has been a mass outbreak of asshole which is beginning to reach epidemic proportions. Buckle up: we have a long way to go, and I'm not obeying the speed limit...

Stupid is the New Black

"In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it. Not merely the validity of experience, but the very existence of external reality, was tacitly denied by their philosophy. The heresy of heresies was common sense. And what was terrifying was not that they would kill you for thinking otherwise, but that they might be right. For, after all, how do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is unchangeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable – what then?" -- George Orwell, "1984"

Revisionist History: The Confederacy Won, After All...

Scenes from the last few days involving people of a certain socio-economic class...

You All Suck (Exhibit #10 - Stupid, They Name is Religion)

As a blogger of many years and (very) middling following, experience has taught me that there are really only a few subjects you can write about that will get you an overwhelming response, that, all things considered, you probably don't want.

Galactic Housekeeping #2

On a technical note: We're having a problem here at Galactic Central with regards to Facebook.

Capitalism Triumphs: Anal Botox -- It Smells Like Freedom!

I had meant to write about this last week, but...you know....things come up. One of those things was certainly NOT a quiet reflection on the aesthetic state of some dude's anus. I may have a lot of spare time on my hands, but not nearly enough for this...

The Overlord's Dating and Marriage Tips

Yesterday saw your Galactic Master at a family gathering where one of the topics of conversation became "Why isn't Cousin X married yet?". This question was being asked by the females present, providing yet another prime example of why there is No God.

Voices Inside My Head #7 (Carry Cash, Douchebag!)

In a world in which it appears as if all things are moving at a greater pace due to technological progress, it seems as if one area of American Life moves slower with each passing day: the checkout line.

You All Suck (Exhibit #9 - Food and Safety Nazis)

In the never-ending battle to identify the worst human beings alive -- so that they may be beaten bloody at leisure -- nothing is as helpful a tool as a holiday; Holidays bring out the worst in The Worst.

Funny Thing About Equality...

Your Overlord took a short hiatus to celebrate the July 4th holiday which involved gross quantities of various and sundry barbecued meats, a healthy supply of liquor, and a conversation that evoked dangerous thoughts bordering on Common Sense...

A Majority of One (Lucky for You, I'm Not Allowed to Kill You)

Nothing hammers home the pernicious effect of unchecked immigration like a near head-on collision.

democrats: Victims of Their Own Excess

No, that is not a typo in the title. I have deliberately used the lowercase 'd' because if history has taught us anything, it is that the democratic party is anything BUT democratic. It has evolved into a Managerialist party, the natural course of an entity largely made up of petty tyrants and mental defectives.

You All Suck (Exhibit #8 - The Illusion of Control)

The following is a true story. I can produce many witnesses. The point in telling it is to demonstrate what happens when you allow unserious, mentally-suspect people to assume positions of serious responsibility which require cool judgment and intelligence; eventually, farce ensues and everyone pays a price for the sake of saving one total dimwit's job or undeserved reputation.

Voices Inside My Head #6 (Liberals, Violence and Mental Illness)

It is indeed telling that one side of American Politics demands fairness, unprovocative language, truth and honesty, and consideration for alternate points of view for itself, while it engages in a systematic program of inciting violence, deliberately silencing foes, and spewing vitriol to the point where the Weakest Minds among the Weakest Minds find themselves justified in opening fire on Members of Congress...and, somehow, it's still someone else's fault.

It was a MOVIE, Dammit...

I say to you, My Minions, that of all that exists in Creation, the most-dangerous things of all are these: Communists, Mental Patients, Feminists, and Social Justice Warriors, and usually, they all happen to be the same people.

Oh, and a movie review, too.

Help! I'm Surrounded By Assholes!

Ruminations on the obvious lack of intelligence in our daily lives, and some science, to boot...

Galactic Housekeeping #1

A new feature!

I will be posting items or article that I happen to find which either validates anything written here, confirms my worldview, or even...GASP!...proves me incorrect or which might cause me to modify or change an opinion.

If I were a Progtard, what a fucking nightmare that might be!

However, your Overlord is a believer in the ideals of free exchange of ideas and keeping an open mind.

New, Awesome Linkage...

Can't believe I've done this, but...There is a blogger out there I've been reading for quite some time, and I've forgotten to add him to the blogroll.

So, do yourself a favor and read some very insightful and thought-provoking commentary at The Declination. You'll be glad you did.

The Vagina: An Odyssey...

I'm glad I don't have one. Experience has taught me it's more trouble than it's worth.

Voices Inside My Head #5 - WTF is Wrong With You People?

There must be something tattooed on my forehead that says "Idiots Welcome", because for all my efforts to avoid them, they keep finding me...

You All Suck (Exhibit #7- The Circus Is NOT Coming to Town)

Animals can have rights when they pay taxes.

