Thursday, May 25, 2017

Douchebag of the Week (Week Ending 5/27/2017): Chelsea Clinton

One must consider that God made a mistake in choosing Noah and his family to be spared the trial of flood, for from that mass of specific, inbred DNA Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton would eventually spring. You would think someone with "A Plan" and with vast powers over time, space, and matter would have foreseen this possibility, and selected another set of Jews.

Unless this WAS the plan, in which case, God is a fucking douchebag.

Friday, May 19, 2017

You All Suck #5 - Darwin, Two "-isms", and Survival

Have we finally reached the stage implied in Darwin's Theory which presupposes the end of Evolution within a species, marked by the unmistakable moment when continued adaptation becomes first, questionable, and then, manifestly impossible?

I'm beginning to think so. The consequences, however, are not so obvious. Perhaps there's one, last gasp of adaptation left in the Human Race, and the biological imperative to survive will kick back in, and allow us a single moment of utmost clarity within which it will become obvious as to what is required of us in order to continue as a species. The question is, will we have the brains and stomach to choose the self-evident solution?

Monday, May 15, 2017

A Majority of One (An Important Public Service Announcement)

Of all the Things in Creation, I say these three are the dumbest creatures to ever walk the Planet: Liberal Democrats, Irish Setters...and the American College Student.

The Overlord is displeased.

In fact, he is livid. Spitting mad. Red with Rage. Ready to chew vulcanized rubber. Why, if his powers over time, space, and matter were not -- as yet -- limited by the Laws of Physics, there would be an awful lot of dead people littering the landscape this day.

And most would be dead simply because they cannot muster the intellectual firepower to burn calories.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Douchebags of the Week (Week Ending 5/12/17): Two Late Night Comedians

There are two reasons why comedians usually don't enter politics. The first is that despite having a deep store of wit, they're typically not very smart. The second is that they're not very good at it (see: Al Franken).

This week we plumb the depths of television to single out two gentlemen who at one time commanded a grudging respect from your Overlord, but who have now shown themselves to be extraordinarily shallow people.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

You All Suck (Exhibit #4: Old People)

One of the most amazing hypocrisies of the Modern World is, that while some in our society dream of a mass return to Nature, there is a great reluctance, often, to let Nature take it's course.

Which leads me to believe that all this talk about "holistic" this, "Save the Planet" that, and the fetishization of all things "natural" and "organic" is just another means by which bullshitters attempt to hide the smell of their own bullshit.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Voices Inside My Head #4

If you care about the "cause" of Global Warming/Climate Change, or you are convinced of the Apocalyptic end of the Planet, then do the logical thing -- rid Planet Earth of your disgusting Carbon Footprint and kill yourself -- show your devotion to the cause, for only after you set the proper example will you have the moral authority to lecture me, Pal.