"Do not mistake activity for accomplishment" -- John Wooden.
A week of "tragedy".
Another school shooting, this time in Santa Fe, Texas.
A deadly school bus collision with a dump truck in New Jersey.
Andrew Cuomo took his head out of his ass long enough to say something stupid. Again.
You wonder how we manage to survive as a species.
These events, taken as individual occurrences, are terrible. Bound together by their proximity in time and the common thread of fucktard that runs through them, and they indicate a society that is becoming too sick to continue.
What is this common thread of fucktard, you ask?
The Press Conference that follows them all just as assuredly, and predictably, as 100 follows 99.
Something terrible has happened. The televisions are abuzz with the initial reports of ...something. No one is quite sure what is happening, but everyone is sure enough to speculate, live, as the event happens, in living color, only to be completely wrong. If ambulances and police officers arrived at a school under assault as quickly as the news vans and helicopters do, countless lives would be saved. If those who job it is to be right about public safety were as consistently and unerringly wrong as the television anchors and "experts" hurriedly called up to give expertly incorrect wild-ass guesses to events they aren't experiencing, then there'd never be another of these school shootings.
But it's the Press Conference in the aftermath of the event that produces the most sadness.
This is when the venal and the incompetent come out to slap each other on the back, and to reassure the public that while they may have not a fucking clue as to what is going on, what has happened, what will happen, and why it all happened, they're on top of this tragedy shit like a teenager on his date, post-prom.
So there was Phil Murphy, Governor of New Jersey and living testament to the idea that Ireland is Europe's genetic equivalent of a trailer park, or a Bowl of Sea Monkeys, praising the First Responders. And then introducing the Executive of Ball Scratcher County, New Jersey (a former First Responder, himself) , and repeating the process for the Mayor of Ass Pimple, New Jersey -- where the accident took place and, wouldn't you know it?, he's another former First Responder, before introducing yet another slew of former First Responders all repeating the phrase "First Responders" to preempt Judge Judy in order to tell you they don't know a fucking thing about this accident, except where the First Responders who responded first sent the bodies. Presumably because it's important for the public to know that a lot of former First Responders who became politicians were standing at this podium with no information to give out under the illusion of informing the public, and in so doing, became Last Responders of the most banal and useless sort.
If one were given to cynicism, one might be forgiven for believing the purpose of holding a press conference in which no useful information, data the public desperately wants, was not to actually pass on information, but rather to parade a bunch of politicians before a bunch of cameras. To make it appear as if they were doing something while doing absolutely nothing.
And the repetitious use of the phrase "First Responders" is intended to evoke an emotional response, to produce a vision of brave men and women -- police officers, firefighters, EMS personnel, doctors and nurses -- rushing into harm's way to save the lives of the victims.
But it's all bullshit. There is no heroic rescue; there is no dramatic struggle to snatch hope from the jaws of despair -- there's just picking up the bodies on the interstate, and filling in reports, the opportunity for dramatic action having passed, and the First Responders are not at fault for this; that was just the way Fate dictated the accident would occur.
While we spin up the artificial grief machine that gets trotted out in the wake of these events, while we praise First Responders, while every two-bit politico who is even remotely connected in the most tertiary way to this terrible outcome gets his 15 seconds in front of a camera, no one is in the mood to look at the bigger picture.
Like why did the state of New Jersey license a bus driver who somehow didn't know making a U-turn on a interstate was a bad idea?
Like why is the state of New Jersey allowing a construction company with several hundred vehicle violations to stay in business?
Like how did New Jersey elect a complete retard who thinks you can just say "First Responder" 100 times in 11 minutes, and this somehow makes everything okay?
But, if you thought the quality of political leadership -- former First Responders, or not -- leaves much to be desired, well, just cross the Hudson, 'cause you ain't seen nothin' yet!
Because Andrew Cuomo, in the aftermath of yet another school massacre, took to the intertoobies to challenge Donald Trump to "do something" about these school shootings.
I must digress here for a moment.
It is no secret The Overlord has about as much use for Andrew Cuomo as a Bedouin has for a sandy hemorrhoid. It is my considered opinion that when Andrew Cuomo isn't pretending to be the Governor of New York, he's whiling the hours away sticking his fingers in his anus and then sniffing them. Maybe even occasionally tasting them. Cuomo is the worst sort of disgusting scum that infects this planet -- he's as annoying as a severe case of jock itch, as substantive as dryer lint, as attractive as the gritty paste of sweat, dirt, and dead skin that forms in the layers of a fat chick's belly rolls.
Andrew Cuomo once had an asshole transplant, but rumor has it the asshole rejected him.
Andrew Cuomo once had an imaginary friend...who unfriended him on Facebook.
Andrew Cuomo's 10th Grade Science fair project was entitled "The Thermos: It keeps things hot, it keeps things cold. How does it know?", and he got an "F" because he never answered his own question.
Andrew Cuomo is what crawls under things that crawl under rocks.
Andrew Cuomo is what happens when you botch a third trimester abortion.
They should put Cuomo's picture on condoms as a warning to not let this happen to you.
So, you see, Andrew Cuomo is not a very good man. In fact, he's perhaps the last person anyone should pay attention to.
If Andrew Cuomo stood still, your dog might decide to scent mark him.
After Sante Fe shooting, Cuomo calls on Trump to "Do Something".
Not about school shootings, of course...Cuomo wants Trump to "do something" about the NRA.
Because if Cuomo made it about school shootings, then he'd have to answer a very tough question:
What have YOU done about it?
And the answer would be....nothing.
Do you know why we don't have school shootings in New York City? Because everyone is illegally armed.
But by making the question about the NRA (which hasn't shot anyone), and rehashing the repetitive and useless liberal Gun Control talking points, Cuomo thinks he's putting the president on the spot.
Because that's all they have, and like the saying goes "A dog always returns to his vomit".
But, hey, Andrew "did something", didn't he? He really stuck it to that TrumpHitler guy, on Twitter, no less! Yessirreee! Boy, that'll sting!
Frankly, to confront Andrew, and every other liberal moutbreather, with the truth -- that the President can no more "do anything" about mental patients who decide to go indoor hunting during gym class than Andrew can about his stunted mental process (although, I must give credit where it's due; he's drooling much less, these days) would change nothing. They would still insist "something" be done, and who cares if that "something" happens to be smart, equitable, effective, or safe? The"Do Something" liberal imperative motivated the Iran Nuclear Deal, ObamaCare, The War on Poverty, Sub-Prime Mortgages, Affirmative Action, and a whole raft of other stupid ideas that had real consequences.
The result is not the point; the point is to be seen "doing something". And to smugly virtue signal while doing it.
To return to Coach Wooden's quotation, this past week we saw a lot of activity, but none of it looked like accomplishment.
Phil Murphy accomplished nothing standing at a podium built on dead and inured children. Andrew Cuomo undertook a useless gesture of Tweeting his supposed superiority while dodging the very subject he's accusing Trump of avoiding. I'm no big fan of Trump, but, seriously? Sadly this was both the best you could do, Andy, and all you have left. Schoolyard taunts while hiding behind the rhetorical lunch mother.
The only one who accomplished anything this week was some 17 year old, and that was several murders. But he doesn't get to tell you what he -- actually, not vicariously -- accomplished on television.
UPDATE: Someone has asked me in e-mail how I could criticize Andrew Cuomo for not doing something when I haven't suggested a solution of my own. I'd like to correct this person; I HAVE offered a solution to the problem of school shootings here.
Post a Comment