Monday, September 17, 2018

You All Suck (Example #24 -- Empire State Edition)

"Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting and you will find it easier to maintain control" -- Epictetus, The Art of Living"

Fuck that!

I have mentioned this before, and I will mention it again. The proliferation of bums -- vagrants, drunks, addicts, beggars, street people and transients -- in this city has reached a level never before seen by this Galactic Despot.

My neighbor has just knocked on my door this past hour, armed with a pistol, to inform me that someone has just ransacked his car and opened his garage door with the remote control that would have been inside, but which is now missing. He reckons the noise made by opening the door scared the would-be burglar off.

If it wasn't bad enough that I live in what was formerly an upper-middle-class neighborhood, fatally damaged by the opening of the local public housing unit to The Diversity (it used to be reserved for the elderly), I now have to deal with the rats The Diversity brought with them, the mentally-ill fucktard across the street collecting nomadic chickens that he does not care for and about which the local authorities will do nothing, an exploding deer population, flocks of incontinent wild turkeys, a family of raccoons having taken up residence beneath my shed, I now have to deal with the latest invasive species of the crackhead engaged in petty theft and burglary.

You cannot park in any of the local shopping centers around here without being accosted by at least a pair of these shitbirds begging for cigarettes, spare change or food. One of them has the audacity to come right out and ask for large bills and will routinely turn down food offered by suckers if it isn't Islamically-approved. Another, some time ago, going door-to-door ringing doorbells to see if there is an empty house to break into had the fucking nerve when I answered to demand $20.

He got a glimpse of the baseball bat I keep behind the door and fled.

I saw another, hanging around the local deli snatching food from the salad bar yesterday. When the store owner complained and started to turn him out, the rotten bastard spit in the food tray and then dug his hands into another. He then had the absolute cheek to demand that since now the food was contaminated, it should be given to him. He insisted he had a RIGHT to it now.

I did not stick around to see the aftermath.

It all combines to make civilized life in what was once a "bedroom community" with high real estate values, friendly neighbors, and a high level of security, unbearable.

I want my fellow New Yorkers (and everyone else in this country) to remember what I'm about to write here in a year when the biggest assholes on Planet Earth -- Governor Andrew Cuomo and Mayor Warren Wilhelm, Jnr, (aka Bill DiBlasio) decide they have what it takes and throw their hats into the ring to be President of the United States.

I'm going to tell you just what sort of governance you can expect from either one of the flaming piles of dog feces in the hope that some of it will stick and you will exercise some of the restraint the dead Greek quoted above was talking about at the voting booth.

Let's start with our communist and clueless mayor.

You should have known something was not right when the man operates under an assumed name. Most communists do (see: Lenin, Stalin, Ho Chi Minh). But no. In a city full of fuckwits a man who ran on a platform of free everything for everyone seemed like a good risk.

Here I must pause and thank the Rest of America for the phenomenon of Bill DiBlasio, and yes, it IS your fucking fault.

The clueless fucktards of Pig Fucker Holler, Ala., the unwashed hillbillies of Inbred Junction, Tenn., the broad-shouldered, child molesting townies of Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana, the phony cow towns of Montana and Idaho, the sexually-repressed-and-religiously-retarded denizens of every hamlet that resembles "The Deliverance", did New York City the greatest favor (and I mean this sarcastically) ever: you hounded your oddballs out of town. You made life for the gay, the different, the artistic, the misunderstood, the damaged, the lost, the hopeless so unbearable for these deplorables that they all migrated here. The Native New Yorker is becoming a thing of the past. Your human garbage arrived in such overwhelming numbers that the natives fled to the south and the west.

For all of you small town and small city cousin-fuckers now complaining about the influx of Northeasterners making your own lives a living hell in places like Charlotte or Nashville (where I have friends who complain the most) , you fucking deserve it. If you find life surrounded by pushy, always-in-a-hurry, rude, condescending former Bostonians, New Yorkers and Philadelphians a trial, then you have reaped little but what you have sown.

You sent us all the people YOU didn't want, after all. They came here believing they would could find "acceptance" in a big city where the local preacher didn't know everyone's business, where the football team would not beat the snot out of you on a daily basis for being a fag, where they could indulge their dreams of being a 7' tall Asian female giraffe free of judgement from the kind of people who consider roadkill one of the four basic food groups.

Every one of them dragging half a ton of emotional baggage and mental illness behind them.

They came here; they "transformed" our city from a place of business, with historical neighborhoods possessed of strong ethnic ties where families once lived for generations, into a place where any fucktard with a neckbeard, a heroin addiction, a hankering for bestiality, laboring under the impression that he's "special" and "entitled" because of how you rural assholes tormented him, so that he can live on welfare and "city services", openly defecate and urinate in the streets, use public internet access to surf porn in full view of the tourists, push anyone he doesn't like in front of a moving subway train, shoot up his drug of choice with both clean needles and in a "safe space" that city government has provided for him (with a full expectation that when he OD's the cops will be there with Nalaxone, so he can do it all over again tomorrow), so that they could be organized into a voting bloc by a guy who can't even tell the truth about his own name.

