A Majority of One (Notes from The Dungeon Edition)

"There is a good deal to be said for internment. It keeps you out of the saloon and helps you to keep up with your reading. The chief trouble is that it means you are away from home for a long time. When I join my wife I had better take along a letter of introduction to be on the safe side." -- P.G. Wodehouse, remarks on his internment by the Nazis.

Just some screaming from the fortified anti-COVID-19 bunker in my basement.

First issue is this article from today's New York Post, where New Yorkers, in the finest tradition, have finally had enough bullshit and begun to thumb their noses and wave their genitals at what passes for authority here in Sodom-On-Hudson.

What pisses me off about this particular article is not that people, with pent up energy and a sense of wanting life to return to normal, should break "quarantines" and party in the streets, but that the rebuttal to this perfectly human reaction to forced imprisonment should be delivered by a 72-year-old (most-likely "liberal") woman who believes that this has all really been about her, and others like her.

She believes that people behaving this way shows a blatant disregard for her welfare and well-being, and yet somehow misses the fact that she's outdoors in a public place enjoying an 80-degree extravaganza of a beautiful day as well.

Everyone should sacrifice on her behalf.

I am often accused (and rightfully so) of being evil to "the Elderly". For clarification purposes, I do not dislike people just because they're old; I dislike them because they have an entitlement streak sixty miles wide and fifty feet deep that goes with a streak of Asshole of Cosmic Proportions.

Especially the ones we call Baby Boomers, who should all be taken out and shot on general principles, because experience has taught us they're never right about anything (they have never been right about anything) and they are generally responsible for the shitty current state of our nation and society.

Because Drugs, Woodstock, and Dumbfuck.

And then they have the nerve to demand to be taken care of forever in a Brave New World of a-pill-for-everything, continuous erections, lush, non-crusty vaginas that are way past their sell-by date, living the dream life in that vineyard they all want to retire to (to judge from the commercials regarding Alzheimer's medications which feature freeze-dried and surgically-enhanced Baby Boomers all mountain biking in very tight Spandex) and to have someone else pay the price for it all.

In this case, the youngins should have to hunker down in the Oubliette of Batvirus so that Old-Lady-on-a-Park-Bench doesn't get Miss Rona and drown in her own fluids after a heroic, but ultimately futile (and expensive to the taxpayer), medical effort.

And so that the State doesn't get to collect thirty-one grand for keeping her on life support until either the vultures or ravages of time conspire to dispose of the desiccated husk.

She could have stayed indoors, herself, and avoided catching the Chinese Wheeze. But that would have entailed a sense of self-preservation (she expects that from Social Security and Medicare, you see), some personal responsibility (no one who came of age in the 1960's knows what this is), and a sense of something bigger than or just-as-important as herself (they're called the "Me Generation" for a reason, you know).

And if you disagree with me, I would remind you of the following: Baby Boomers are running this shitshow -- Trump, Pelosi, Schumer, Cuomo, Fauci, Brix, DeBlasio, Newsome, Murphy, every two-bit douchebag "expert" with an obscure degree from the Ivy League (who turns out to know nothing) -- and if you believe they're all doing the right things, performing at a very high level, and have been effective in the face of a "pandemic" that 98% will survive without medical intervention, then you're a fucking idiot, and need to be taken out and sterilized with a rusty farm implement.

After all, these are the same people who "Spoke Truth to Power" (until they became Power, and then Truth was no longer important), who believed they ended a War by getting high and rioting in the streets, who then went on to invent AIDS, make Hepatitis a feature of modern society, bring us Feminism, destroy the nuclear family, spend the nation into bankruptcy and give mortgages to deadbeats by the millions, and never take or admit responsibility for any of the --predictable -- bad outcomes.

They've now held an entire population hostage, wrecked a booming economy, and do nothing but argue about what they pretend to believe someone said out-of-context, when they aren't polluting the airwaves with absolute bullshit, and expect to be respected and obeyed.

Assholes, every last one.

