"Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars..." -- Casey Kassem, American Radio Host and voice of "Shaggy" from Scooby-Doo.
(Note: This is the third time I've tried to write/post this today. Blogger -- owned by Google -- has eaten it. Twice. I mean, like it vanished into the stratosphere, as if I never typed it. Not even an autosaved copy. Given the recent spate of blatant censorship of anything remotely critical of a democrat by Big Tech recently, I'm suspicious).
I'm thinking we need to revamp this award. Because something impossible has happened, and a "Douchebag of the Decade" award is now necessary.
Andrew Cuomo has won this award now for the third time.
He's the Michael Phelps of Douchedom.
The only person in the world who sucks harder than Andrew Cuomo is Kamala Harris.
(Previous awards are Here and Here)
You can be forgiven if, due to the strains and pre-occupations imposed by democratic (small 'd' intentional) party House Arrest, if you've missed this little tidbit of information:
Andrew Cuomo has written a book, entitled "New York Tough", an epic tale of his courageous and successful battle against COVID-19. I didn't know he could read or write, at all. Surely, it will become a timeless classic, ranking right up there with "A Tale of Two Cities", "Don Quixote", and the The Bible.
I would make a "Moby Dick" reference/joke here, but it's Cuomo, so it seems superfluous.
So, here we are, entering the winter of our discontent (see what I did there?): New York City is shut down. People are losing their jobs. The streets are full of rioting children, the vanguard of leftist fascism who believe that resisting arrest is now a Human Right, or that everything in their lives should be provided "for free" by someone else. We live under the supposed threat of Worker's Influeza, which has (according to "official" figures) killed 33,000 New Yorkers, some 6,600 of them in Nursing Homes, alone, where a state mandate to fix a bureaucratic metric became a death sentence.
And as for that bureraucratic metric, the so-called "flatten the curve" nonsense, it refers to how many intensive care beds are in use (not as a measure of success in combating the disease). That was supposed to come to an end after two weeks...eight months ago.
Between begging for "ventilators" (that turned out not to be necessary) and blaming Trump for the virus and threatening to arrest and imprison curfew violators and mask-deniers for minor violations (while simultaneously emptying the prisons) and threatening to sue China, and maybe even COVID, itself, and sending the State Police and National Guard into functioning private hospitals to steal equipment to support the failing public ones (the ones that remained open after Cuomo's Medicaid cuts, that is), somehow this fucking piece of snail shit had time to write a fucking book?
As if he's performed some kind of miracle? As if Andrew Cuomo, with all his press conferences and threats of lawsuits and finger-pointing has somehow managed to defeat Death? 33,000 bodies say otherwise --- and today we learn that the numbers are surging again.
But that has nothing to do with the rioters in streets, the fascists running wild, or the stupid idea that by just following Andy's diktat to both the letter and spirit -- and if we vote for more of the same next week -- we can bring this overblown, completely-manufactured "crisis" to a swift and successful conclusion.
If you've believed any of this during the last eight months of voluntary house arrest and 24/7 media scaremongering, you're a fucking idiot.
Rest assured: if in the last decade you find yourself under lockdown, your house under water, your hospitals underfunded, or your parents six feet under, Andrew Cuomo calls it "leadership" and he's underappreciated. If it all went wrong it's only because he did not sue someone or make enough appearances on his brother's TV show to take victory laps for abject fails.
Papa would be so proud, if he wasn't burning in Hell right now.
The destruction of our civil liberties in this time of false paranoia is the most-egregious abuse, in my mind, however.
We have lost the right to assemble in our churches, workplaces and public spaces (unless we're a democratic party constituency bent on spreading disorder and chaos as an election tactic); we have lost the ability to freely travel; we are assaulted on an almost daily basis by a variety of Karens -- unempowered fucktards who believe they have the right to examine your activities, friendships, beliefs and opinions, complete with the total destruction of common decency -- and pass judgement upon you, because they are at the forefront of the mob. They, too, are Andrew's creations, although to be fair, he's had plenty of help from the Rogues Gallery of New York Politics (more on this collection of parasites in a moment).
When even Muslims complain that you're an excessively anti-Semetic character, you know you've stepped into tyrant territory.
As to the Blockhead Brigade who have aided and abetted Dear Leader in this quest to turn New York City into Mogadishu-on-the-Hudson, there has never been a collection of such dim-witted petty dictators to rise from the fevered swamps of the leftist peanut gallery in history, and all of them have had a hand in what has befallen all of us -- regardless of where we live -- when it comes to COVID and it's aftermath.
