Dangerous Commentary from a Would-Be Galactic Dictator. Beg for Mercy at email@example.com
Monday, February 24, 2020
Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 2/22/2020 - Michael Bloomberg)
It has been said that "politics makes for strange bedfellows" and never has that been proven more true than in the Race to Get Beaten Bloody by Trump in the democratic (small 'd' intentional) party of 2020. For the strangest collection of bedfellows:
A cranky old communist trying to pass himself off as a lovable socialist but coming off for all the world like a Nazi (Bernie Sanders).
An aging moron (Joe Biden) who's current state of dementia is difficult to discern from his previous state of clueless confusion in his salad days.
An openly-gay man (mis-)quoting the Bible and mangling Christian doctrine to justify his run and existence (Pete Buttigieg).
A rich white woman who has claimed minority status, using the Affirmative Action system as a means of achieving more privileges (Elizabeth Warren).
Another woman who, in any other sane world, would be working the shoe department at K-Mart, or perhaps been a dental receptionist, and not a U.S. Senator (Amy Klobuchar).
A couple of billionaires who both told you the Capitalist System they used to become billionaires, themselves, no longer works, or at least can't work for you (Andrew Yang, Tom Steyer), pushing for intrusive statism, regulation and welfare, none of which they ever expect to pay for or suffer the consequences of
And then there is the strangest of all the bedfellows, one Michael Bloomberg, former Mayor of New York City. In this sneering, vertically-challenged personage is everything that is wrong with the political left in a nutshell.
For a start, you have to realize what Bloomberg MEANS in terms of this election before you can begin to understand who Bloomberg IS.
In keeping with the motif that the democratic (small 'd' intentional) party of 2020 is nothing if not a bedroom-based, second-rate, incestuous soap opera, taking place within a trashy Central American telenovella, itself playing out inside of an all-American puppet show, we are treated to the most remarkable formulation, I think, that has ever been seen or experienced in American Politics:
At the point where the admitted admirer of Communism (Bernie Sanders), is on the cusp of grasping the mantle of "nominee" and handing power over to the Rage and Stupid Wing that is to the Left of Stalin on most issues -- a circumstance that has every swingin' dick that owes his existence to the parasitical relationship of apparatchik to party frightened to death -- the American left establishment has turned to a Capitalist who is pretending to be a (lite) Socialist in order to stave off it's own insurgent Communist wing.
It is axiomatic in American Leftist politics that all the power really resides in the extreme left wing of the democratic (small 'd' intentional) party. The Communists, the Socialists, the Identitarians, the Idiotarians, the Youth that is both stupid and full of restless and undirected energy -- these are the forces that wield the power of organization, the romance of "struggle", the unmitigated malice that is integral to the personality type that is perpetually unsatisfied and laboring under the misapprehension that it is cosmically right despite being galactically inferior.
The Left exists, in large part, because there are Losers in society. If the Losers didn't have a vehicle in elective politics, where they could feel that their voices were at least being heard, they'd only riot.
And most likely be crushed like insects, for they are outnumbered, out-financed, outgunned, and typically out-thought; most are too lazy to take meaningful action (especially if it means getting up in the morning), and their moral, ethical and physical cowardice leaves them peculiarly unsuited to the work of a real Revolution.
This faction of the party has it's roots in old-style Communism. It's visible pustules include the Labor Union, for example, and the feigned attachment to and concern for "the underprivileged". Like the old-style Communists, the leaders of this army of misfits doesn't truly seek an egalitarian society of equals, where all Men live in Peace and Brotherhood -- that's just the mask -- it wants, desperately, to simply change places with it's class and ideological enemies, and with the power that accrues to this flipping of the Winners and Losers, ensure the former Winners remain Losers forever.
Mostly by killing them off.
For all the talk of "moderate democrats" is just that. The "moderate democrats" are the curtain that hides the Great and Powerful Oz. They are the catspaw by which the truly evil and deranged will advance their cause. They are the smokescreen behind which the truly degenerate will operate, hopefully in complete secrecy and anonymity, "invading the institutions", as it were, until it attains the cultural dominance needed to overcome it's political opposition.
And when the "moderate democrat" serves his purpose and can be useful no more, they suddenly disappear.
John F. Kennedy was a "moderate democrat". He was assassinated by a communist.
Robert Kennedy was a "moderate democrat". He was assassinated by a communist, too.
Barack Obama was advertised as a "moderate democrat", but he was quickly abandoned and forgotten just as soon as he failed Mao's inheritors If I were you, Barack, I'd watch my back. The Obama star was eclipsed long ago, even before he left office.
