Saturday, May 26, 2018

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 5/26/2018) - Stormy Daniels

“Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?"
Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!"
Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price”   -- Winston S. Churchill

With regards to the whole "Trump pronged a porn star" kerfuffle.
Wow, I'm positively SHOCKED (look, really, this is my shocked face!) that Donald Trump, who has always been a crass and lecherous man, a serial adulterer with a history of divorces and infidelity behind him, would use his money and public profile to screw a porn "star" just because he could.

I mean, seriously, did we not k
now who Donald Trump was before he got elected? Did anyone not know?

Let's stop all this fake clutching at pearls. It's unseemly and too cute, by half.

So, why all the noise?

Because having advanced a narrative that Amerikkka is a racist, misogynist nation that has spectacularly boomeranged upon their own (See: Franken, Weinstein, et. al.), and having failed to concoct evidence of foreign interference in the election, and failed to get any of Trump's subordinates to flip on him under legal pressure, and having failed to find any Constitutional or legal means by which to overturn the results of a lawful election (that Hillary rigged in her favor), and having failed to advance a series of policies that might reverse their fortunes next year, and having failed to locate attractive, competitive candidates to stand for election everywhere, and having failed at simply holding their breaths and stamping their feet (any of this "Resistance" bullshit), not to mention the failed abuse of the the legal and intelligence systems to entrap the man in a variety of webs that would amount to an accusation of a fabricated crime, any self-respecting leftist would have given up, already.

But, then again, no real leftist has any self-respect, for if they did, they wouldn't advocate for a welfare state.

All that's left is the "hypocrisy" card that usually fells weaker Republicans. The strategy behind it is that if The Right is all a bunch of moral prudes, then, naturally, they should be shocked and appalled at this behavior from the president and demand his resignation. After all, they did it for Packwood, and Craig, and dozens of others.

Which just goes to show why the Left still "hasn't got it" when it comes to Trump: no one elected him to be the moral hall monitor of America; they elected him because HE WASN'T YOU, or a squishy facsimile, like Jeb!, Leftard. They don't care if Trump fucks a cocker spaniel in Times Square while wearing a clown suit and smoking crack, his appeal was that he wasn't "just another politician", who could relate to the people and their problems. The Left, generally, keeps trotting out this "he's soooo Un-Presidential!" bullshit , and it's funny to watch them get more and more frustrated that it isn't working, while simultaneously getting amnesia about a certain un-Presidential use of a cigar.

By the way, an old joke:

Q: What did Bill leave on Monica's dress?

A: Presidue.

As for Ms. Daniels, when you make your living as a human pincushion and routinely are ejaculated upon by multiple men, often simultaneously, any claims to self-respect, demands to be respected as an individual, declarations of innocence, and sudden embrace of propriety are laughable.

Particularly after you've received $130,000 for services rendered, and possibly violated a non-disclosure agreement.

I'll bet that rankled: don't let anyone know I've banged you like a screen door in a hurricane. It's almost as bad as not calling the next day, the fucking cad.

You can complain about being (with consent, it seems) manhandled by Trump all you'd like, Madam (and I mean "Madam" in every sense of the word), but if you believe you're about to get some of your own back, or perhaps become an historical figure who takes down a President, or maybe even get a 15 minutes of fame that doesn't involve some ruffian pounding your anal cavity like it was a veal cutlet, then I'm afraid you're sadly mistaken. You've hitched your wagon to the wrong bunch: The Left will fuck you longer and harder than Trump did, doesn't use lube, and won't even have the courtesy of leaving some spare change on the nightstand when they're done with you and you have outlived your usefulness to them.

I know this might be a difficult concept for you to swallow right now (pun intended), but "once a whore, always a whore", and while I'm certain whores have feelings, too, and that this might be blatantly unfair (take it up with the Culture), it's difficult to see what the problem is here when Trump was just one of perhaps thousands to have sampled your (obviously surgically-enhanced) charms, and most likely found them lacking (I'm guessing that's the reason for the anger).

Choices have consequences, Stormy. You've chosen a career as a walking, talking sperm bank. To behave as if you're somehow a victim in all this when you have deliberately pursued an on-screen persona as a wanton cumdumpster who is up for anything is really unbecoming. It's hypocritical.

Again, this may not be fair. In real life, you might very well be a very sweet, sensitive, intelligent lady... who simply makes her living by a vicarious form of prostitution. However, The Public doesn't know that Stormy Daniels; they only know the one you've been happy to portray and make a shitload of money from: the easy. blond spermcatcher with no gag reflex.

If you are a victim, I would say it's of your own success; having played the whore. and become famous as the whore, someone actually took you at your word. And probably for the first time in your life, I reckon.

How'd that work out for you?

As for the political aspect of this whole thing:

I'll bet Bill Clinton had your number on speed dial, too. When you were younger, and probably worth it. What's the matter? He didn't offer up any cash? Or did you just not get the opportunity?

Speaking of Billy Jeff Bentpenis, I seem to remember his acolytes responding to the charges of indecent behavior with "It's just about sex", and dismissing his misdeeds as "a personal matter between the President and His (Nominal) Wife". Having performed that act for many years, you don't get to wag your collective finger (which was probably inside Miss Daniels, too, since it seems that was a popular destination for many males) at anyone.

Now, I'm not here to defend Donald Trump. For starters, he's shown incredibly poor taste, even for a guy who builds faux-marble and gold-tinted tin foil skyscrapers in a grossly cartoon-ish baroque style, and then plasters his name in neon on them. Secondly, I can think of better uses for $130,000; Your Overlord, in his time, has had better for far less, like half a dozen tequila shots and a second-hand Jimmy Buffet t-shirt, because "empowered" "feminist" horndogs abound and are notoriously profligate with their favors in America (Dawn? Remember me? Call me!).

However, I do want you know, Miss Daniels, that I DO, in fact, see the thing from your point-of-view, as well, especially given the politically-driven, bandwagon popularity of #MeToo, and the stunningly stupefying "logic" of feminist ideology (two lies for the price of one):

It doesn't matter if you began as a pretend whore, merely playing a part in a sexually-themed dramatic vignette, and then advanced to becoming a real one by accepting cash for a sexual tryst, the fact that you have boobs and live in America make you a victim, regardless. Your own responsibility in this sordid mess doesn't really count, because vagina. I get it. Really. It makes no sense, but I really do get it.

What you want is to be a whore and simultaneously not be perceived as one; to be a prostitute without having to suffer the social indignity and opprobrium that comes with that; to be "free" to use your body as you see fit without having to be judged by people who disagree with your choice, or hear from them.You wish to profit without feeling filthy regarding the method.

Unfortunately, that's never going to happen. Even in 21st Century America, where morals are optional and ethics are situational. Shame and guilt are programmed into every human being at a level even leftist politics sometimes can't get to.

And much like Trump used you as an expensive place to park a boner for probably six minutes, and much like the porn industry has used you to line pockets from your (willing) humiliation, and much like the endless cavalcade of ginormous penises that have stretched all of your orifices to the point of lost elasticity, you're just going to have to deal. It was all pre-ordained the day you decided that tag-team fellatio was a better way to make a living than getting a job.

At least then, you might have the standing to cry "rape", but when you make your living basically simulating your own rape(s), you lose all moral standing to demand respect.

I would give you the Douchebag of the Week Award, but I figure $130,000 should have been sufficient to keep you in Summer's Eve for a month, and probably efficacious enough to knock some of that crust off your labia. So, sans trophy, you'll have to make due with Honorable Mention, seeing as how you've already profited enough on poontang.

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