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 5/27/2017): Chelsea Clinton

One must consider that God made a mistake in choosing Noah and his family to be spared the trial of flood, for from that mass of specific, inbred DNA Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton would eventually spring. You would think someone with "A Plan" and with vast powers over time, space, and matter would have foreseen this possibility, and selected another set of Jews.

Unless this WAS the plan, in which case, God is a fucking douchebag.

You All Suck (Exhibit #6 - The Morons Among Us)

Congratulations, America: You've perfected the Moron.

You All Suck #5 - Darwin, Two "-isms", and Survival

Have we finally reached the stage implied in Darwin's Theory which presupposes the end of Evolution within a species, marked by the unmistakable moment when continued adaptation becomes first, questionable, and then, manifestly impossible?

I'm beginning to think so. The consequences, however, are not so obvious. Perhaps there's one, last gasp of adaptation left in the Human Race, and the biological imperative to survive will kick back in, and allow us a single moment of utmost clarity within which it will become obvious as to what is required of us in order to continue as a species. The question is, will we have the brains and stomach to choose the self-evident solution?

A Majority of One (An Important Public Service Announcement)

Of all the Things in Creation, I say these three are the dumbest creatures to ever walk the Planet: Liberal Democrats, Irish Setters...and the American College Student.

The Overlord is displeased.

In fact, he is livid. Spitting mad. Red with Rage. Ready to chew vulcanized rubber. Why, if his powers over time, space, and matter were not -- as yet -- limited by the Laws of Physics, there would be an awful lot of dead people littering the landscape this day.

And most would be dead simply because they cannot muster the intellectual firepower to burn calories.

Douchebags of the Week (Week Ending 5/12/17): Two Late Night Comedians

There are two reasons why comedians usually don't enter politics. The first is that despite having a deep store of wit, they're typically not very smart. The second is that they're not very good at it (see: Al Franken).

This week we plumb the depths of television to single out two gentlemen who at one time commanded a grudging respect from your Overlord, but who have now shown themselves to be extraordinarily shallow people.

You All Suck (Exhibit #4: Old People)

One of the most amazing hypocrisies of the Modern World is, that while some in our society dream of a mass return to Nature, there is a great reluctance, often, to let Nature take it's course.

Which leads me to believe that all this talk about "holistic" this, "Save the Planet" that, and the fetishization of all things "natural" and "organic" is just another means by which bullshitters attempt to hide the smell of their own bullshit.

Voices Inside My Head #4

If you care about the "cause" of Global Warming/Climate Change, or you are convinced of the Apocalyptic end of the Planet, then do the logical thing -- rid Planet Earth of your disgusting Carbon Footprint and kill yourself -- show your devotion to the cause, for only after you set the proper example will you have the moral authority to lecture me, Pal.

You All Suck (Exhibit #3; Deer Hunting, Sterilization and The Welfare State)

Apropos of yesterday's diatribe advocating forced sterilization as a means of saving the Galaxy from the curse of progressively-dumber people, I remembered this morning that there IS a forced sterilization program in New York City...

Just not for people.

A Majority Of One (Why Forced Sterilization is a GOOD Thing)

Some of you had no business breeding. But you did. If you were dogs, I'd rub your noses in the mess you've made, and smack you with a rolled-up newspaper.

There is nothing so heartbreaking as the thought that the Human Race is doomed.

Well, maybe for you...For me, it can't be doomed soon enough. I find most people to be about as useful as Hillary Clinton at an orgy, and as likable as toenail fungus. Although to be fair to the fungus, it can be argued from a certain perspective that it may have some redeeming aesthetic value.

It's certainly colorful, at least.

Welcome New Readers!

My influence grows daily...More planets fall under my sway as the days pass, and I look out upon the Galaxy and know that, soon...soon...

Some thanks and welcomes, in short order.

To the good folks at I Own The World: You may wish to rethink that statement, for the Overlord loves nothing more than a challenge.

Except Pepsi and Marlboros. He really, really loves Pepsi and Marlboros. And Devil Dogs. With a big, cold glass of moo-juice. In fact, if he could subsist on Pepsi, Marlboros and Devil Dogs, he would.

Seriously funny commentary by a collection of truly enlightened individuals (and I mean that in a good way, not that Berkeley definition of "enlightened" which has something to do with being gay and having your head firmly ensconced inside your own ass). Stop by, read a lot, learn something, laugh like hell.

Next, what else can I say except...TANKS. TANKS are fucking cool. Oh, and there's politics, and commentary on everything from why Islam sucks (hey, you're preachin' to the choir, Son), to Tom Clancy. That's Tom-Fucking-Clancy. In fact, you will find an awful lot of other cool stuff -- especially support for our Vets -- at My Daily Kona, and if you aren't visiting there on a regular basis, well, that's just Un-American.

