Thursday, May 25, 2017

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 5/27/2017): Chelsea Clinton

One must consider that God made a mistake in choosing Noah and his family to be spared the trial of flood, for from that mass of specific, inbred DNA Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton would eventually spring. You would think someone with "A Plan" and with vast powers over time, space, and matter would have foreseen this possibility, and selected another set of Jews.

Unless this WAS the plan, in which case, God is a fucking douchebag.

Your Overlord is not a religious man. Far from it. He considers religion to be a species of brain injury, just another human invention intended to keep Objective Reality at bay -- you know, like "trans-genderism" and "trans-racialism", feminism --  for the benefit of really weak-minded individuals for whom Real Life is just too frightening a prospect to face that they must retreat into fantasy.

However, if we consider The Book of Genesis in another context -- God's attempt at perfection by selective murder, exile or salvation -- it becomes clear that when it concerns the female of the species, even unlimited omniscience or omnipotence cannot solve all problems.

Genesis 1 tells us that God created Man and Woman simultaneously from the dust of the Earth. Then Genesis 3 tells us that God noticed Adam was lonely (good catch! You can obviously count to One, God!), put him to sleep and fashioned Eve from a rib (incidentally, this is how we know Adam and Eve were not black: have you ever tried to take a rib away from a black guy?), leading to the question "so, what happened to the chick created simultaneously?". Obviously, the first one was no good, so God had a second go.

The resulting creation led to Man's downfall, Original Sin, and exile from the Garden of Eden, because the simple instruction "Don't eat from that tree" was apparently too difficult a directive for something with a menstrual cycle to follow.

Then we come to the flood, and Noah's family, which means that God purposely selected those walking bags of estrogen to be, literally, the new mothers of a restored Human Race. This, too, doesn't seem to have worked out.

But, I digress...The point being that women, in general, seem to have always been a source of trouble or stupidity from the very beginning. I know: SOME women aren't that way. SOME women happen to be smart, and generous, and agreeable, and happy and all the rest, but it is my experience that they represent a minority. A very small minority.

And if we take it as axiomatic that when you start with poor base materials that the resulting construct reflects it, the proof, as they say, is in the tampon. The old programmer's adage "garbage in, garbage out" applies. Darwin's theories on selective breeding are disproved. One cannot begin with the proposition that Woman is either a divine creation or the product of a selective breeding program and describe the visible results as "good".

I could give you a better explanation for why we seem to be saddled with perhaps the worst female population in World History that doesn't rely upon Religion, but then I would have to use a lot of science words, and that sends the Females into a Frenzy of Ick, because they regard science with the same sense of revulsion that they usually reserve for cleaning a toilet, their natural profession.

(That was sarcasm).

However, today we're interested in one of the specific flaws to be vomited up by this convoluted theological convention, and it's name is Chelsea Clinton.

For if God truly exists (I reckon God is female, too: for only a woman could fuck up by the numbers this much and then still have the temerity to demand to be thanked, worshiped, feared, and financially supported for it), then God lives for no other reason than to torment Men with creatures created in it's Own Image.

That "Image" must be something akin to a constipated duck, because that's what I've always thought Chelsea Clinton looked like.

It has become painfully obvious in recent years that Clinton Inc. is determined to shove this frizzy-haired hellion down our throats in much the same way that Bill shoved something down Monica's. The result of a strange genetic experiment between two congenital liars, possessed of no sense of shame or propriety, a matched set of grasping tentacles detached from common decency, Clinton the Younger displays all the traits one would expect: she's a dumbass. She'll say anything to anyone, and usually what that specific person or audience wants to hear (or what the focus group tells her they want to hear), all of it missing the vital senses of honesty, integrity, logic, or intelligence, one expects a Public Figure not named Clinton to possess.

Someone, somewhere, believes that Chelsea Clinton has a future in American Politics, and has scripted a program by which Chelsea will arrive on the scene to pick up the fallen banner dropped by her mother (after it had been desecrated by her father, natch), and lead the Progressive Armies to victory in some great Apocalyptic Duel to the Death with the forces of Normal.

As far as banner bearers go, you could not pick a worse one, for a variety of reasons (which I will explain), and because it's just too damned obvious that someone is trying just a little too hard.

