Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 1/20/2024 -- Chris Christie)

 Oblivious (adj):

1. Lacking conscious awareness, unmindful.
2. Lacking all memory; forgetful.
3. Promoting oblivion; causing forgetfulness.

Dark Clouds and Silver Linings, Part 2 (Even The Plague Had It's Upside)

"Change is the only constant in Life..." -- Heraclitus

Explaining The Mystery of Biden and Sanders...

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You All Suck (Example #34 -- Impeach This, Asshole!)

"I think it absolutely necessary that the president should have the power to remove his subordinates from office; it will make him, in a peculiar manner, responsible for their conduct, and subject him to impeachment, himself, if he suffers them, to perpetrate with impunity high crimes or misdemeanors against the United States, or neglects to superintend their conduct, so as to check their excesses." -- James Madison

Mueller and Tilting at Windmills....

"The truth may be stretched thin, but it never breaks, and it always surfaces above lies, as oil floats on water" -- Miguel Cervantes, "Don Quixote"

Douchebag of the Week (Week ending 3/15/19 - Baby Boomers)

"The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "Gimme that! It's Mine!" -- George Carlin

A Majority Of One: "Be Careful What You Ask For...".

"The safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." -- C.S. Lewis

Turkey, Suicide and Snot...

"(A Holiday) is a restoring thing, which, by a blast of magic turns Man into himself." -- G.K. Chesterton

"Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence." -- Erma Bombeck.

Bombs, Bombast and Boobs...

"Death is the solution to all problems. No Man - no problem." -- Josef Stalin

A Majority of One: Counting Cults...

"There are some ideas so stupid only an intellectual could believe in them..." -- George Orwell.

Impotent Passive-Aggressive Crazy Rage...

"'And everybody praised the Duke
Who this great fight did win
"But what good of it came at last?"
Quoth little Peterkin
'Why that I cannot tell', said he,
'But t'was a famous victory'"

--- "After Blenheim", Robert Southey

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 5/26/2018) - Stormy Daniels

“Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?"
Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!"
Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price”   -- Winston S. Churchill

Capitalism Triumphs: Anal Botox -- It Smells Like Freedom!

I had meant to write about this last week, but...you know....things come up. One of those things was certainly NOT a quiet reflection on the aesthetic state of some dude's anus. I may have a lot of spare time on my hands, but not nearly enough for this...

You All Suck (Exhibit #8 - The Illusion of Control)

The following is a true story. I can produce many witnesses. The point in telling it is to demonstrate what happens when you allow unserious, mentally-suspect people to assume positions of serious responsibility which require cool judgment and intelligence; eventually, farce ensues and everyone pays a price for the sake of saving one total dimwit's job or undeserved reputation.

The Vagina: An Odyssey...

I'm glad I don't have one. Experience has taught me it's more trouble than it's worth.

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 5/27/2017): Chelsea Clinton

One must consider that God made a mistake in choosing Noah and his family to be spared the trial of flood, for from that mass of specific, inbred DNA Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton would eventually spring. You would think someone with "A Plan" and with vast powers over time, space, and matter would have foreseen this possibility, and selected another set of Jews.

Unless this WAS the plan, in which case, God is a fucking douchebag.

You All Suck (Exhibit #2)

Q: Why do we all suck?

A: Because there's always one of you who ruins it for everyone else.

I have been asked that question several times now. "Why would you write something like this? Don't you think people might be offended?"

Because I want to. As for giving offense, I don't remember it being engraved in stone somewhere that everyone had the right to go through life unoffended.

Certainly, no one worries about offending me. I can't remember a single instance in my entire life where someone said to me "I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend you", or "I'm sorry that you're offended", and even when someone says, as an aside to some particularly rude remark they've made in passing, "No offense", you know they really don't mean it. It's simply another way of saying "Fuck you, I'm speaking. Don't interrupt me" most times.

Because most people have a passionate love affair with the the sound of their own voice, even when they're spewing complete and utter bullshit.