Thursday, March 26, 2020

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 3/21/2020 -- All of YOU)

"Fear cannot be banished, but it can be calm and without panic; it can be mitigated by reason and evaluation..." -- Vannevar Bush

The Left: The government's response to the Coronavirus has been terrible!
The Left: The government should run the healthcare system!

The Right: Welfare is wrong!
The Right: Nancy Pelosi held up my welfare!

Superwoke Dipshit: Don't call it "Wuhan Flu" or "Chinese Coronavirus"...that's racist!

Okay, how about "Kung Flu"? "Worker's Influenza?", "The Proletarian Sniffles?", "The Shanghai Death Sentence?", "Asian Apocalypse?, "Chinese Bat Soup Flu?", "The Yellow Peril?".

That One Pretentious Asshole Everyone Knows: "You know, they do this all so much better in Europe; only the Europeans saw this coming and they were prepared to respond perfectly. We should have a European-style healthcare system."

If by that you mean the Italians deliberately intended for thousands of elderly people to die for lack of doctors, beds, medicines and equipment and this was part of the plan and benefit to a Single-payer system, then yes, I agree -- they responded perfectly. Now what happens when they run out of old people to sacrifice and they still don't have enough doctors, beds, medicine and equipment? I hope you don't mind taking your turn, and skipping to the head of the death line, since you're such an advocate.

The 20-Something: I've been waiting for Spring Break all year! I'm not letting some virus stop me from getting comatose, having my stomach pumped, and a case of the clap!

The TV Talking Heads: We're all going to die from this virus. Literally all of us. Every last human being. Because Orange Man Bad. In other news. Kenny Rogers dies of natural causes. Film at 11.

You're all assholes.

I'm glad you've been ordered to stay at home and wallow in your dumbass. Because this means I can go back outside again.

I'm really slammed with work (the Overlord is an essential industry, you see) and trying to keep Mrs. Overlord from becoming another statistic, but I will try to get something written this week.

In the meantime, I hope all that toilet paper you've hoarded brought you peace of mind in this trying time.

No comments: