"It is now common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that'. As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more than a whine. 'I find that offensive'. It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that'. Well so fucking what." -- Stephen Fry
Your beloved Overlord was the victim of a serious crime last week.
His civil rights were violated by the combination of a butt-hurt internet commentator with little intelligence and an even lower-IQ Un-Social Media censor.
Both are probably female. How do I know this? I'll fill you in after I give all the particulars.
I am, by nature, unable to leave stupid alone. It drives me batty. It is the one thing in all of the Universe that I have no patience for, to the point where I might even be incited towards violence.
And this is why Facebook is a such a terrible thing.
Because Facebook and it's counterparts are like a supermarket for dumbfuck. It encourages dumbfuck. Often CELEBRATES it.
There was a time in American life when stupid people could be made to shut the fuck up and disappear. All you had to do was demonstrate their lack of intelligence to them, causing great embarrassment. Suddenly self-conscious of their own lackwit, the offending doofus would then feel a great deal of reticence about opening her fucking pie hole again and remain silent to the gratitude of all sentient people within a 200 mile radius.
This had the added benefit that any serious debate about any serious question was not muddied by the addled ramblings of the incoherent, and because they were often made aware of their idiot and would disappear to avoid the pain of being reminded, you could generally discuss things in a frank, rational manner without the need to consider the tender feelings of stupid people who weren't there.
Like anyone cares about your feelings?
But that Golden Era has ended. I blame the education system, personally, which turned school -- from kindergarten to college -- into one great, big group therapy session dedicated to the curious proposition that self-esteem was the Holy Grail of existence. Dumbfuck got catered to; it was excused; it was made socially-acceptable. It became part of the curriculum, what with all the self-esteem seminars and puppet shows and Diversity (except White Male) bullshit.
It's a system designed, specifically, to cater to the female because it elevates feelings above reason. Anything designed specifically for a female -- unless we're talking tampons or birth control pills -- is usually about as useful as fleas are to a dog.
Anyway, here I am, minding my own business when I come across what promises to be an interesting post from a "friend" (whom I have never met, will probably never meet and I can probably guarantee our children will never marry one another). The conversation in this guy's threads is usually highbrow. The subject of the post, for our immediate purposes, is not necessary.
Suffice to say, there was a response from another of his friends that was so incredibly bromidic that I was triggered by it. Here was an example of something so ridiculously insipid that it could only have been uttered by an Irish Setter with Down's Syndrome (Irish Setters, arguably, being the dunces of the canine world and assuming they could utter). It was completely devoid of reason, logic, or coherence, not to mention facts. It DEMANDED a response.
And it got one.
Which elicited a return response in which I'm informed -- by a complete stranger -- that I MUST be an evil conservative, with no sense of human decency and a deficient moral compass, who probably eats babies for breakfast and commits 376 rapes a day because Privileged White Male. And this person should know, because (alleged) she is a Psychology Major and she knows a psychopath when she sees one. By the way, I also misspelled a word and she corrected me, pointing out that I'm illiterate, too.
Incidentally, none of that fusillade had anything to do with the subject of the post, nor was it a rebuttal, on point, to my response. It was just reflexive invective launched from a secret location deep inside Soviet Retardistan. Someone got sand in her vagina because her stupid was exposed on a public forum. Her self-esteem was bruised.
So, I explained her fundaMENTAL mistakes again, using very small words, and then informed her that it's been my experience that people who study psychology only do so to figure out what's wrong with themselves, and that if any university allowed such an inarticulate, logically-challenged person to graduate with a Master's Degree, that person should probably sue to get their money back. They've obviously been cheated. Also, those who can do; those that can't teach; and those that can't even do that, correct other people's spelling on the Internet.
Furthermore, if this response should make you feel inadequate, it fucking damned well should.
(Incidentally my original response, pointing out the errors of the offending response, got applause and 30 likes. Apparently, most everyone involved in the discussion agreed with me. Some even said so and ridiculed my interlocutor).
The next day, I discover I've been put in "Facebook Jail", unable to respond or post.
I then discover that the "offending" post that got me this sentence was nearly a year old.
Someone had obviously gone timeline fishing for something to report to the Facebook Gestapo for the purposes of curtailing my right to Free Speech.
