"It's obvious. Only a criminal would disguise himself as a licensed, bonded guard yet callously park in front of a fire hydrant..." -- Batman
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have leapt from the realm of Reality and entered the domain of fantasy most bizarre.
A clash of (metaphorical) titans is about to begin, the likes of which were once only possible within the garishly-colored pages of the comic books, but which circumstances -- wholly indicative of the near-ruination of these United States -- have vomited forth to bewilder, amuse, and ultimately, make us nervous about the future of an independent people and republic.
A real-life Bruce Wayne (Elon Musk) has found himself diametrically opposed by a batshit-insane third-rate Joker wanna be (Nina Jankowicz).
Some background for those of you who maybe slipped into a coma this past week or so ago.
Musk, multi-billionaire, bought Twitter, a moribund internet platform widely known as the shallow end of the intellectual gene pool, playground for propagandists and professional liars -- excuse me, professional journalists -- and in the process, ripped the scab off the festering wound that is the pus-filled sac of insanity that is the American Left.
In a delicious irony, Musk purloined Twitter by resorting to capitalism, which even the most dyed-in-the-wool, communist-infused, Stalin lover cannot resist, offering about 50% more per share than what Twitter is actually worth (IMO). In doing so, he more-or-less instigated a revolt among the investors which caused them to turn upon the worthless assortment (but mostly the "ass" part) of for-show leftards (they pretend to espouse all things Socialism, but then manage to get rich by it) who run it.
Faced with a choice between their "principles" and having an angry mob show up on their doorsteps, for a change, the "Board of Directors" of Twitter (that's not an accurate description of who they are or what they do, by the way) capitulated after making the appropriate noises you always hear rich men make when someone is jawboning them into accepting an inflated price for an otherwise shitty product -- Oh, please! No, I don't want more money! I beg you, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME TAKE MORE MONEY! But...but...my principles! -- but, as ever, it was all a dog-and-pony production.
The offer was too good to refuse: the alternatives were endless lawsuits and possible manslaughter at the hands of angry shareholders in full menstrual dudgeon.
Capitalism wins again! Free Speech shall return to the Internet! Democracy is SAVED!
But, not so fast...
For the reaction of the self-selected Ruling Clique was both predictable and rapid.
There was rending of garments. There was gnashing of teeth. Tears were spilled. Predictions of Apocalypse flowed from the multiplicity of blowholes with by-lines lacking in self-awareness.
"A billionaire cannot be permitted to control an organ of public discourse like this!" said billionaires who control organs of public discourse with names like Bezos and Brin.
"Allowing one man to control the flow of public information on a publicly-offered platform is tantamount to fascism!" said people who control the flow of public information with names like Gates and Zuckerberg.
"Free Speech is a danger to democracy!" said the Brainless Mass of Clod with Ivy League Degrees who wouldn't know democracy if it ran up to them and bit them on their pompous and clueless collective ass.
And then the Biggest Crybaby of Them All, the so-called "Biden Administration", the metaphoric Legion of Doom to Elon's metaphoric Justice League, roused itself from it's afternoon nap, put on a fresh adult diaper, and proceeded to do what all incompetent regimes led by total morons always do when faced with a challenge to its (perceived) authority, and without so much as a thought to due Constitutional Process, went ahead and created an ad hoc Secret Police to put an end to all this talk of free expression and freedom.
And the "Disinformation Governance Board" was thus created, from the flop sweat of the Left, dedicated, so we are told, to combatting the Bane of Civil Society.
That is to say, anything that may be written, transmitted, shared, propagated among The Masses that may -- will -- expose the political left for what it truly is; a vile collection of stunted and immature intellects, driven by jealousy, angst, fear, and above all, an awareness of their uselessness that they strive mightily to refuse recognizing. Heaven forfend that you, fucking peasant, should be made aware of it because control of the organs of propaganda are in the "wrong" hands.
The Mouth of Sauron (if you'll allow me to mix fantasy milieu here for a moment) must remain in the hands of the Evil Ones. The loss of Twitter -- the One Ring, if you will -- entails the destruction of the left's for-real Mordor.
That is a wonderful appellation. "Disinformation Governance Board". In typical Orwellian doublethink, it obviously has two meanings.
The first being a literal translation that gives the impression that the government is going to take great pains to protect us all from deliberate disinformation.
The second implies that the government will be churning out this dangerous disinformation, deciding which version of complete and utter nonsense will be acceptable for public consumption and that which is not, despite the fact that all of it will be complete nonsense churned out by government and it's pilot fish of "respectable" media outlets (i.e. those friendliest and most-sycophantic to the regime).
The alacrity with which this occurred is marvelous. If only the government reacted as quickly to, say, policing the border, or reducing crime, or maybe, just maybe, something that the CITIZENRY requires instead of looking after it's own interests, things might actually work well in this country.