Cuomo, like the rest of them, is merely one of the visible boils that signals the presence of the OTHER disease.
That is to say, Dumbfuck.
I want you to think very carefully about what I'm about to write: if you're wearing a mask, bathing in hand santizer thrice daily, wondering how you will pay the rent, or where your next meal is coming from, this disaster was deliberately engineered. The democratic (small 'd' intentional) party platform of the last 30 years has played an important, perhaps seminal, role in what has transpired in 2020.
As briefly as I can describe it: the American Left has been devoted to a program of Diversity for it's own sake (and for the sake of using it as a means of divide and conquer politics), Open Borders, and some form of overweening government control over the American healthcare system.
If you live in New York, Seattle, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and many of the other major cities of America designated as "hot spots", and ALL run by the left, here is the outcome:
The Diversity crossed the Open Borders, made many of us sick with an illness that can kill, and then overwhelmed the government-run healthcare system, from local, city-run hospitals all the way to the federal health bureaucracies, which issue contradictory edicts on a daily basis under the auspices of "authority" and "expertise".
If there are 200,000 now-dead Americans it is in large part because governmernt-run healthcare doesn't work, our Border controls are lax or ineffective when it comes to screening for deadly pathogens (because we wouldn't want to single any group of Diversity out for "backlash") and here in New York because the hospitals that failed were innundated with Mediare and Medicaid patients (rationed health care provided by the State) and Illegal Aliens (protected by local Leftist governments).
In other words, the Leftist Dream leads to COVID-19, shutdowns, curfews, shortages of consumer goods, unemployment, civic disorder, street violence, and unemployment on a national scale.
And they want to continue this series of devastating failure and so must hide their direct responsibility and destructive policies, so that if you're unemployed right now, your kids are missing school, you're living on a steady diet of fast food delivered by Door Dash and Uber drivers, or you were shipped from your Nursing Home to a hospital to be infected and returned just so that you could infect others to meet a slogan-ready bureaucratic metric (reiteration: "flatten the curve" means "lower the number of ICU beds in use", not "cure Coronavirus", you moron), your suffering is necessary to prevent you from noticing just how it was that we got here.
Andrew Cuomo is the poster child for this incompetence and dishonesty. He has a lot of partners in crime from a state that has, in my opinion, hands-down THE WORST POLITICAL LEADERSHIP this side of a bananna republic.
There is Bill DiBlasio (aka Red Billy, or Comrade Warren) who, on a good day, might be able to wipe his own ass without assistance. He has questions to answer, as well, like what happened to $2 billion in mental health funds that you gave to your wife to hire no one, buy office furniture, and run for Borough President of Brooklyn one day that might have come in handy in the last eight months?
There is Chuck ("The Schmuck") Schumer, who is a deadly virus all on his own. Never mind COVID, get me a vaccine against this piece of shit. As one of the "leaders" of the "resistance" to the president, and also as one of his chief inquisitors, Schumer is an ineffectual doofus who has been instrumental in blocking aid to Corona victims, promoting false narratives about "science", and creating destitution in ordert to drum up votes for a party and a candidate who are both good candidates for some of that life support that Cuomo needed "30,000 ventilators" for. This man belongs in the Museum of Natural History with the rest of the dinosaurs.
Then there's Alexandria Ocascio-Cortez, the Queen of Dumbfuck, herself. One of the "leaders" of the Mob that now controls the political left, an original thought and a cold drink of water might actually KILL her. She is completely ignorant...of everything...and is the prime example of a distasteful quality among today's Snowflake elite. I refer to it as "Smugnorance"; the ability to be completely wrong, to be lacking in facts, displaying a child-like cluenessness while pretending to be an adult, or lacking in something intelligent to say, and to simultaneously be self-righteous, almost comfortably pious, in your idiocy. This fool sits on the sidlines, with her fake boriqua bona fides (yes, lots of barrio Puerto Ricans in Westchester county!), and cheers on the violent, the stupid, the racist, and the selfish and attributes those disgusting qualities to her opponents. Who are all jealous of her, you know.
There's our other Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, the Stepford Wife of Fuckwit, whose only ability appears to be doing whatever Chuck Schumer tells her to. A champion of Open Borders and Government-run Healthcare, currently engaged in an internecine battle with Cuomo on the proposed $2 trillion Coronavirus Relief Bill, which Andy doesn't like because it leaves him little opportunity for graft and unable to plug the budget holes he's created (by buying votes) with federal money. Her response, to date, has been (paraphrased) "Don't worry, we'll steal more money later".
