"The main thing I learned about Conspiracy Theory is that conspiracy theorists believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is often chaotic. The Truth is that it is not the Illuminati, The Jewish Banking Conspiracy, or the Gray Alien Conspiracy. The Truth is far more frightening -- no one is in control. The World is rudderless." -- Philip Moore
"...if you assume a big enough conspiracy, you can explain everything. Including the cosmos, itself." -- Fritz Leiber
I've had the distinct pleasure -- about as pleasurable as having a double root canal via my rectum, sans anesthesia -- of coming across two (2) of that most curious of human beings generally known as Conspiracy Theorists this past week. The general details are largely irrelevant as to place, time, and whom, but the WHAT is the fascinating part.
It's not only what the conspiracy du jour is supposed to be, but what it's supposed to mean, what it is supposed to portend, and what are we doing letting these mental patients roam the streets?
These people belong in hospitals, heavily sedated, perhaps restrained. The truly perplexing part is that some of them vote and some of them have passed the fucktard gene on to a new generation.
Generalizing, your typical Conspiracy Theorist has several distasteful traits in common (no particular order):
1. They're not very bright. They'd like you to think they are, but these are rather dim bulbs, for the most part. In fact, this is part of the attraction of Conspiracy Theory (CT from now on) for them: you never know exactly what they're talking about (mostly because they don't, either. They tend to make it up as they go along) and the confusion they generate with their own confusion allows them to forget for a little while that they are possessed of below-room-temperature IQ's. Your inability to follow their convoluted fantasy becomes a sign of your stupid, rather than a manifestation of their own mental disease.
This is projection.
2. They tend to be very insecure people. Literally afraid of everything for lack of understanding and critical thinking skills. Reality frightens them beyond all things. The fantasy of the CT puts complicated matters of existence and events into a frame which they can control. It's ALL about control; this illusion of control brings them an illusion of understanding; the illusion of understanding brings them mental comfort.
Most were probably thumb-suckers into their early 20's.
A peculiar aspect of this mindset is that on the one hand, it is everyone else who is a mind-controlled robot (that's why "they" put fluoride in the water) who will knuckle under to government control, but the CT's are independent thinkers not operating under the cognitive dissonance of claiming independence while desperately wishing for someone to be in command, at all.
3. There is often a merging of CT and politics. Not being very smart people, this is a subject they also don't understand. Ideologies and the differences between them confuses them. Lacking a worldview which is in part a result of political activity and thought, they tend to grasp at loose threads wherever they may be found and weave this into a pseudo-ideology that is more propaganda than it is fact. More virtual reality than objective reality.
The CT, sometimes by it's very nature and underlying motivation, changes according to current political conditions all the time. For example: George W. Bush invades Iraq at the orders of the Jew Bankers on behalf of the New World Order so that America may steal Arab Oil and rule the world. That neither happened is not recognized. It will be the same story 50 or 100 years hence. The motivation will remain, and a new theory for why the original theory failed to materialize will be constructed.
When Barack Obama comes along and there's still no oil-stealing and no world-ruling he interferes in Libya and the Syrian Civil War on behalf of the International Communist Conspiracy...and the Jew Bankers...so that Hillary Clinton can be elected. That Hillary does not get elected, that International Communism does not come to Syria or Libya will be dismissed. Communism and Hillary are Red Herrings: it was REALLY all about _______ (insert new mental waste here).
The CT is NEVER wrong; if what he proposes to be true is never reflected in reality, that's only because the conspiracy runs deeper than you think, the powers behind it are patient and willing to wait years, often decades, for their plans to bear fruit, and, of course, once the Joooooos made enough money, they left their handiwork unfinished because it was no longer necessary. That the passage of time, the numbers of people involved, the nature of information and how it is disseminated, make this extraordinarily implausible is not a concern: if no one talks it's because they're all sworn to secrecy or terrified into silence; if the conspiracy involves 10,000 people they're all mind-numbed drones blindly following orders and never in possession of enough information to blab, if information is publicly available that disproves the conspiracy, wholly or in part, it was planted to throw you off the scent.