And then there was Hillary, a woman so foul-smelling that hyenas wouldn't touch her carcass even if it were the last food source left on the Serengeti. She failed the Children of Pol Pot...TWICE. She. too, was abandoned in turn and even her popular husband has been made persona non grata, surprising since the very people who once lectured us on his misadventures merely being "just about sex" have now gone all puritanical on his bloated ass in this age of MeToo. The Clinton light is fading.
Fortunately for the Clintons, they have an army of assassins at their beck and call (allegedly) and so have little to fear.
The "moderate democrat" has outlived his usefulness, even as convenient camouflage, for the Militant Moron Wing has finally decided that all this incrementalism -- minimum wages, half-hearted ObamaCare, no free ______ (insert any and all of the following: college, drugs, houses, automobiles, cable TV, electricity, public transportation, hospitals, internet service, and just about anything else you can think of) -- has gone on long enough. It believes it has finally achieved it goals of capturing the institutions of public life, and it is now time to hammer the opposition.
And they may be right to panic. The public schools and colleges suck hard and people leave them demonstrably dumber than when they went in. The Deep State has attempted something like 37 coups in the last three years and failed miserably. The Media is so in the tank for Communism that the commercials between Rachel Maddow's diatribes have become far-more interesting than anything she actually has to say.
The Courts, once that bastion of Left-wing fucktard that could be manipulated to give the Commies victories they could otherwise no longer obtain at the ballot box, are now under threat from a Trumpian campaign of finding judges who didn't get their law degrees from a box of Cracker Jacks, and who don't owe their positions to fawning proximity to power or Affirmative Action.
The window is closing. They can't compete with all this prosperity and integrity.
The time for Revolution, dammit, is right NOW. The "moderate democrats" have dicked around for far too long. It is time to establish the Worker's Paradise (which will resemble something like Venezuela, only with indoor plumbing, WiFi, and happy unicorns that pee lemonade, shit Skittles, fart rainbows, sneeze glitter, puke cotton candy, and ejaculate Health Insurance ).
But, the "moderate democrats" have invaded an institution, too. The electoral process. That is still under their (nominal) influence (but not control), hence all the talk of eliminating the Electoral College from the AOC legion, and popular votes counting for more than Electoral ones, and Russia! Russia! Russia!
(As an aside, I find it hysterically funny that the very communists who told us for decades that the Soviet Union was no danger to us, that Socialism and Communism were humane systems of democracy, that the U.S.S.R. was a paragon of "progressive" thought and culture and highest social and political evolution of Man, now see Russians under every bed -- and e-mail server).
And so we come to Michael Bloomdouche...erm...Bloomberg.
He is the Last Con.
He is the Last Stand.
He is The Alamo, Singapore, the Tobruk, the Bataan, all rolled up into one, of the "moderate" democrat (small 'd' intentional) who owes their paycheck and their status to the parasitical nature of the political system they've erected -- the sinecure political appointments, the multi-million dollar contracts that come with being a "democratic pollster", "a strategist" and "special adviser". He is the last shield between the Inner-Beltway elitists and the Great Unwashed Masses. These people fear for their very lives, for between Trump's Swamp Draining and the foreknowledge of what the Sandernistas will do to them, should victory be in the offing, they will have nothing left.
And be the first marched to the new Gulags. Even before the Capitalists.
These same assholes should also realize that the Alamo, Singapore, Tobruk and Bataan were last stands that ultimately failed.
So, who is this Michael Bloodouche...erm...Bloomberg doofus, anyway?
To begin with, his largely-inflated bio aside (he did not "reinvent" the financial news/data industry: his "innovation" was to simply (have someone else) create a computer with two screens), I can tell you with absolute accuracy who this piece of shit truly is, having lived under his despotic rule for 12 years in Sodom-on-the-Hudson.
This is the kid no one liked. This was the insignificant flea that everyone ignored. This is the arrogant little shit who believes that since everyone laughed at him once, that no one should ever have any fun ever again. Laughter and joviality spark hatred in him. He is a petty, vain, vindictive, smarmy little slime mold who is forever trying to rub it in your face that for all the ridicule and repulsiveness he engendered, he's still smarter than you are, it made him richer than you are, and therefore, that makes him better than you are.
Juxtaposed against Pericles of Athens, he is the Burgermeister Meisterburger of those old animated Christmas specials starring Mickey Rooney.
The Heat Miser to your Frosty the Snowman.
The Cruella deVille to your 101 Dalmations.
Compared to Winston Churchill he is Vidkun Quisling...with even less charm, and probably worse breath.
He is Saruman to Trump's Gandalf.
The Voldermort to Trump's Harry Potter.
The Magneto to Trump's Professor X.
Mini Me to Trump's Austin Powers.
