"Petromasculinity"? This May Be Why You're Lonely...

 "Online dating is like choosing a proctologist by picking random names out of a hat..." -- The Overlord

Signs o' The Times...

"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half of the "fuck you" signs in the world. It is impossible." -- J.D. Salinger, "Catcher in the Rye"

"Science" Run Amok...

"1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction allow a human being to be harmed.

2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such an order would conflict with The First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws..." -- Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics, "Runaround"

You All Suck (#51 -- Misanthropy for Dummies Edition...)

 "I don't suffer fools, and I like to see fools suffer..." - Florence King

No, I Don't Want To Cruise...

 "I live on a fucking island. Islands hold no fascination for me. I already have all the ocean I ever want to see outside my window. Stop calling me..." -- The Overlord

Great Moments in Dumbfuck -- Halftime Report...

 "Stupid people are asked for their opinions all the time, and quite frequently, their ideas are taken seriously. On a wide variety of topics, ranging from who should win American Idol, to who should run the country, to what we should do when confronted by a Chinese Superbug that has escaped and almost-exclusively started killing people who already had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. Take a good, objective look at the world you presently live in: Does it appear that asking stupid people what they think -- and then acting upon their opinions --  has worked out very well?" -- The Overlord

Nostalgia for "Big Iron"...

 "One is always at home in one's past..." - Vladimir Nabokov, "Speak, Memory"

Baseball Versus Jock Itch...

 "The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppance..." -- P.G. Wodehouse, "A Pelican at Blandings"

Machines DO NOT Think, You Idiot...

 "I believe that at the end of the century the use of words and general educated opinion will have altered so much that one will be able to speak of machines thinking without expecting to be contradicted..." -- Alan Turing. "Computing Machinery and Intelligence"

TDS Versus TBS...

 "The fact that the stupid person is often stubborn must not blind us to the fact that he is not independent. In conversation with him, one virtually feels that one is dealing not at all with him as a person, but with slogans, catchwords, and the like that have taken possession of him. He is under a spell, blinded, misused, and abused in his very being. Having thus become a mindless tool, the stupid person will also be capable of any evil and at the same time incapable of seeing that it is evil. This is where the danger of diabolical misuse lurks, for it is this that can once and for all destroy all human beings..." -- Dietrich Boehnhoffer, "Letters and Papers From Prison"

The Perils of Armchair Prognostication...

 "It's so easy to be wrong -- and to persist in being wrong -- when the costs of being wrong is paid by others..." -- Thomas Sowell