The goalposts are constantly moving.
Incidentally, you find an unhealthy streak of anti-Semitism (another hallmark of the left) running through almost every conspiracy theory, regardless of subject: economics, UFO's, Wall Street, Wars, The Drug Problem, Global Warming. Even the idea that you can only get hot dogs in a package of ten while buns come in packages of eight is a conspiracy of The International Jew Banking Clique, or the Skull and Bones Society.
Point out that if one group of people had that sort of power, influence and money, they wouldn't have to stick around Europe for two millennia to be continually robbed, murdered, oppressed and become victims of genocide, and you will discover that this, too, is an integral part of the conspiracy; it's how Jews create a shield of sympathy behind which they continue to subvert, undermine, steal, and pervert.
Hitler could not have written a better piece of fiction, himself.
4. They tend not to be religious (not that there's anything wrong, per se, with this, but religion is one of the pillars that makes one's worldview and often informs one's politics); the pseudo-ideology takes the place of religion in their lives. You find this to be a common thread that runs through much of the political left and those who would, if they understood politics at all, would be classified as at least leaning leftwards. Leftist politics are all about propaganda and conspiracy. Historically, it has been the leftist who is most-moved and affected by propaganda.
You can tell this becomes religion by the way they treat non-believers. If you don't follow them down the rabbit hole, then you are an instrument of evil; an infidel. The religious imperative is dressed-up in non-religious terms: replace "heretic" with "government drone"; replace "pagan" with "sheeple"; substitute "puppet" for "Apostate". The newest term I've heard had me laughing; the CT's now refer to those who do not conform to their worldview and accept their fairy tales as "cucks", a term originally intended to identify right-wingers who left the Hive Mind.
They excommunicate you.
But the Pope is really the anti-Christ in thrall to the Rothschilds and International Jewry.
5. Facts do not matter. Evidence is conditional. Logic can be dispensed with if it interferes with belief in the CT. In fact, lack of facts, evidence or logic is usually confirmation the CT is correct. After all, "they" wouldn't leave any evidence behind, would "they"?
Then how did you uncover their nefarious plot, Sherlock?
These little fucktards form an echo chamber wherein they speak mostly to one another, regurgitate one another's pablum, and have erected a system wherein if enough people BELIEVE in something, despite lack of evidence, this becomes evidence in and of itself. They will then trade this newly-minted evidence like baseball cards and herpes among one another, and the belief then becomes rock solid and unassailable. The circumstance of numbers overcomes the necessity of proof (meaning their numbers. So, if 50 CT believe something without proof, then it's fact. If 5 million non-CT'ers believe something, they're all under the spell of the CIA and Jooooos. The only numbers that count are those that are found within the cocoon).
6. These are deeply disturbed people. Past a certain level it goes beyond stupid and passes into the realm of Psychosis, complete with delusions and disorganized thoughts. I would categorize many (and cautiously, at that) as Borderline Personalities. The evidence is all there: lack of empathy, inability to incorporate information that calls a core belief into question; single-minded in purpose; paranoid; unstable sense of self and unstable emotions; splitting ("black-or-white" thinking); disproportionate emotional reactions; anger; dysphoria (a state of continuous dissatisfaction with everything).
I encountered two of these little morons this past week spouting different CT with regards to the death of a Saudi "journalist" which has become a cause celebre of the American left (I'm telling you: if these people could shed their mental disorders, they'd realize they were the real Communists and Nazis).
An amazing number of conspiracy theories involve pot. Just sayin'.
I would surmise that a good many of them fall somewhere on the Autism Spectrum, but then once you meet one, you realize that Autism might be considered a superpower in some of these cases.