In demeanor, his deadpan delivery and total lack of human-like movement when speaking gets one to thinking "this is what gonorrhea would probably be like if it had a personality".
His propensity to swap political affiliations and labels more often than most people change their underwear is indicative of a ruthless opportunist. He chooses both in much the same way people select cuts of meat at the supermarket -- this looks like steak, and it's on sale.
Twelve years of Bloomberg are enough to make anyone want to vomit, and if you're wondering why his successor allows the indigent to defecate freely in the streets, it's only because the rest of us have heaved up enough Bloombergian bile to at least be considerate enough to let the mental patients and drug addicts have their say, too.
Mike Bloomberg is running for President as the mere anti-Trump, the billionaire who will slay the other billionaire, but it goes deeper than this.
For all of his success, for all of his vast fortune, Michael Bloomberg has never been loved.
Certainly not in the way that Donald Trump is beloved. Even some of Trump's most ardent enemies will admit, the man has charisma. If Bloomberg had charisma, the rest of the planet would be seeking a vaccine against it. This is a guy from the outer boroughs who made good, and no one gave a fuck.
I'm sure his dog likes him, but then Fido's probably on the payroll.
The Beautiful People don't like him; they merely tolerate him so long as he parrots their fake, virtue-signalling, self-serving noblesse oblige. The world of fancy cocktail parties and celebrity balls in the chicest Upper East Side salons would not have him. His former business rivals were not cowed or wowed by his stunning "achievements", only by his vast fortune, and he's shallow enough to gain but momentary pleasure from rubbing their noses in it, thinking he's gotten even. They wouldn't let him join their club, so he forced his way in and never lets them forget he's the tiny little slug they all hated, but now beg for money.
In fact, I'd wager that if you were to ask most people to compile a list of the most-loved, respected, and popular billionaires, Bloomberg would come in behind Trump, Bruce Wayne, Richie Rich, Daddy Warbucks and Scrooge McDuck, and when you stop to consider those last four are fictional characters, it would be a fine indication of how reviled Mike Bloomberg would be.
Wait, did I just call him "Mike"? It's amazing how quickly Bloomberg went from Mayor McCheese to "Mike", probably in an attempt to manufacture a man of the people from a cigar store wooden Indian.
As for his "achievements" as Mayor, he touts the recovery from 9/11 without telling you that it took 10 YEARS for anything to be built on the site for all the wrangling over memorials and such. He'll tell you that he lowered crime in New York City, got city services to run somewhat-more efficiently, made the city cleaner, and all manner of feel-good-deserves-a-slap-on-the-back pishposh, but that, too, would be far from the truth.
The truth is that he had the good fortune to follow Rudy Guiliani. His assumed aura is the afterglow of the Guiliani years.
It showed in the "debate" in Nevada. This isn't such as smart man; he's not even a very good liar. This is just one more trinket to buy when you get tired of buying yachts and villas, as far as he's concerned. This is a mission of conceit. This is when "Mike", finally becomes "someone", and his hatred of Donald J. Trump, the star quarterback and Prom King to his Chess and Math Club moderator lies vanquished in the dust. One more name scratched off the revenge list.
As to what he really did, here's the short version:
If you want to be dictated to about what you can eat, about how much salt you can have, about what you drink and in what quantities, where you can and cannot drive, how poorly your kids are to be educated, what containers your food comes in or what means of conveyance you bring your groceries home in, if you want to be lorded over by a pint-sized Wicked Witch of the East, told just what your place is in his vision of society, if you wish to be under continuous surveillance by cameras that exist not for your safety but as a means of generating revenue for the city, if you want a leader who hightails it to his stately manor in the Bahamas when the first snowflake falls, if you wish to live in a world where today's iron rule becomes tomorrow's guillotine, if you like your Presidents to use their vast fortunes to have constitutions re-written on the fly to allow third terms, if you enjoy the idea of a media mogul who uses his megaphone to publicize the flaws and foibles of everyone else while instituting a regime of censorship regarding own shortcomings, if you like extraordinarily thin-skinned people with their finger on the nuclear button, and pandering fucktards who will institute huge government giveaways, flout the rule of law, throw you up against a wall to be frisked -- until that becomes a public no-no and then he changes his tune -- if you think you might have the time of your life living under the regime of a cardboard cutout who believes his money gives him depth and substance, who makes terrible hires for important positions, and who doesn't give a tinker's turd for the whole affair because, hey, it's not like he lives here (the view from the penthouse distorts everything) and will never have to suffer for it, then by all means, vote for "Mike".
If you feel the need to projectile vomit or shit in the street afterwards, please do it in front of your own house.
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outstanding as always Mr. Noto
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