The Perils of Equality and Some Other Stuff...

 "The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal..." -- Aristotle

The Olympics: Now With More Gay...

 "The only thing gayer than a gay rendition of The Last Supper is a gay rendition of The Last Supper on a fucking boat floating through the middle of Paris..." -- The Overlord

Baseball Versus Jock Itch...

 "The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppance..." -- P.G. Wodehouse, "A Pelican at Blandings"

On Cheating...

"If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying" -- Joe Montana (among others)