If middle America wants to know why it seems the Coastal folks despose your Dueling-Banjos-loving fucking guts, this is why: the coasts are now populated with your own rejects.  And they hate you.

If you wonder how it is that complete fucktards like an Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or a Julia Salazar (two more commies with invented pasts) can achieve things like winning elections and be taken seriously in public discourse, this is why. You've exported your waste, but only AFTER you gave them serious mental disorders with your Bible-Thumping and your Homecoming Dances ending with a trip to the Dairy Queen. They revile everything you stand for and have decided to turn this once-awesome city into Sodom-on-the-Hudson because they can't get even with you.

Thanks a lot.

And riding the crest of this wave of human diarrhea ejected from the collective anus of 'merica, is a jackass married to a woman who thinks she's the next Michelle Obama, who takes his bribes in the open, who waves his mulatto children in everyone's fucking face as if it were a sign of his overwhelming virtue, who has presided over the largest municipal collapse seen since Rome was sacked by the Goths in 410 A.D. , who has all the charm of a festering anal wart, all the personal skills of a Grand Inquisitor with a bad case of Jock Itch, who, on a good day, might remember he's mayor of this city when he isn't off in Iowa taking soundings or loitering in front of ICE detention centers in Texas making an utter fool of himself.

This is a man who handled our exploding deer population by handing out a contract (to campaign contributors) to capture and sterilize the bucks. The number of deer on this island (A FUCKING ISLAND!)-- which measures 12-miles-by-7-miles, and is transected by three major highways, doubled in less than six years, anyway. When faced by a "Homeless Crisis" created by pretentious, flannel-wearing, IPA-drinking nancy boys ejected from the bowels of Middle America gentrifying ghettos, saw the solution in turning four-star hotels into concentration camps at taxpayer expense. Faced with the problems of rising crime and filthy streets, his solution was to march with Black Lives Matter and order the cops to stop running people in for taking a shit in public.

Quite frankly, I wish the Goths were still around. I'd beg them to sack New York. It would be an improvement. If Attila the Hun were on the ballot for Mayor, I'd vote for him without hesitation.

And then we come to the rear section of the pantomime horse that makes up the ruling dyad of the Empire State. A man so venal that he doesn't even bother to hide the "For Sale" sign in front of the governor's mansion, so annoying that fleas will turn up noses rather than take a chance for a free meal, so amoral that Hitler would be a better role model for your children.

If you ever wanted an accurate image of what a pile of shit swarming with flies and maggots ever looked like, you could do worse than to stare at a photograph of Andrew Cuomo for fifteen minutes. That is, if you had fifteen minutes that weren't already full of Andrew Cuomo: he's on your television,on your radio station, in your newspaper, in your mailbox, in your bank account, and up your ass 24 hours a day.

A shameless self-promoter, there is nothing Cuomo won't do to get his face on television. If he thought it would get him a vote, he'd volunteer to be torn apart by wild dogs on TV; he'd pluck his own liver out for two favorable paragraphs in the Times; he'd cook and eat his own children in front of the television cameras.

It used to be said that the most dangerous place to be in America was between Senator Chuck Schumer (the other turd that fell from New York's ass) and a television camera, but Cuomo is infinitely worse. You get the impression that he would gladly knock an old woman down a flight of stairs in a rush to get his picture taken; he would fingerbang a hunchbacked nun in Times Square just to get attention. I'm surprised he hasn't been in any gay porn yet.

Possessed of a voice that is somewhere between Elmer Fudd and a dental drill, this shit-for-brains scion of someone only slightly smarter is what nightmares are made of.

If ever there was a walking advertisement for limited government, this is it, for two very important reasons:

a) We can't figure out what the fuck it is he actually DOES, although we can see that whatever it is he doesn't appear do it very well, and since the state hasn't broken off the continent and drifted into the Atlantic, maybe we don't need a governor, after all, and

b) The only things that you can count upon in New York are that your taxes will continue to go up (just got the reassessment for property taxes this weekend: up another $2,000 next year, and we're already paying more than 20k as it is), no one will be able to tell you where the money goes (I know! It's been put into the effort to airbrush history by renaming every roadway, tunnel, bridge, and sewer after failed democrats), your schools will get progressively worse, your roads will resemble those in Iraq, the crime rate will continue to climb, your city will become an open toilet, complete with all the vermin you can stand (but not kill, because the Animal Lover vote will get upset).

You can't even criticize Cuomo for anything he's done because no one is sure if he's done a damned thing. All you can say with certainty is "It ain't running a state".
His latest, greatest idea is to simply sue Donald Trump...for everything. It'll be lawsuits 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until November 2020.  And the truly sad part is, if you talk to anyone who knows anything about democratic party (small 'd' intentional) politics in this town, they'll tell you Cuomo is the best chance the D's have in 2020.

What a fucking idiot.

In the meantime, as much as I admire old Epictetus, I'm afraid I can no longer abide his sage advice. Perhaps it's time for the average citizen to do what his elected "leaders" won't, and start cracking fucking heads open.

Vagrants and drug addicts, beware.

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