Voices Inside My Head #3

I have to, with great reluctance, retract something I wrote here recently.

Not because I have to; not because someone complained (as if that would work?); not because I was necessarily wrong. But because I have made a fundamental error in logic that surprises me. It's as if, for a brief moment, my normally superior linear thinking skills deserted me.

Galactic Overlords do not like to admit mistakes. However, one becomes a better Galactic Overlord by admitting them and learning from the experience. Internet Hegemony does not come to those who cannot identify and correct a critical mistake in thought.

Welcome to Some New Readers!

Rapid expansion of the Galactic Empire proceeds by leaps and bounds! New planets have been colonized, with legions of potential peons who will hear the words of The Overlord and quake with upset tummies, and perhaps giggle a little.

Welcome to readers from Goodstuff's Cyber World, an interesting collage of Science, Sci-Fi, Cosplay, Superheroes and Beer...the five basic food groups, if ever there were. The Overlord has reviewed your fare and found it worthy. He enjoyed it immensely.

Well-recommended, indeed!

Another "Hello" to our visitors from The Vulgar Curmudgeon, a site after our own heart...if we had one, that is. Old-fashioned work ethic, heavy machinery, a smattering of politics, a love of coffee. Why, it would be Heaven... if Heaven was allowed within my realm. You peons shall have no other God before me, if I have anything to say about it!

And a final "how do you do?" goes to my friend Neil, and his wonderful website, Upland Adventures. If you're all about huntin', an' fishin' an' chootin' -- and what Red-Blooded 'mericun Male, aint? -- then stop by and check out his wonderful videos and the wealth of valuable outdoorsy info on tap!

You're all getting added to the blogroll, too.

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 4/28/17): Barack Obama.

Liberals only hate money when other people have it.

It certainly did not take very long for former serial Douchebag of the Week Award Winner, former President Barack Hussein Obama, to return to his championship form. Why, one could almost be forgiven for thinking that, thankfully, out of office, Obama would retire quietly, perhaps taking up a new profession more in line with his talents.

You know, like scraping chewing gum off the bottom of movie theater seats, Men's Room Attendant (even Men in Dresses!) at Target, or perhaps selling peanuts at Wrigley Field.

But no. Some people just have all the luck, like when they get Nobel Peace Prizes for being (half-) black (and then start three more wars), or for landing tony book contracts when it's questionable as to whether such an inarticulate liar can even write (we know he can read whatever smart white men feed into his teleprompter, but I could train a chimp to do that. Oh, no! I just mentioned chimps and Obama in the same sentence. I must be racist!).

Besides, we all know it's Michelle who is the Ape in Heels.

The Overlord Is Pleased...

My Master Plan continues apace! I shall conquer the internet one planet at a time, and you shall all be at my mercy! Practice your grovelling and lick-spittleing now!

Traffic is awesome, and we're only nine days in!

Time to send some shout-outs.

First one goes to my friend Diogenes Sarcastica, and the good folks at Diogenes' Middle Finger. For those who may not be familiar with this blog, it is simply AWESOME. If you enjoy your politics and social commentary with a dash of sarcasm, a side order of snark, and The Colonel's Secret blend of 11-insults-and-bellylaughs, get over there...like right now. Your Overlord commands you!

Next, we have the folks at Traction Control, who have christened me the new Kim du Toit of internet rants. Which is extraordinarily high praise, indeed, since Kim can write up a storm. Visit them both, dammit, or I will use the Farce (here in this Galaxy, it's not The Force or The Schwartz, it's The Farce) to do...well...something not nice that you won't appreciate. Probably something to do with loss of bladder control, because that's really nasty.

Traction Control has all the gun and ammo info you need, and Kim is just a fantastic writer.

Finally, I have made Fark.com. What, pray, is Fark.com? Fark.com is an aggregation site where people get to circulate articles from all over the internet that they find funny, sarcastic or interesting, that's what it is. It's a big fucking deal, okay? Some of the best commentary on the internet is to be found there, not just in the articles, but especially in the comments. I especially love the mantra of Fark's founder, which goes something like this:

"I don't care what anyone says, the masses are morons."

Yes, the Overlord agrees.

Thank you all! Additions to the blogroll have been made.

Now go forth, my Minions, and click links.

Voices Inside My Head #2

I am getting thoroughly sick and tired of hearing from "Steve from Microsoft" calling me at all hours, with his Indian accent and repetitive line of bullshit...

Dear Microsoft,

You have a problem. A very big problem. And you need to address it...right fucking now.

Douchebags of the Week (Week ending 4/20/17): The Antifa, Helicopter Moms, and Baby Boomers

This is what happens when everyone gets a trophy.

Normally, this award goes to an individual who displays such uncompromising standards of douchiness as to defy belief, but every once in a while a group comes to the fore and makes it's fundamental douchiness too obvious and too interesting to ignore.