The catalyst for this explosion of fuckatrd is this Saudi dude killed by other Saudis in Turkey. Somehow, his death is linked with the most outrageous examples of conspiracy, often including people and organizations that one would normally consider benign and inoffensive. Like the Boy Scouts, or corporations always lumped in together under the adjective of "Big" (Big Oil, Big Pharma, etc). That these individuals and organizations would obviously have competing aims and might have nothing to conspire with one another for is easily dismissed. For the Free Thinker is Free Thinking enough to understand (they usually say "know") that everyone not them is engaged in Groupthink. This means Exxon-Mobil is in lockstep agreement with Saudi Aramco; CitiBank is in complete simpatico with the Bundesbank; the Republican party is in cahoots with the Democrats.
Because Joooooos, naturally.
Let's dispose of the questions surrounding the Saudi "victim" immediately. It is interesting to note, however, that the CT's theories surrounding this man and his demise all rely, to a large extent, on the opinions and reports of "Big Media", which are largely being parroted, just in a different context. Again Cognitive Dissonance: the man is supposedly at the crux of some nefarious plot, because the media is telling you he was important enough for a government to kill him. In the meantime, 9.9875 out of 10 people have no clue as to who he was, or would know if it hadn't shown up in their newsfeed or flashed across the TV screen.
Of course, the CT knew who he was long before anyone else did. Because they know everything.
The man in question was not "a journalist". I went and searched out his "journalism" and it amounted to a few Op-Ed's that revolved around anti-Semitism, The Palestinian "struggle" (apparently, this struggle is to say "yes"), and obvious propaganda. The man in question was a shill for the Muslim Brotherhood. The fact that an American newspaper or two decided to print his word vomit does not make him "a journalist" any more than my typing this makes me one. He only becomes a journalist, retroactively, and inasmuch as the American press needs him to be, in order to make a greater point about Donald Trump's "bullying" of the American media.
(Now who's engaged in Conspiracy Theory?)
The American Press, in the attempt to carry forward it's campaign that it is a victim of unjustified assault under an oppressive regime, frightened for their very lives, will elevate a guttersnipe and embrace him as one of their own only so far as it embarrasses a president they don't like into doing what they want him to do: which is to stop exposing their lying, biased ways. If the Saudis can kill "a journalist" and Trump will do nothing about it, what do you think he'll do to us?
The Saudis kill each other all the time. The Muslim Brotherhood kills more people -- including other Muslims -- as a matter of course. There are no "good" guys here. This is inherent in the Arab mindset and culture, which are conspiratorial of their own accord, duplicitous, and largely connected to casual murder and violence as a means of settling disputes. Why Americans should care about one more dead Arab killed by Arabs among the millions of other Arabs killed by Arabs is a poser. Even more puzzling is the fact that one hears most often that Americans SHOULD care from people who just the week before were confident that America is hated all over the world precisely because it interferes in the internal affairs of other peoples and nations.
The Cognitive Dissonance is stunning.
None of it has anything to do with the fact that Jim Acosta is an asshole, that Rachel Maddow couldn't find her own ass with both hands and a flashlight on a good day, and that media outlets in this country ROUTINELY and often KNOWINGLY print and broadcast obvious falsehoods, slant editorial coverage, inject the politics of the newsroom and the dorm room into everything, including the Sport's page. While it might be fun to watch Jim Acosta being beaten to death, or Don Lemon torn to shreds by wild dogs, no is advocating that such things be done, and ultimately, no one will do them.
Not even President Nacho Cheese Nazi.
This is not "reportage", it's hysteria. It's a hysteria which has it's roots in the lack of credibility in modern journalism, it is a reflection that the journalists in question understand their role in creating that lack of credibility (and the consequences), but like everything else in American Life, the "journalist" feels entitled to escape responsibility for the dislike, distrust, and often visceral contempt, that they've engendered. The fault is not with them; it's with the rest of us, because "journalist" equals "right to lie" and "no standards", because they're special.