Since the last election, in which the Dowager Douchebag of Chappaqua was exiled to the woods outside her 10-bedroom, 14-bathroom, cardboard-and-corrugated-tin shack where she "relates" to the "struggles" of "everyday Americans", making excuses for defeat without ever coming close to the truth of the matter -- Hillary's a scumbag, and people noticed -- Chelsea has become more prominent in American Life, leading a Twitter revolution here, making paid speeches full of Progtard pablum that few want to hear there, publishing those "my philosophy" books written by ghostwriters that are full of both lies and bad ideas everywhere.

She's being "groomed" for "greater things", as they say. In this case, a "career" in politics.

Let's get a few things straight before moving on: if you intend to make politics "a career", then this is an indication that you have no talent. It means you have no ideas of your own. It is proof positive that you have no core beliefs of your own, and no work ethic. It means you have put yourself forth as an empty vessel, available for the mouth-breathers in society to fill as they see fit with whatever they hopes they aspire to, but never can be. You are an expedient, a means to an end.

And it never matters whether you actually deliver on those dreams and aspirations of the Great Unwashed, because hope springs eternal. Bill Clinton knew that, even going as far as to make a big deal of the name of his birthplace, Hope, Arkansas. What counts is that the dream should have a visible vehicle, not that it will ever be achieved.

Then again, Chelsea never had to achieve. She's been given everything by virtue of who her parents are.

Although, I will have to give her credit for this: she managed to survive nine months in the sub-zero conditions of Hillary's (alleged) womb before hatching, so I guess that's sort of an achievement.

Chelsea has now been nominated to become the visible vehicle. For Mother's dream of being President, for Father's dream of having more influence to peddle for foreign cash, for the feminist's dream of a Female Chief Executive (see how well that's worked out everywhere else it's been tried?), for the "downtrodden's" dream of sticking it to White Males, Chelsea will one day be your champion. The people who are "handling" her right now say it's true. Because you're a doofus, you'll believe it. And it is this belief that makes the possibility of a Chelsea Clinton candidacy -- for anything -- a reality, even if Chelsea herself is a mass of conflicting tweets, speeches, ghost-written books, and a child of the sort of privileges that most Leftards rail against on a daily basis.

Chelsea is being "launched" as if she were a new rap artist; a new brand of orange juice; a novel reinterpretation of the vacuum cleaner or Epsom salts, but she is little more than Same Old Shit, Brand New Package. After all, that "re-package yourself like Madonna every few years" routine worked so well for Mommy.

Marketing, after all, is what the world really wants. Bright, intelligent, hard-working, honest politicians who are interested in the public good are so old-fashioned.

I'm going to give you three examples of Chelsea's Words of Wisdom from the last year, or so. Read them at your leisure, and decide for yourself: are these the positions of a serious, well-intentioned individual determined to do good, or are they simply a recitation of liberal talking points and buzzwords intended for a specific audience that wants to hear them, and so be justified and secure in their stupidity by the fact that someone they "admire" uttered them?

In the first instance, we have Chelsea unfurling the feminist banner, and symbolically planting it by making the convoluted cases that if feminism has failed, it's because of Men. We Men, you see, weren't willing to work hard enough to help bitches screw us over.

In the second example, we have Chelsea making the boilerplate argument of default for all those who have difficulty with truth, which is to say that they have failed not because they're morons, but because they've victims of _____ ism. 

In the final stinking pile of Clintonian Word Vomit, we have Chelsea doing something Libtards often do, with the predictable result, which is to try to appease two constituencies simultaneously with a tortured (con)fusion of separate issues which is more like buffet of banality than it is good political policy or debate. Because child brides and climate change go hand-in-glove...all the really smart people with servants know this.

And you just KNOW that she never thought about any of this stuff; someone else just wrote her a speech, or gave her some talking points, and then she picked up the check. One day this fucktard thinks it might be President?

I think not.

Getting back to the opening statement, God fucked up. She fucked up when she couldn't get woman right, she fucked up when she selected the New Eves, and she fucked up when she injected women named Clinton into the bloodstream of History. The first Female Clinton was an unmitigated disaster; the second seems determined to pick up where the first left off, right down to the same wooden, contrived, be-everything-to-everyone-all-the-time mentality and personality.

If the Overlord were a religious man, he'd be praying right now for a second flood ahead of a Clinton Revival, and hoping that our next matriarchal progenitor to be selected for survival looks something like Kate Upton and has at least the same level of smarts one would expect to find in a Labrador Retriever, with no political aspirations, at all.

Enough damage has already been done to the American Body Politic by uppity, dumbass bitches with a sense of entitlement and no talent, we should be spared their progeny, too.

The turd does not fall far from the asshole.


Anonymous said...

This is great. :)


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