And this is how I know my accuser was female and every man who reads what follows can relate:
Gentlemen, how many times have you found yourself in the predicament of winning an argument with a woman -- hands down, you've mentally outflanked and surrounded her, made a present of her fucktard, complete with a pretty bow and a card attached and given it to back for her to unwrap -- only to have her suddenly switch gears and bring up something totally unrelated that you did 5 years ago in an effort to shame or emotionally scar you into surrender and to rescue what little dignity she still has left?
So that's how I know: It bears all the hallmarks of vagina.
So, when the Facebook Comintern gave me the opportunity to request a review of the "offending" post and to respond to my banishment, you fucking better believe I took it. Here were the salient points:
1. No one has the right to go through life unoffended. "Offense" is subjective, and fuck your Terms of Service, because
2. Facebook generates no content of it's own; it depends upon users to generate content upon which Facebook profits. If Facebook is censoring content and limiting speech on it's forums, it's only hurting it's own bottom line.
3. The entire system wherein someone can, anonymously, narc someone else out with a year-old post stinks like a Mexican whore after a three-day orgy in the midst of her menstrual cycle and is ripe for abuse. It most likely IS abused routinely and Facebook is probably aware of this, but allows the practice to continue, anyway. Probably because the easily-offended/dumbfuck population outnumbers the reasonable people and Facebook needs those numbers to stay profitable.
4. I should have the ability to respond to my accuser and have the would-be censor contact me BEFORE the ban goes into effect on the basis of a) it could just be a simple misunderstanding, b) someone should check to ensure the accuser isn't acting maliciously, and c) we have a legal ideal of "innocent until proven guilty", i.e. we establish guilt BEFORE we hand out penalties, and while Facebook is not a court of law it is making decisions on content and free speech that might raise a few hairs on a Supreme Court Justice's eyebrow. Just sayin'.
5. I'd be more than happy to have my attorney contact Facebook at any time, so that Facebook can explain this strange system whereby they make money on my intelligence, doesn't pay me for it (potential for lawsuit?), and then decides they have the right to arbitrarily curtail my First Amendment Rights based upon nothing more than an anonymous complaint which may not have any merit.
Suffice to say, my sentence was mysteriously reduced to 3 days. No explanation. No Apologies.
New Subject: Your Overlord is nothing if not concerned for the environment, Kids.
Some years back (7, I think. I know I blogged about it), I did a little experiment wherein I collected all the junk mail my mailman delivered to my home for a full year and then weighted it.
If I remember correctly, the grand total of junk mail collected over the course of a calendar year was 36 pounds.
Recently, I decided to recreate the experiment, so I began collecting junk mail again in January. We are now at the ass end of May. The total so far?
46 pounds.
It mainly consists of things I can never recall having asked for: catalogs, mortgage renegotiation offers, offers of "no interest" credit cards, reminders to bring my car in for service and I don't even have a service contract. Advertisements for Green Energy, home improvement services, landscapers, menus from new restaurants. The worst has to be the amount of political advertisements and newsletters sent by everyone from Governor Douchebag Cuomo to the entire New York State Congressional delegation (none of whom I ever voted for), my Borough President, my Assemblyman.
Even my utility bills come pre-packaged with a quite prodigious amount of paper ads with energy-saving tips, additional services offered, local services of all kinds, like treatments for advanced male pattern baldness, spa days, plumbers, auto parts and sporting goods (the Electric and Gas Companies apparently sell direct-mail ads, too).
So, here we are, five full months into the new year, and the amount of junk mail has increased by 20 pounds (based on a 10-pound increase in less than 6 months) and the subject matter has exploded to cover nearly human endeavor.
It's the ground-communication equivalent of pop-up screens.
All of this unwanted -- and largely unnecessary -- paper being transported by my mailman takes a toll on the environment. It requires energy to generate that much paper, to print upon it, to move it from place to place. It requires trucks to burn gasoline, jets to burn jet fuel, rubber to erode on roadways, exhaust gases to be vented into the atmosphere and probably will cripple my mailman with several tons of extra weight before he's 50.
If you want a "Green New Deal" then let's start with the government. The Postal Service is wasting a tremendous amount of energy and resources to move shit that I just throw away.
And the ironic part is that the explosion of junk mail coincides with the explosion and proliferation of "Social Media" sites.
If we went backwards in time, I'll bet there was a corresponding leap in junk mail production when AOL, Telnet, and all the other pre-cursor Google/Amazon/Facebook companies were in full swing, because one of the ways in which these companies generate revenue is to compile mailing lists of their customers and use analytics of their online activities to tailor the list to a particular advertiser...who will pay more for a more-specific list so as to not waste their own resources.