So, if a gun-running, Anti-Semite terrorist flack has to be beatified in order to allow the American Media to escape responsibility for it's current slovenly state and the resulting backlash, then so be it. Hey, they've done far worse.
Conspiracy Nut #1 claims the killing of this dude by the Saudi government is a "false flag" operation. In CT circles, a "false flag" is an event that is staged in order to deliberately create a false impression in the minds of the Sheeple to distract them while government does something inherently bad and going about it unnoticed.
Conspiracy Nut #1 insists he knows this to be true because he served in Special Forces in Afghanistan and Iraq, performing "Black Ops" (super-secret operations that, officially, do not exist, and therefore, cannot be proven to have actually taken place. How convenient?) in psychological warfare and propaganda. He warns that the killing of Sandy Butthole "Journalist" is an indication that the American government is about to do something "not right".
As if to prove his bona fides, he informs you he is not the LEAST BIT POLITICAL, and that during the Clinton Years he was running around the woods of South Carolina and Georgia burying arms and ammunition in anticipation of a Clintonista Communist Revolution in the wake of the Waco church disaster. So, he's not some crazy partisan...but Trump is Hitler and in the pay of the Saudis, just like Clinton is/was.
Of COURSE I believe you. Why, you might be the sanest, most-clear-headed man I've ever met. Everyone knows the mark of the sharpest intellect is the propensity to bury ammunition.
Ask him to explain himself, just what is to happen and to what specific end, and you get the usual rigamarole: New World Order, Jews, Freemasons, Federal Reserve Bank, Council on Foreign Relations. None of it is connected; he's rambling. Ask for evidence, and his response is that "he knows, because Special Forces" -- he claims 20 combat tours in both Afghanistan and Iraq, which would probably make him the most combat-experienced American Soldier of all time, a REAL Captain America, and a treasure trove of intelligence that would probably preclude his deliberate exposure to danger for that long (Delusional? You be the judge) -- and that he doesn't need any physical proof, because he's seen it too many times.
And here you are, on Facebook, telling everyone about your super-secret-Black-Ops-False-Flag-Propaganda secrety secrets. You are, without a doubt, the WORST spy EVAH. Someone trusted you with military secrets? Sure they did.
The 24-hour-a-day game of HALO going on inside his skull must be awesome.
Conspiracy Nut #2 is a familiar foil. Or should I say, familiar FOOL.
According to him, 9/11 never happened. It was a Hollywood production. The fact that I was there and saw it happen is a lie. Likewise, the Moon Landings were filmed by Stanley Kubrick in the Nevada Desert. The Earth is not only Flat, but it is also Hollow, with millions of people living in a connected network of cities beneath the crust. Columbus did not "discover" America: he was led there by aliens who needed him to begin the process by which the Maya -- who possessed the secrets of space and time travel -- could be exterminated. Point out the Maya disappeared centuries before Columbus arrived and you are a willing dupe of the U.S. Government, which wants you to believe this for reasons he cannot articulate.
Ask why the aliens would want the Maya destroyed and you discover it is because they could not countenance a race of inferior beings that would rival them in technological achievement. Ask if they had the technological achievements to cross galaxies why they didn't wipe the Maya out themselves, and we discover it's because "The Grays" have a highly-evolved system of ethics beyond our understanding and cannot take direct action that would harm another. Ask how many "Grays" he's met and where I can find them, and the answer is none and nowhere.
But they exist and are superior to us in all ways.
Reserve judgment: you haven't met my rainbow unicorn that shits Skittles, pees lemonade, farts rainbows, sneezes glitter and pukes cotton candy.
According to this disordered pile of horseshit, a dead Saudi is an indication that "the Zionists" are preparing to crush all opposition to their program of World Domination. This single death was necessary because this particular guy was planted by the Mossad with fake plans for the assassination of the House of Saud, to keep the authorities off the trail of the REAL assassins.