But, no. There is only one threat to the United States of America, and that is whatever promises to deprive the American left of its ability to continue to shape the thoughts, habits, actions, and ultimately emotions, of millions of unintelligent lummoxes.
That was Twitter's true value. If you put it on Twitter, you can reach roughly 200 million sets of eyeballs with no gray matter behind them instantaneously, and keep them mesmerized while whatever you said five minutes ago can be just-as-instantaneously changed, altered, refashioned, refabricated on a minute-by-minute basis, as you need it to be, with the added bonus that the first wave of dickheads to be hypnotized will transfer that hypnosis to the rest of the hive mind even faster than you can.
The Left depends upon control of the organs of information in order to survive. It has to censor its opponents because what it has to offer cannot stand up to comparison or scrutiny.
The Left must control these media outlets. The ability to spew shit of their own choosing, at the times of their own choosing, bolstered by the belief that perhaps 999 people out of 1,000 will accept it uncritically, and pass it on is a valuable tool in the leftist program of polishing turds. The ability to deny those same outlets to their political opponents, or people they just don't like, is likewise, useful to the program of polishing turds.
Turds are all they have to offer.
Elon Musk is one of those people they just don't like.
And, returning to the Gotham City motif, the very-quickly-created "Disinformation Governance Board" (given all the police powers implied by attachment to The Department of Homeland Security) required a foe worthy of Batman, and found one in a thirty-something jackass of no appreciable talent or intelligence named Nina Jankowicz to play the role of the Internet Joker.
She certainly LOOKS the part.
Whereas Batman is a symbol, of among other things, the restoration of order and the protection of civil society, Jankowicz is an excuse for a continuation of the status quo of useful disorder. Even the fact that she is a female (apparently the Biden Administration keeps finding the worst examples of the gender to promote and give authority to) is a curious (although you-bet-your-ass-contrived) juxtaposition of Man versus Woman.
So that when she (predictably) fails at her primary task -- stopping Elon Musk by fear and intimidation, with great obstacle courses constructed of government red tape and lawsuits, a-plenty -- the excuse for failure has already been baked into the cookie. The Patriarchy is the true enemy of for-real-true-to-life-official-and-sanctioned-fact lovers everywhere, as represented by Wayne/Batman/Musk.
I must admit to not knowing much about Jankowicz, except from what I've seen online (and considering a lot of that has been unflattering, expect it to be scrubbed soon as "disinformation"). However, I can say the following with absolutely no concern about spouting "disinformation" of my own:
a) if all you've done is produce YET ANOTHER book about how hard it is to be cursed with a vagina, only in cyberspace, you're not a very deep or original thinker.
b) Women who wear that much lipstick are advertising something, and they probably aren't delivering it, either.
(The Men will know what I mean).
In the meantime, a war is brewing inside Gotham City. The Normal People who just wish to be left alone to live their lives and enjoy their freedoms are opposed by a force for evil who is committed to destroying the Normals by any means necessary and to the bitter end.
They have to; failure ends in tar and feathers, for the few fortunate who may survive the revelation of what they've done in secret, if not worse.
Up until now it's just been the skirmishers to hit the battlefield -- the dilettante, stoned white boys of ANTIFA, the more-emotionally-charged-but-stoned-too mob of Black Lives Matter, interspersed with the occasional burp of "hey, what about us?" from the "trans", the feminists, and the Furries.
Now the heavy artillery is being brought out. The Full-on Cosmically Crazy are being trotted out, Jankowicz is merely the popgun the precedes the Big Bertha of Insanity to come.
They mean to start a Civil War, something I told you about a few months back. This explains everything this (P)resident and his cackling venereal disease sidekick (Captain Crapped-his-pants and STD Girl) have done since stealing the election and why they don't seen able to accept objective reality and change what they've done.
Success, in the sense of a well-ordered, law-abiding, prosperous country is not the goal; it is a maintenance of power for it's own sake and ill-gotten rewards. It's how they can convince themselves that negative economic growth is a sign of a healthy economy; it's how they attempt to blame outside forces for their own politically-motivated stupidity, and why they seem to have decided to double down on fucktard rather than reverse or modify their course.
The first casualty of war is Truth.
Ever since the American Press (and left, but I repeat myself) went all-in on the Clintonian Scam, Truth has earned itself at least a dozen Purple Hearts. Unlike many who may be overly-excited at the thought of Elon Musk finally putting those Blue Check Bolsheviks back in their rightful place, I will wait a while before I throw any parties. Twitter is choked with the weeds of the ideologically-fanatical, the Woke, and the dregs of stupidity, and you can rest assured they will fight a ferocious rear-guard action to keep Twitter from becoming a fountain of Truth.
Now it appears as if their cohorts that invaded the institutions of government will be arming them in the same way we're aiding the Ukrainians -- the American government will come to their rescue, without the decency to openly declare war.
UPDATE: Fixed a couple of egregious spelling and grammatical errors. I suck at editing.