Such is the case with the so-called Antifa (Anti-Fascists).

Some people's children...

You All Suck (Exhibit #2)

Q: Why do we all suck?

A: Because there's always one of you who ruins it for everyone else.

I have been asked that question several times now. "Why would you write something like this? Don't you think people might be offended?"

Because I want to. As for giving offense, I don't remember it being engraved in stone somewhere that everyone had the right to go through life unoffended.

Certainly, no one worries about offending me. I can't remember a single instance in my entire life where someone said to me "I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend you", or "I'm sorry that you're offended", and even when someone says, as an aside to some particularly rude remark they've made in passing, "No offense", you know they really don't mean it. It's simply another way of saying "Fuck you, I'm speaking. Don't interrupt me" most times.

Because most people have a passionate love affair with the the sound of their own voice, even when they're spewing complete and utter bullshit.

Voices Inside My Head #1

I can promise you; the average sack of morbid obesity that populates this country is neither: a) better than me (far from it!), b) smarter than I am (as if?), and c) in no position to lecture me as to what I can say, what words I might use, or how I should think or live. If you have a different opinion on these matters, then rip your diaper off, Snowflake, and let's throw down.

It begins, as much in American Life unfortunately does these days, with a Facebook exchange.

Facebook really only serves two purposes:

1. It gives complete retards the opportunity to display their stupidity to the entire world.

2. It gives one the means by which to more-easily identify the retards, so that they may be avoided and/or purged from your life.

A Majority of One (Why You Are All Wrong)

"I Hate White People"

"Yeah? We're not too thrilled about you, either, Buddy".

Wait...which "I Hate White People" guy am I talking about? Is it the last one -- the so-called "Black Jesus", who shouted out "Allahu Akbar" as he murdered three random white men? Or is it the one who shouted "I hate White Men!" as he pushed a white guy in front of an oncoming train? Or is it the gentleman who expressed the same sentiment as he pushed a jogger into heavy traffic? Is it the one...

It's getting so hard to tell your White-hating Black Men apart....after all, you all look alike to us.

You All Suck (Exhibit #1)

"Zero Tolerance" usually translates as "A Policy Invented by an Ass-covering fucktard".

Opinions, I've often been told, are like Assholes: everyone has one, they all stink, and they should never be heard in polite company.

I've also been told that Assumption is a bad thing, too, for when you assume...well, you know the rest.

Fortunately, I've never been one to agree with "Conventional Wisdom", and could give a flying whizz at a rolling donut about "Polite Society".

How To Respond to a Post

It ain't easy housebreaking a new galaxy...

You have to love Google. Not literally, but, bless 'em, they do try hard.

Have gotten some feedback saying it's difficult to respond to posts; the process is too complicated, the responders are too retarded, whatev. The issue is that Google for some reasons wants everyone to log in when they respond with a Google ID (the better to spy on you, I reckon), unless you post as Anonymous.

In which case, you'll have to prove you're not a robot by playing a picture game and clicking "I'm Not a Robot", and then your comment will be accepted.

Sort of.

Because I have to approve it afterward.

Being a one-Emperor operation means that I can't always respond to everyone's comments immediately, or even approve them immediately, so please, bear with me. We're still under construction here, and the kinks are being slowly worked out.

Thank you for your patience.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With a Single Step

Or, in this case, picking up the journey where it left off.

I am your host, the would-be Emperor of The Galaxy, the artist-formerly-known-as-The-Lunatic, former overlord, Chief Inmate, and Keeper of the Straight Jackets of The Lunatic's Asylum. The Asylum will remain active (although I haven't posted regularly there for years) while I go about removing the choicest bits from it to save them for posterity. I learned how to express myself better in it's pages, and if one goes backwards in time over it's posts you'll see a steady improvement in technique, I think, as the years went on. A valuable learning tool.

Welcome to the initial offerings of My Planet, My Rules a new blogging endeavor in which I will attempt to continue the tradition of, and hard-won reputation for, biting, sarcastic, caustic, and perhaps even provocative commentary of a peculiar sort, but with a bit more flair, a certain higher level of sophistication, and yet with all the same four-letter words you've come to know, love and expect.

This is NOT for the faint of heart, for the easily triggered, for the fragile snowflake who goes into menstrual convulsions at the mere expression of a dangerous thought. I warn you: I eat fucktards like you for breakfast. If you want mollycoddling and lack of intelligence, I recommend you try democratic underground (lack of capitals intentional, for it is neither), or some other media outlet funded by George Soros or dedicated to the lowest common denominator that pours out pablum that defies psychological analysis, like HuffPo or Slate.

You will only find Common Sense here, delivered in a style that you can't handle. And by that, I mean honestly.