Saturday, August 17, 2019

You All Suck (Example #33 - Mixed (Douche)Bag Edition)

"There are few things that bring me joy in this life: the sound of a baby's laughter, the softness of a puppy, a good cup of strong coffee, a good night's sleep, and learning of the passing of yet another dumbass Hippie Icon." -- The Overlord

I don't usually like to speak ill of the dead, but...

We begin our tirade with the news that Peter Fonda, hack actor, sycophant who rode his father's coattails, "star" of a truly stupid movie that only those who dropped acid, fled the Draft, gave us three terribly-bad presidents in a row (Clinton, Bush the Younger, Obama), presided over the collapse of American Culture, and lorded over the biggest economic downturn since The Great Depression (only with all the AIDS, no-fault divorce, questionable ethics, Hepatitis C, Erectile Dysfunction and Dusty Dry Vaginas you can handle ) could enjoy.

I, for one, will stand and applaud Mr. Fonda. Not for anything he's done -- I find little praiseworthy in him -- but for shuffling off this mortal coil.

My question is this: What the fuck took you so long? What is taking the rest of you so long, as well?

Die, Hippies! Die!

The world was not improved one iota by your generation's  presence, it shall only get better when we're finally rid of it.

Mostly because your ideas -- both then and now -- suck. You are the most-selfish generation of human beings to ever walk the Earth, and now that there's close to 80 million of you with nothing better to do than cry about how broke you are and vote yourselves other people's money, the sooner your stinking carcasses are buried the easier I shall sleep.

Get it through your heads: You did not accomplish much of anything. Much of what you claim to have accomplished was achieved by standing upon the shoulders of giants. You did not stop a war; you did not "fight the establishment" (you merely switched places with them); you did not usher in the Age of Aquarius, but rather the Age of I-did-not-have-sexual-relations-with-that-woman, the Age of I-voted-for-it-before-I-voted-against-it, the Age of the Bitter-Clinger and the Deplorable.

The 1960's was a cultural wasteland. yeah, I know, the music. But you had to get high to be creative.

You are all petty, jealous, small-minded, fucktarded wastes of gametes, and I, for one, will laugh when the day arrives when your poisonous political and social ideals finally bear fruit and your grandchildren and great-grandchildren vote to kill you off in great numbers in exchange for "free" college.

Peter Fonda is a symbol of the Baby Boomer in it's Old Age: still stupid, still clueless, still selfish, still living despite being of little practical use to anyone.

And while many of that generation insist that "Easy Rider" is "an American Classic", I find it to have been a milepost on the road to Hell. It was made to entertain a generation that is/was obsessed with it's genitalia (especially now that those don't work).

On a less-venomous note....

This past week saw your Beloved Overlord "unfriended" on Social media by two...count 'em...libtards. One did so because I asked him a simple question his wind-up-pre-loaded-with-talking-points brain could not answer, and the other over a simple disagreement over, essentially, math. The particulars here are not important.

What is important is the reaction my more "conservative" (I put that in quotes because they're not exactly sure what that means) friends had to the fact that I even HAD liberal "friends", at all. I would very often get messages asking me "where did you find this guy?" or "why are you even talking to him?" regarding these two for years.

The answer is simple: the Overlord wants to hear other opinions. He wants to be challenged intellectually by the intellectually challenged. It keeps him mentally sharp. Occasionally, there is even a nugget of truth, fact or even...if you can believe it...sense in what The Other Side has to say.

After all, Failure often teaches more than Success.

There is also the idea that the best way to counter the de rigueur argument of the Left that the Right is a bunch of intolerant, bigoted, biased scumbags is to occasionally throw this grenade into their foxhole:

"If I were an intolerant, bigoted, biased scumbag, then why am I talking to you?".

It usually doesn't do any good, or change many minds, but it always pisses them off.

And I love to piss people off.

So, I recommend that everyone, regardless of political persuasion, make an effort to gather a few (un-)social media "friends" of opposite opinion. It has it's benefits.

And you laugh like a motherfucker when they finally discover their own dumbass and storm off in high menstrual dudgeon.