And this is America's business because Orange Man Bad. Orange Man is also in on the plot, being on both the Saudi and Joooooo payroll. It must be, because his son-in-law is a Jooooo banker and heavily invested in the Mid East "Peace process" which the Jooooos do not want, since there's less profit and power to be had in peace.
I'm not exaggerating, either. Logical fallacies galore. Inability to ask the simple question "what if I am wrong?".
A dead Saudi Terrorist Mouthpiece/"Journalist' is not an American problem. Neither is it a signal that The Rapture is about to begin, or that Earth is about to be invaded by little gray men, or an indication that a clandestine council of Jooooos is meeting anonymously in a vast underground lair at the base of a dormant volcano to plot the destruction of the non-Jooooooos so they can take our wimmenfolk, money and blood to bake their Passover matzohs.
Empiricism is a real thing. Not something to be casually discarded when it becomes inconvenient.
The endurance of the recycled memes upon which these theories are based is astonishing.
The charge that wars are started so that someone can become rich goes back to Ancient Greece (see: Thucydides, Alcibiades). It was a common charge made in the Roman Senate against renegade generals and Emperors. It became the boilerplate of the American isolationists of the 20th century (War profiteers! The Military-Industrial Complex!), and has been recycled by every anti-war movement since. The fact that there are other -- more reliable, easier, less-inherently-risky and destructive, that won't create unforeseen social, economic and political problems -- ways to get rich than starting unpredictable wars that require elaborate ruses to hide their true intent, kill many people, destroy property and infrastructure that has to be replaced, is never even considered.
The "False Flag" is a time-honored meme, as well. The Greeks romanticized it; their history of warfare is replete with tales of double-agents, spies, subterfuge (I mean, Jesus...has no one read The Odyssey or Virgil, for fuck's sake? ). The British Empire was especially adept at the use of double-agents, commandos, and false information in two world wars. Ian Fleming was a master at it and his James Bond was modeled partly upon his own World War II exploits as a spymaster, both real and imagined, and the real exploits of a Serbian double-agent named Dusko Popov during World War II.
Conspirators meeting in secret rooms and passing secret messages to one another were a staple of Tudor England and Reformation/Inquisition Europe. The reign of Henry VIII, alone, has a list of conspiracies (many known to be false, even at the time) as long as your arm. The secrecy of the Vatican and it's occasional forays into politics all but invites speculation. It was also a favorite of the Nazis and Communists, the Anarchists, the Syndicalists, and Libertarians, the Ku Klux Klan, all political movements grounded firmly in the political Left, none of which could exist for as much as ten seconds without an existential enemy to demonize, to blame, to attribute bad intentions to.
The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is perhaps the greatest and most-enduring forgery of all time. It has it's genesis in an anti-Jewish czarist program of repression and political intrigue. The Jooooos as the world's greatest Evil is a relic of the Christianization of Europe and the formation of the nation-state which supported itself by taxation instead of by loan from the great banking families of old...who were largely Joooooos...persecuted not so much for their religion or culture but because they were owed vast sums of money by crowns all over Europe.
If you wish to get rid of an inconvenient debt without being called a deadbeat, just demonize your banker. The same thing happened in 2008.
Scientific Theory does not work without skepticism. Religion, by necessity, must insist on maintaining an air of mystery. Many systems or things we encounter in our everyday lives are complete enigmas to the average person: how does our system of economics work? Why does the government do X? How did someone build pyramids without modern machinery? Why do bad things happen?
The Conspiracy Theorist has no answers to these questions, or at least no answers that satisfy them, and if they cannot make sense of it all then there must be invisible forces at work and it must be deliberate (you know, like when God does it). They have to come to this conclusion, because the alternatives -- the discovery that sometimes "Shit Happens", or that one can make an effort to find information that isn't hatched by a pot-smoker in his mother's basement, that the simplest explanation is often the best and correct one, that human beings are imperfect and make mistakes -- frightens them.
The fact that many of them are walking around free, frightens me.
UPDATE: Fixed selling/grammar boo-boos. I have to get new glasses.