So not only is Facebook getting rich selling my personal information and enjoying the profits from the content I generate, it's destroying the environment via targeted mailing lists sold to anyone who will buy them and the US Government is aiding and abetting the practice by having the Postal Service waste energy and fill landfills by delivering it. In the meantime, I have the Social Media Giants and every IQ-of-a-Loose-Floorboard democrat in the land constantly haranguing me about my fucking Carbon Footprint.
Now, there's a good reason why Facebook won't stop selling mailing lists that flood our homes with dozens of pounds of unwanted, expensively-produced, energy-intensive crap and that's because it makes money on the proposition.
Likewise, the Postal Service, which routinely loses billions of dollars every year despite having a monopoly on the delivery of first-class mail because the income offsets the worst of the losses incurred by the combination of poor management and overpaid, unionized government workers.
(Which is much of what this junk mail is classified as. First class? Most of it is only suitable for wiping your behind or housebreaking puppies on. By the way, I thought monopolies were bad: why does the Postal Service get to have one when it's been superseded by technology -- internet, cell phones, duh! -- and there are more-efficient services like DHL and FedEx? Oh, right...unions and political contributions).
And there's a very good reason why the likes of AOC, who talks a good game about the world ending in a dozen years, will never rebuke Facebook for it's sale of personal information (despite it's obvious connection to Environmental Apocalypse), nor ever force the Postal Service to take a look at it's wasteful operations (because the Postal unions fund the democrat party): because people like her are buying the targeted mailing lists and then get to send Congressional Junk mail -- in any quantity, for free -- in an effort to drum up votes.
Fuck the rivers and streams, Momma needs to stay in Congress or it's back to making margaritas and pushing tacquitos from the bar menu.
And if you have a problem with any of that then just remember it's different when the Left engages in hypocrisy because shut up.
So, let's lay our cases out:
Facebook will intentionally violate a person's First Amendment Rights based on little more than an anonymous complaint, but profit mightily on that same person's intellectual property (posts and responses) and personal information (name, address, phone numbers, internet habits). Zuckerdouche will then financially support politicians who are like-minded about curtailing Free Speech and decry the evils of capitalism, so long as they leave him alone to arbitrarily engage in the former and practice the latter with reckless abandon. So long as the check clears.
If you disagree on some political or factual level, some anonymous fucktard with an over-active estrogen release system will report you to the Thought Police and you will be denied a service you're paying for through it's very use. Zuckerfuck will also advocate that you live like a caveman to "save the planet", while he lives in a mansion behind walls.
The left wing and the self-appointed Elites in this country have decreed that the average citizen should be reduced to a Medieval level of existence, eschewing meat, electricity, internal combustion engines, vaccines, travel, private homes, while they get to live in the world of luxury Washington, D.C. flats or Silicon Valley manorial estates, struggling with the existential crisis of learning to understand the utility and function of a garbage disposal, or the First Amendment, all as a matter of dire need in order to avert global catastrophes.
But if the Post office should waste fuel and manpower, not to mention the money that will be needed under the left's "Make America Poor Again" plan, it's quite okay: because without the ability to mail vast amounts of free junk mail you'd never have a clue as to what these idiots are doing and what stupidity they're capable of.
Because the Internet guys will make certain you will never learn about it there, nor let you speak of it. If you object, you should -- will -- be silenced and deplatformed . Because politics, the self-esteem of the general dimwit and the Bottom Line.
One last item: it has been reported this week (and if you didn't know this already, it's because you've been asleep for the last 50 years) that Civil Rights icon Martin Luther King, Jr. was a horndog that made Bill Clinton look like an exhausted eunuch and the FBI has had recordings of his alleged trysts -- and an alleged rape -- since the mid 1960's.
Considering the environment created by things like MeToo, the Fictional "War on Women", the rise of Identity Politics, and the deliberate destruction of the past based upon the idea that while people may have done great things, if they happen to have peccadilloes that run counter to current political orthodoxy they should be airbrushed out of history, I want to know:
When do we get to start pulling down statues, renaming schools and streets and "correcting" the historical record in the textbooks? No to mention overturning entire legal and social regimes based upon the Revered's work?
Because "Justice".
1 comment:
"Never make anyone your personal guru". Or some lame adage like that.
Also: "I lost an argument IN the internet"? I take it that poster was meant to be ironic (Please tell me I'm right on this one).
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