Congratulations, America: You've perfected the Moron.
It was once said that the ingenuity and "Can Do" spirit that Made America Great (can I still use that phrase, or has the current asshole in the White House copyrighted it?) was gone. We had become a country that was no longer capable of success, said the naysayers, and our natural decline would begin and we would slowly disappear from the World Stage. America, they said, could never be Number One, again.
But the Negative Nellies were wrong.
Because America has reached the apex of success in at least one area: we lead the world -- by an incredibly wide margin -- in Shit For Brains.
We grow Stupid on trees in this country. There must be hundreds of thousands of acres devoted to it's cultivation all across the Heartland. I'll bet its even hydroponically grown, in some places. Or at least it seems that way. Maybe there's a factory turning out retards with mass-production techniques? I begin to have a frightening thought: we appear able to only make one product in this country, and that's Moron.
I would argue we've reached Peak Moron.
Look at our last election, for example: you were given a choice between the Son of Chuckie and Lucifer in a Plus-Sized Pantsuit, How did we get such a terrible choice? We leave important things -- like who gets to run the country -- in the hands of Morons, that's how.
And while one group of Morons was enthralled by the complete and utter word vomit of the Lilly White Version of Barack Obama (only more inarticulate off teleprompter), another group of Morons was so committed to the cause of seeing Her Heinous, The Dowager Douchebag of Chappaqua, made President that they rigged their own primary election and blamed the Russians for it. And then managed to convince themselves that they were cheated.
When you want to complain about "things in this country" I want you to remember that this is YOUR fault (not mine, because I'm not an idiot. I had no choice because legions of Morons made the choice for me. I don't suffer idiots, and let them know, but apparently too many of you have a high tolerance for Asshole): so when the Impeachment nonsense drives you crazy, when all the Red Scares frighten you, when all the Investigations that are Alternately Political Theater or Fishing Expeditions confuse you, when all the smearing by anonymous sources, bureaucratic backstabbing, the divide between Left and Right becomes a Grand Canyon, just remember: MORONS.
Morons selected the circus, they selected the monkeys, and now the rest of us have to live with the consequences. Which to date are that the GOP saved ObamaCare, and a few score thousands of industrial workers got to keep jobs for a few months longer that they were going to lose anyway to automation or outsourcing.
You can see this streak of Moron present in the childish, almost naive way that Modern Morons approach a subject of national import. I mean, they are totally detached from anything resembling intelligence: they are unable to grasp analogies; they make mistakes in their logic and seem unaware of it; they repeat things that other people have said reflexively without having thought about them; if it showed up in a newspaper, (P)MSNBC, or their Yahoo News, it's MUST be true. No need to think about it.
Moron.
To give you an example:
Recently, I had a discussion with someone regarding the Border Wall. This Moron was against it, and the case he made for his position went something like this: America was NOT Communist Germany, which built walls, and we have a duty as Citizens of the World to help the Less Fortunate. If the Less Fortunate jump the gun and come here illegally, it's only because we've failed to help them fast enough to suit them and their dire needs. Besides, we have so much, what does it hurt to share with others? We don't deserve to have this much, anyway. It's unfair.
Picking apart the Moron, one bit at a time:
1) Germany had Communism imposed upon it by invasion, the result of having lost a World War.
2) The Berlin Wall's purpose was to keep people IN not OUT, and so enslaved by Communism imposed by an outside force.
3) I recognize no duty to anyone, let alone the Less Fortunate, who, by and large are Less Fortunate because they are even bigger Morons than people who don't know what the Berlin Wall was for, and equate Americans with Communists just because the word "wall" is involved.
4) I will, however, agree on this point: there's a shitload of people in America who deserve nothing, at all, seeing as how they contribute nothing at all.
5) "It's not fair" is an argument usually made by 4 year olds. If we "have more" it's because we're smarter, more-productive, and willing to make the sacrifices that make "more" possible. "It's not fair" is your emotion speaking, not reason.
Personally, I'd like a wall made OF illegal aliens, as that would be just the best possible deterrent.
Here's another example:
All over America, people who have been screaming loudly about Civil Rights, inclusion, and equality for 100 years suddenly don't want them.
Harvard holds a "blacks only" graduation ceremony; African-American Morons in America's universities want Whites banned from Campus. Anything that celebrates the history and heritage of Whites is under assault. "Diversity" events go out of their way to let everyone know that Whites aren't welcome.
It appears as if segregation is back in vogue. Only this time, it's the former victims of segregation that are apparently begging for it.
I'm sure Dr. King must be proud.
Really, what's behind this mass move to exclude is desire for avoidance: to avoid the painful truth about Black America, to avoid communal responsibility, to avoid having to -- finally! -- take the place in American Society that black activists and civil rights leaders have argued is the rightful one of the African-American. Why? Because Moron. And because Morons fail. And if the Morons failed in great and visible numbers, we might begin to sympathize with those who marched under Lee and Stonewall, and perhaps begin to think they were maybe right.
So, skip the middleman, skip the arduous hard work that will eventually lead to recognition of your innate Moron, and segregate yourself. Makes perfect sense.
With the added benefit that you can now spend another 100 years crying about your victimhood and demanding special treatment, which is really more psychologically comforting -- and requires far less effort -- anyway.
Morons.
Another old favorite, which no one in America can avoid, even by self-segregation, is the level of Moron attached to something as basic as the biological imperative. Sex.
Before we reached Peak Moron, sex was a simple matter. Something people just did of their own volition, when they felt like it, and it didn't appear as if much thought -- much less convoluted thought -- was necessary. I'm horny, you're horny, we're horny, we make the beast with two backs.
But no. Morons of a thousand varieties had to ruin Sex with their Moron, too, and turn it into a physical, cultural, political, legal and practical minefield.Feminists, psychologists, sexual counselors, homosexuals, transsexuals, non-binaries, cisnormatives, heteronormatives, non-cis-non-heteronormatives, they've ruined it for the rest of us. We've gone from "No Means No" to "Yes Means No if I change My Mind After the Fact".
We have a "Rape Culture", we have a "Rape Crisis", we have Consent Laws, we have colleges prosecuting sex crimes in which there a) doesn't appear to be any crime, and b) since when did colleges become enforcers of law? For all the rape apparently happening in America, I seem to run into so few victims on a daily basis. I mean, the way some hysterical women (sorry, that was redundant) make it sound, women are being raped every minute of every day in broad daylight. It's amazing we ever get through our busy days without tripping over at least two rapes-in-progress.
Morons.
The trend in America since the 1960's has been to empower Morons. The clever, the truly smart, those possessed of Common Sense, have been steadily shunted aside by the Great Unwashed Masses of Mediocrity, usually in the name of "fairness", or "inclusion", or under some banner that purports to be addressing a historical wrong (that it may address a historical wrong with another wrong, like Affirmative Action, say, goes completely unnoticed. because...all together now...Moron).
The Morons now control everything by virtue of the fact that they have the numbers. This means that business will cater to them. The media will cater to them. The Institutions of American Life -- courts, schools, military, political organizations -- will, likewise, be bent so as to respond to their needs and desires. It has to be thus, because that's how business, entertainment, and politics work: give the people what they want.And if they happen to be complete Morons, give it to them in Moron form.
There was a time in Human History when people this stupid were marginalized, but that is now impossible.
So, good work, America. if ti wasn't already bad enough that you saddled us with a Permanent Dependent Class, you've gone and added a Permanently Retarded Class to finish the matched set.
We're Number 1!
"You All Suck" is a Featured Essay which highlights the incredible stupidity of the Human Race. Stay tuned for future installments.
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