So, my final word on the issue of Old People is this: if you can survive after you leave the workforce on your own money, then by all means, live as long as you'd like and you have my blessings. If your only motivation to continue breathing is to be kept alive by the forced extraction of wealth from others, then have the common courtesy to either be grateful and don't bite the hand that (literally) feeds you -- so shut the fuck up -- or  have the decency to do what Nature intended and fucking die, already -- it's why you got to be Old People in the first place --  but spare us your self-centered, non-self-aware sanctimony, before all else.

Next item on the agenda, the Perpetually Offended.

This outburst was provoked by this little drop of super-concentrated fucktard:

Their Happiness Hurt My Feelings.

The time has long since passed where society should continue to tolerate such emotionally-fragile and self-absorbed dimwits. These are people who can do nothing except continuously dwell upon what they do not have (usually for lack of effort), and who expect to have their vomitous mass of childish feelz continuously soothed, validated, and applauded. As if doing so -- being infantilized --  is an adequate and just compensation for being a mentally-ill, hot mess of useless pain in the ass?

"At-least-I-can-make-others-feel-as-sorry-for-me-as-I-do" is not a great strategy for a happier life. Continuously behaving as if you have the right to shit all over others as a means of assuaging your own lack of self-esteem or as a means of avoiding the reality that you're just not a very good person, is a tremendous waste of time and energy that could be redirected into unfucking your fucked-up existence, if only you had the motivation.

It's manipulation and narcissism taken to their ultimate extent and now serves as a form of extortion, and quite frankly, it is time it ended.

My suggestion on how to combat this is that we provide the motivation you so surely lack by the application of frequent physical beatings. This form of negative reinforcement does, indeed, work, when you stop to consider that even your dog stops pissing on the carpet if you shove his nose into the wet spot often enough -- and he doesn't even speak English.

Just to help you out, My Minions, I have collected and will recite the list of character and physical traits this sort of annoying douchebag has, so that you may recognize them when you see them, and either go out of your way to make them happy by making them more miserable, or ignore them entirely, which pisses them off even more.

* Most will be female, or vaguely so. If (at least biologically) male, they will typically be very effeminate.

* They will have all the accouterments of "education", a survey degree in a non-subject, ability to cite 'studies' by rote, the skill to seemingly pull random quotes from other obscure non-entities from thin air, usually out-of-context, but none of the substance of true higher learning.

* All conversations will eventually become about them, their feelings (especially anger, jealousy and anxiety) and their status.

* They are incapable of humor. Unless it is a straight , white, Christian, conservative male depicted in a victim role. Then it is hysterical.

* They will have a strange gait, due to the permanently clenched state of their sphincters. Many will have actual objects permanently lodged in their rectums. In some cases, that object may have once been a living thing.

* They will adopt a comically-pecksniffian air of condescending passive-aggressive at all times.

* They will never let you finish a sentence before registering a complaint or correction. They assume this is their full-time job. They will often suggest you replace words in your statements as a supposed moral teaching tool (i.e. "replace 'Jew' with 'Black' and see if it's still funny, Buster!")

* The nature of the complaint will always be ridiculous, minor, and the reaction to the (assumed) offense will always be exponentially out-of-proportion to it's actual importance. They go from "Zero" to "Atomic Bomb" in less than three seconds, no matter what the subject,what the activity.

* They wear a permanent sneer because the occasional smile is an indication they have forgotten to wallow in their own self-pity for a second. In many examples, this defensive sensitivity is little more than a deliberately-assumed affectation adopted as a means of acquiring unearned privileges, and the smile is the dead giveaway.

* They display, at all times, a deep-seeded and unrestrained hatred and contempt for humanity, which they insist is a virtuous reflection of their own morally-unassailable humanism.

* They automatically assume they hold the moral high ground, without having done or said anything to establish this fact.

* They are bottomless pits of absolute SUCK.

If you encounter one of these bedwetting little nosepickers, punch them in the throat.