"The first thing we do, lets kill all the lawyers." -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
There are certain people one encounters in Life that one reckons deserve to have their picture set beside the definition of a vulgar or unflattering word in a dictionary. Mostly because they exemplify the spirit and definition of said word, but also because their reputation is such that one might even argue they are the inspiration for it.
Even retroactively.
Just imagine you are the person who makes the decision as to whether a picture belongs next to a word in the dictionary. Would you be terribly out of sorts, perhaps worried that the association might be unfair or untrue if, say, you needed to make a decision on whether it is fitting if Hillary Clinton's name should appear next to the entry on "Criminal"?
Andrew Cuomo next to "Turd"?
Alexandria Ocascio-Cortez beside "Dingbat"?
Maxine Waters set adjacent to "Primate"?
Al Sharpton contiguous with "Charlatan"?
John McCain coterminous with "Fucktard"?
You can almost see what I'm talking about; these people are often the very exemplification of the associated word.
Alas, I've checked Mirriam-Websters and the Oxford English Dictionary and could not find the definition of the word "Crapweasel", and therefore, there is no stipple portrait of the man who exemplifies the word itself.
That would be Lanny Davis, former Clinton fixer, lawyer and late defense counsel for a man who who apparently got no defense and very little counsel.
The Urban Dictionary defines "Crapweasel", among it's many definitions, in the following manner:
"Someone who tries to pass blame onto others".
Congratulations, Michael Cohen. Your lawyer is a Crapweasel; you have been prosecuted in the hope that enough legal and financial pressure would cause you to "flip" on President Trump (if you had anything on him) or perhaps to just produce a lie out of your ass in order to avoid jail time.
Alongside you the entire time was one Lanny Davis, the man who defended Billyjeff Bentpenis and His Trained Succubus during the most notorious blowjob in history, an impeachment, and a hundred other issues in between, and since.
And just as William Jefferson Cumshot did -- only at the very last possible moment to avoid a perjury conviction -- you've copped a plea to avoid jail (except Billy was guilty as hell), and to a bunch of stuff that ultimately has nothing to do with anything Special Inquisitor Mueller is looking for.
That would be "Russians", "Collusion" and "Campaign Finance Violations".
All Mueller has done is to spend $20 million bucks to find out who paid the hookers and he didn't even manage that much.
In fact, if Cohen is the "smoking gun" against Trump, then why did Mueller farm the prosecution out to the Southern District of New York? Probably because he knew there would be no "there" there, and he had nothing else, but the state of New York might find something?
You would think that if Cohen was central to his case of proving foreign collusion, that he'd (Mueller) want to prosecute himself, no? So, how important was Cohen, anyway? Can you say "show trial"?
But still, under the advice of your Crapweasel, Cohen, you took a plea, anyway?
For a guy who is supposed to be a sharp operator, Mr. Cohen, you did something spectacularly stupid the day you hired Lanny "It's just about sex" Davis.
Which leads me to an awful lot of other questions.
If the purpose of the Mueller Potemkin Trials is to uncover evidence of foreign interference that adversely affected Hillary Clinton's ability to win an election, why is Hillary Clinton's personal lawyer allowed to represent you? Especially since he's represented her for years? Is this NOT the very definition of a Conflict of Interest?
What asshole of a judge, (most likely, a partisan hack who didn't care), did not notice the association between Davis and Her Heinous on a case connected with suspected election fraud and demand Davis recuse himself?
What kind of a jerk are you, Mr. Cohen, that you took legal advice from a Clinton Operative? Did you honestly believe that a man who has shilled for two of the most vile people this side of Stalin for decades could leave that long association behind and objectively defend your rights and give objective advice?
And just who is the Personification of Crapweasel? What sort of person is he? I mean, other than what we all already know, vis-a-vis the Clinton Crime Syndicate?
Well, Mr. Davis is a well-known lobbyist (so, you reckon he's probably tried to influence an election or two in his time, no?).
He has lobbied on behalf of Pakistan, probably an indication that, like Billy, he'll hop into bed with anyone. Pakistan is the piece of shit that fell from India's ass, and despite the diplomatic need to present that God-forsaken country as an "ally", it is no such thing.
Recently, it turns out that Mr. Davis' reason for getting Cohen to cop a plea -- that he can provide evidence against Trump in the form of a recording -- in return for leniency might be a great, big, lie.
If you're not familiar with this sordid tale, it goes something like this (and the story has changed so much, so quickly, this might not even be totally accurate):
CNN (assuming THEY can be believed) claims that Lanny Davis was a primary source on a story it ran indicating that Michael Cohen had definitive -- as in recorded -- evidence of Donald Trump being told a meeting was being arranged between his campaign and "A Russian" peddling a dossier of dirt on Hillary Clinton.