There's Congresscritter Grace Meng, whose only contribution through this entire farce has been to lobby aggressively for more healthcare funding and financial support for (illegal) immigrants...not citizens. The hardest-hit area of New York City was a section of Queerns surrounded by neighborhoods named "Chinatown"and "Koreatown" (countries where Coronaviruses originate and are endemic). Elmhurst Hospital (city-run) was singled out nationally as the biggest disaster in America in terms of coronavirus response, complete with images of refrigerated morgue trucks with bodies stacked inside.
Yvette Clarke is an interesting (not really) figure in all of this. At a time when people are dying, African-Americans are rampaging in the streets demanding that resisting arrest be added to the list of Civil Rights that black people seem to have more of than anyone else, she's been spending her time ensuring that free WiFi is available at public kiosks which are prime targets of the destructive Mob and which might be more-useful in spreading COVID. Priorities, indeed.
And lording over all of this, like a foul smell, is the Dowager Douchebag of Chappaqua, her nominal horndog (alleged pedo) husband, and her kid -- who is so ugly that oral sex with her counts as anal -- who keep chiming in with their diseased two cents every so often on the assumption that they're still somehow vital to the health of the republic and not going to jail anytime soon.
Before I wrap this up, and with the upcoming election in mind, I want to write something of a lament for the New York City (and State) that has been lost.
I am a native New Yorker. We are a vanishing breed. I was born on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, raised in Brooklyn and Staten Island, and I have lived here for all but about 18 months of my entire 53 years and six months. I have lived through a city in Bankruptcy. I have survived transit and sanitation strikes, Mafia street wars, the Summer of Sam, blackouts, blizzards, hurricanes, and (literally) the horror of September 11th.
I have been mugged at knifepoint on the street as a child: I have been robbed at gunpoint as an adult. I have seen Times Square come full circle from open sewer of filth, drugs, sex and crime, to wholly-owned subsidiary of Walt Disney, and it's return to Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell.
I have managed to keep my sanity despite decades of failure by the Mets and Jets, and know in my heart that last Rangers' Stanley Cup was won by the Edmonton Oilers in disguise.
I have never lost my love for, or my faith in, this city, until now.
This used to be a vibrant city. Full of life and energy, even at it's worst, where people did Big Things, and thought Big Ideas. It was the very pulse of the nation that shrugged off adversity and got back to the business of DOING, of being The Very Best.
It is now a blasted heath of battalions of vermin -- both furry and human -- where the streets that were once metaphorically paved with gold are now buried under the excrement of the homeless. Broad-shouldered high-steel workers, firemen and dockworkers have been replaced by emaciated, effeminate assholes with manbuns playing Tour de France on pansy bicycles in neon spandex and their adenoidal, thyroid-challenged mates in overalls and Birkenstocks, all vomiting forth a combination of passive-aggressive, false virtue and moron that is the hallmark of the self-selected Elitist of No Accomplishment. Cuomo is their svengali.
This new and more-obnoxious political left, of which Andrew Cuomo is mererly the most-prominent hemmorhoid, is expensive, disturbing, frightening, and now, it has turned from merely annoying ideological opponent to deadly plague of locusts...and lazy locusts, at that: they want the wheat brought to them in a limosuine. They have followed Orwell's script to the nth degree.
The landmarks have all been renamed in "honor" of dead, failed democrats.
Failure is presented as victory.
Truth is subjective, and conditioned by immediate needs of government.
Demographics -- the arrival of every fucktard liberal ejected from the Midwest and the Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe Welfare -- have conspired to turn this once-proud jewel of civilization into Eu Claire with five-star restaurants, Des Moines without the barnyard aroma, Afghanistan with Toilets, Soweto with Subways, Tegulcigalpa with more rats than you've ever seen in your life, an almost-parodic version of all those "Save the Children" commercials begging you for money to feed children their own parents can't, juxtaposed against rows of luxury condominiums and co-ops in newly-gentrified ghettos.
The only lights that still shine bright in this town are the ones we trot out every September 11th as a memorial to the fallen, and the ones that hang from faux-marble and gold-tinted plastic highrise monstrosities blaring "Trump" in gaudy neon.
In a way, this is highly symbolic of what we're facing right now.