What's really funny is when a complete stranger threatens to "unfriend" you at least three times in the same thread because you won't wallow in his mental vomit, and you ask him why he thinks this is THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN.

And he has no answer for that one, either. Except to engage in more passive-aggressive and threaten to "unfriend" you again.

Sometimes, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

And now we reach the point in our program where we engage in unpopular stereotypes (other than the one about Hippies being assholes and liberals all being feminized twatwaffles).

I need to speak to all my Asian friends. And when I say "Asian", I mean the whole damned continent, from India to Korea, from every ex-Soviet "-stan" to Indonesia.

These last few weeks, I've begun to understand just why the Japanese custom of having a woman walk behind her husband exists. Why the Chinese bind a woman's feet, the Hindu practice of suttee (where a widow is placed upon the same funeral pyre as her late husband), and the Muslim practice of wrapping a woman in a carpet and keeping her hidden from the rest of the planet.

Because none of you can fucking drive.

I watched an Indian woman attempt to park her car in front of my house for nearly 12 minutes (I timed it) the other day. It should be noted: there wasn't another vehicle within 50' of her's. She sidled up to the empty chasm of parking space at about 3 mph, at a distance of about 8' from the curb. She then backed up and crept forward, backed up and crept forward, about 2' at a time, moving about 3" closer to the curb with each iteration.

When she finished the job, she was still about a yard from the curb and then, for good measure, backed the car up about another 15-20'. She then got out of her car, inspected her distance from the curb, and figuring "that's about as close as I'm ever going to get", walked off.

She returned less than five minutes later and then perfectly executed a 15-point U-turn, because apparently making two lefts or two rights to point in the opposite direction was too difficult. In the process, three other cars were sitting there honking their horns while she maneuvered a Camry like it was the fucking Queen Mary.

Next example: the Overlord is entering the parking lot at the local supermarket. He is driving down a lane which has parked cars to either side of it, seeking a spot. It is then that THREE "Asian" women all decide to simultaneously back out of their spots, on either side, none of them apparently aware of the presence of the others.

The resulting fender-bender was a joy to behold. A veritable symphony of fucktard.

And when they all get out of their cars, what does one see?

Two burkas and a dotted forehead.

All three, incidentally, driving luxury vehicles (two BMW SUV's and a Lexus, if I remember correctly).

The resulting police activity was a riot, comedically-speaking. When a cop is laughing at a multi-car accident, you know he's just heard some of the funniest shit, ever.

As one officer is taking my statement, the other leans in and tells his partner "that one says she turned her head to look for other cars, but her burka blocked her view".This, apparently, is a reason why she should not be held responsible for the accident; if you blame her burka for leaving her blind while driving, that's racism.

You can't make this stuff up.

But, it gets better (you had any doubt?).

Yesterday I'm at the DMV (I needed paperwork for a Disabled Person parking placard for Mrs. Overlord) when two Korean women collide -- head on -- in the parking lot. They were both waving each other on, it seems, but neither would move, until they both decided "if you won't go, I will", with the resulting, satisfying sounds of breaking glass and crunching metal.

They begin fighting in the lot. Never mind classic kung-fu movies; fuck Bruce Lee. Hell, MMA pales in comparison. If you ever want to see a knock-down-drag-out, watch two Korean females assault each other with umbrellas and purses, in a scene where neither manages to actually hit the other, the attendant cursing sounds more like cattle giving birth, and when it's all over -- because the cops break it up -- both suddenly collapse and start complaining of busted kidneys, shattered spinal cords, severe head injuries, and premature labor (they might as well).

When you come from a culture where you're basically not allowed to do much beyond physical labor and endure bad sex, and the highest technical achievements are (in no particular order) the Suicide Vest, Body Odor, and fermenting cabbage in a hole in the ground, the leap to archaic 20th Century Technology in the form of a Motor Vehicle is probably a very bad idea, and premature without an intermediate step, like a tricycle, or something with training wheels.

1 comment:

Ginta said...

You NENER let me down. I’m laughing hysterically because you speak the truth! And in a way that I totally understand!! I hope you and the Mrs are doing well... keep on being YOU!!❤️