Let's put aside for a moment the KNOWN FACT that the Hillary Campaign was peddling the infamous "Steele Dossier" on Trump, which has to date been proven to be little more than a series of fabrications and, allegedly, a deliberate attempt by the FBI to plant evidence on Trump. We know Hillary's campaign paid for the dossier, they tried to hide the payment by washing it through a bunch of lawyers and "consultants", and then the FBI -- who used Steele as an intelligence source, despite concerns about his reliability -- ran with it and got FISA warrants for wiretaps and spies.
Seeing as how many of the key players in this total clusterfuck were associated with the Hillary Campaign, the complaint from Clintonland that gathering "dirt" on a political opponent is somehow unbecoming and beyond the pale, is fucking laughable.
These are the people who publicly destroyed rape victims, after all.
Anyway, CNN reports that Cohen is copping a plea, and part of his plea arrangement is to release this recording. It (the CNN report) cites Davis as a source.
Davis then later claims he told CNN no such thing.
But CNN is adamant that he did.
And here we take another detour through the minefield; if Davis put it out there that his client has evidence and used it to arrange a plea bargain, but then claims he didn't, is the plea valid? Has Justice really been served? Or is it a case where a lawyer lied, not just to the press, but to a JUDGE and PROSECUTORS, either by omission or commission, of not only the existence of this evidence, but in his role as an officer of the court with a duty to defend a client to the best of his ability?
Considering what we already know about Hillary's people in the FBI KNOWINGLY planting false news stories which were then used as evidence to illegally obtain FISA warrants to spy upon a Presidential Campaign, how can anyone tell where this practice begins and where it ends? Is this another attempt to just muddy the waters in order to keep the issue alive, seeing as there is a dearth of actual evidence and prosecutable crimes (except those committed by the government officials involved)?
I'm not a layer, thankfully, and don't have to answer those questions. I just think it all stinks on ice.
And herein lay the problem with America.
It's Elites believe they are above the law, even those who take oaths to serve Justice as either prosecutor or defense attorney. We have seen the depths which they will plumb: lying, manufacturing evidence, using uncorroborated sources, leaking documents and fake stories to the Press, denying their involvement even when their fingerprints are found upon the murder weapon.
They blatantly lie. They cheat at every opportunity. They show no compunction about committing crimes of their own in order to railroad others they accuse of worse crimes on fabricated evidence.
When the evidence we get (as the public) shakes out, we discover that not only are these petty, dishonest, venal, evil people, they're also not very good at what they do.
We must have the most un-Elite Elites the world has ever seen, and yet they are all under the mistaken impression that, without them, we'd all be wandering around picking our noses and scratching our asses, that America would literally disintegrate in an instant if they weren't here to do everything for us and tell us how to think and live. In return, they expect to be applauded and rewarded for being the criminals and dumbasses they are.
Crapweasels, the whole lot.
So, let us reiterate in terms relating directly to Mr. Davis:
The Clinton Consigliere represents one of Mueller's sacrificial lambs in an attempt to prove a negative -- that Hillary didn't lose an election because she's the worst human being to ever plague this Solar System.
He talks the Sacrificial Lamb into accepting a plea bargain which makes him look guilty (of the false "Russian Collusion" charges), when by all objective evidence, Mueller's henchmen in the SDNY didn't even attempt to make their case on the underlying charge (i.e. that Stormy Daniels and Karen MacDougal were paid from funds taken from the Trump Campaign).
So far as I can determine they didn't even ask the fundamental question "Where did the money come from?".
Davis then claims he told everyone, including CNN, that his client has bombshell evidence and then recants his tale. This is after he made the claim in other media sources and walked those back, too.
CNN says that not only was Davis a primary source for their story, but intimates that he is quite possibly the ONLY one.
If you're Michael Cohen today, you've just been steamrolled by The Swamp and The Clinton Machine, simultaneously.
What does this do to your plea bargain now? What does this do to your standing as a witness for or against Trump in future? Have you now been publicly and politically ruined, possibly professionally, too, for all time?
And who orchestrated it all? Your own fucking lawyer.
Yes, "Crapweasel" fits nicely, since Mr. Cohen will now take a fall in the ever-continuing CYA operation that is Clintonista politics.
But "Crapweasel"is insufficient to describe Lanny's role in all of this.
So, let's just add "Douchebag" to the list of adjectives. So far as I know, it should be a very rare honor, indeed, to have your picture next to TWO derogatory terms in any future dictionary.
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