Our Leftist "Leaders" all have several things in common:
* They are all obviously, demonstrably incompetent. And proud of it. In fact, being an unmitigated fuckup seems to be a qualification for higher office in New York State. AOC is a fuckup. Schumer is a fuckup. Andrew Cuomo is a crown prince of fuckup; a failed Secretary of Housing who left office one step ahead of a criminal indictment, a state Attorney General who had to be reprimanded by Eliot Goddamned Spitzer for abuse of power. This guy is an incessant drumbeater and turd-polisher who might not be able to tie his own shoelaces, and the terribly frightening part is that he's still judged by some to have Presidential prospects.
* They lie incessantly. Even when there is no need to do so. A good example is Congressman Max Rose, who led a "Defund the Police" march, and then runs TV commercials in which he plays games with the truth. While he DID in fact lead the march, he doesn't really MEAN it, you see. Why, his re-election talking point is that he "never voted to defund the police", which is rich, since as a Congressman, he has no say on how the NYPD is funded and to what extent, so he can be on both sides of the issue -- I support cops, see? I didn't defund them, and I support violent degenerates who think they have the right to be criminals, free from the threat of arrest. That's just slick virtue signalling. Cuomo, by comparison, lies by both commission and omission -- he's selling a book touting his successes which don't exist, and which he cannot list, and he also tells you his objective failures are always someone else's fault. He's never in the room when a mistake is made. They lie as easily as you breathe.
* They are all -- every last one -- venal, self-absorbed people who do not give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about "public service". They don't care about your life. They haven't a second's thought for Doing the Right Thing. Their days and nights are consumed with the quest for power, which they define as the ability to direct and mold the thoughts, actions, activities, ideas and lifestyles of millions of people according to their tastes and stupidity, both against the people's will and at the people's expense. Each rung up the ladder is an increase in power and access to a new array of vaster, ever-more-subtle tools for acquiring and abusing power. They don't care what they have to say to get it; they don't care who they have to abandon to do same. Now, it seems they don't even care who they have to kill. Everyone is a pawn in a greater game they are playing where the Grand Prize is self-aggrandizement, employment for life, and escape from ultimate responsibility for failure or criminal action.
They can get away with this, I reckon, based on a very simple explanation I've developed over the years.
* 1/3 of the left is too young to know much of anything and incapable of seeing things in any form of context. They lack knowledge, experience and perspective. They are attracted by the shiny object and moved by the momentary trends of popularity. These people are literally too stupid to be allowed to vote.
* 1/3 of the Left is too old to remember much of anything (like voting nine times without leaving the home), dependent upon Social Security and Medicare, and is joined in dependence by the Welfare Set, and so all are slaves of government. Ideas, value judgments on right or wrong, lies versus truth, don't matter to them; they don't give a fuck as long as the check arrives on time and with a few extra bucks in it. They'd vote to stab themselves in their own anuses if it promised to result in more cash or benefits. These are parasites.
* 1/3 of the Left is relying on government to present them with a privilege or special status that they can't get anywhere else, or by other means, and so "democrat" (any "democrat") is the only vehicle to get them there, so they don't give a damn if the guy they voted for is a turd. His character is unimportant -- they'd vote for Satan, Attilla the Hun, or Pol Pot, if it advanced "The Cause", meaning really "My Cause" -- and so notions of propriety, honesty and integrity don't matter to them at all.
The result is being played out in American Cities in the form of riots, open thuggery, looting, and death from the fucking flu.
Andrew Cuomo is claiming victory over all of this. In fact, he's claiming to be the architecht of all this winning. The man has no sense of self-awareness, no sense of common decency. He's a shameless self-promoter who has only disgrace and bullshit to sell you. He has no fucking class, and the only true gift he has is a reverse Midas touch -- the ability to turn the gold he inherited into shit.
He is holding himself out as a paragon, a hero, writing himself a book while he sent thousands to their deaths, as if he is a veritable Lancelot of Lung AIDS. A Beowulf of The Bejing Blech. The Pocahontas of Panda Pox, The Hercules of Hong Kong Fluey. A Gilgamesh of General Tso's Sicken. A Moses of Mao's Revenge, leading us all through the desert of pandemic until we reach The Promised Land of A New Soviet Union.
It's nothing more than the mastubutory self-congratulations of THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE.
And so, to end this little exercise in (self-)celebration, let's go whole hog and hand Andrew his well-deserved third honor in the annals of Douchebag. In this particular case, we've failed to sand down all the sharp edges and left the manufacturing defects in place just so the Governor will know the exquisite pain and discomfort we've all felt as we shove it where it will do the most good, in emulation of the continuous ass rape he's visited upon all of us.