Tuesday, November 7, 2017

You All Suck (Exhibit #14 - Erection Day)

The Overlord has been ill, but having just defied doctor's orders and wolfed down a luncheon of three tacos with extra jalapenos, extra salsa verde, washed down with a Pepsi and two chain-smoked Marlboros, is ready to tell you uncomfortable truths about the disgusting species of animal known as "Mankind". Enjoy...

Let's begin with my day, so far.

Today is Election Day here in Sodom-on-the-Hudson, where the inmates of this five-boro insane asylum are being asked to select our next Mayor. Our choices are:

1. An unabashed communist who doesn't even use his real name (that would be current mayor Bill DeBlasio, aka Warren Willhelm, Junior), wields his black wife and multi-racial children like a chainsaw in a slasher flick, and who never met a bribe he wouldn't take in full view of about 100 witnesses.

2. A state assemblywoman (Nicole Maliotakis) who would make a great advertisement for any of those ridiculously lame "Diversity is our Strength!" posters (being of Greek and Cuban descent, and, nominally female), had she not chosen to live as a (lite) Republican in a city where democrats outnumber the GOP by a four-to-one margin. This makes her, in the eyes of the Modern left, something of a Benedict Arnold-meets-Hitler type figure.

3. An obviously mentally ill ex-cop (Bo Dietl), who, on a good day, still wouldn't be allowed to run with sharp objects unless medicated and placed under close supervision.

4. Some old guy (Sal Albanese), who seems amiable enough, but who represents the last vestiges of the politics of the last century, where the veneer of being civilized and not reflexively labeling every opponent as something like a cross between Ebola and a sulfuric acid enema was considered the least one could expect from an electioneering pol.

Obviously slim pickings. I voted for the broad if only because anything that at least has the faint aroma of "Republican" is far preferable to a guy who lies about his own name (and has lied about everything else for the last four years), someone who has a gun despite being thisclose to a straitjacket and rubber room, and a relic -- who may be a very nice relic, indeed -- who is apparently there just so it would look like the liar wasn't running unopposed within his own party.

Such is the state of electoral politics in the Empire State that the voters here are routinely forced to choose between the worst of the worst. When one looks at every elective office in New York state, from dumbass Governor Andrew Cuomo (really, someone should remove that badger obviously crammed into his rectum), to perhaps the WORST EVAH! Congressional delegation (starting with Chuck Schumer -- the Human Vibrator -- and Kirsten Gillibrand, who is a living proof that a woman's place is in the home, if not UNDER it), to a rogues's gallery of Representatives that tends to exactly reflect the average intelligence of the average voter.

Which is to say, we get a lot of nothing for nothing.

We ought to rename today Erection Day in New York, because we're obviously voting for a bag of dicks.

On a special note, regarding Election Day, despite the fact that there were multiple signs posted informing everyone that "No Electioneering" and ":No Loitering" were allowed outside the polling place, the usual collection of Galactically retarded pamphlet-pushers and hippies that congregate near the polls every time was present, although in smaller numbers than usual.

This year's Motley Crew included: some union douchebag urging people to vote "NO" on the question of a state Constitutional Convention (the recipient class is afraid the pensions they'll get for having a job a German shepherd could do in City Government are in danger), the usual collection of Moonbats out to save Mother Gaia or prevent Abortions, and for the first time I can ever recall, ANTIFA was there handing out printed toiler paper with Swastikas on it....I mean "political pamphlets.

What was surprising was the apparent AGE of these two specimens of fascists-pretending-to-be-anti-fascists. It would seem all the young Brownshirts don't bother to show up someplace where there's no TV cameras, and these two were vivid reminders of why fat, ugly, balding, not-even-vaguely-feminine women become lesbians.

Hint: It has to do with the fact that most men's clothes aren't form-fitting, therefore not providing the visual cue that announces to the world that you're a fat bag of shit who has to settle for munching on vagina because not even black guys will fuck you. But, I digress...

I engaged the two landwhales in conversation (because my meds are constipating, and I needed a laxative), and discovered just what the fuck is wrong with a sizable proportion of the American Public in our politically-confused times.

Oh, sure, they confirmed what I already knew: that neither was particularly bright, both had grievances with 'society' (mainly revolving around rejection and lack of heterosexual sex, I take it, being obese, bald, and possessed of foul breath tending to isolate one from the rest of humanity), none actually understands the differences between a Socialist and a Communist (hint: there are none!), nor did they understand that fascism is NOT an ideology, but rather a method of political action.

But then it all came out. It always does. Mostly because these people are emotional trainwrecks in need of therapy, and the chance to speak emboldens them to vomit up their inner angst -- even to a complete stranger -- because they're under both the mistaken impression that someone gives a fuck, and marginally-cognizant of the fact that no fuck has been given, desperately wish someone would.

Because...really...all...they need...is a hug.

And I say that only half-facetiously. They really DO need a hug, but first you're going to be subjected to their laundry list of what they consider "America's Crimes", which always seems to be no crimes at all, intensely personal (as if the entire country, for 229 years, has conspired to fuck them over, specifically), and always ends at the same place: I'm an outcast...PLEASE FUCKING LOVE MEEEEEE! because if you don't, I will get my revenge and make you suffah!

Anyway, you'll discover that they hate Donald trump (uh-huh), they hate the American Public for electing Donald Trump (uh-huh), they hate Hillary for losing to Donald Trump (*yawn*), they hate the American form of Government (right), they hate Paul Ryan, and Mitch McConnell, and Sarah Palin (Still? Really?), and all the religious nuts, and fag-bashers, and gun zealots, and Slave Owners, and Nazis on the Right, but can never explain....why.

Unless you want to hear about their feelz...again....and again....and again.

So, here's what I learned today about ANTIFA from two of it's self-described members, who apparently even the other ANTIFA won't associate with:

They hate everything about America except the stuff that benefits them. They are socially-awkward people who suffer from a form of cognitive dissonance in which they love Humanity...they just hate people. They probably can't get laid. They certainly don't understand anything about politics, except what their hippie professor (still recovering from Woodstock), and his assistant professors (who do the actual teaching and know even less) pre-digest and regurgitate for them. Most have probably suffered a variety of childhood traumas which have left them unable to function as adults in polite society, which causes them to attack the very society that gives them everything, provoking an even greater rejection, and the cycle never breaks.

Most probably smell like a cross between pot smoke, patchouli oil, and that disgusting paste of sweat, dead skin, and dirt that forms and ferments in the folds of a really fat chick's skin.

They are malcontents because they are determined to never be contented....at least until someone gives them the sympathy they crave like heroin, and even then, the sympathy is only a weapon to be used against the giver, anyway.

Naturally, this left me in dire need of Mexican food, the lining of my stomach be damned!

I had just been lectured on what an awful country I live in by two waddling masses of cellulite who aren't currently locked up for being openly subversive (What do you think this is? Russia?) , who haven't been tossed off a rooftop (deposited there previously by crane, naturally) for being gay, haven't had their genitalia mutilated as a quaint cultural practice (in fact, I'd go as far as to say their genitalia have NEVER been touched by Man before, assuming one could find that clam under all that blubber), who are damned fortunate some cowboy hasn't come along, roped 'em, hogtied 'em, and branded 'em before sending 'em back out to graze on the prairie.

Incidentally, neither was voting today. Voting, they tell me, never changes The System, only violence does.

At the moment I heard that, I found myself imagining the violence these two could do to an All-You-Can-Eat buffet. The carnage was epic!
That's about as close to "action" (political or otherwise) as these two were ever going to get. Mostly because by the time they manage to build up enough momentum to move that quaking mass of corpulence to shamble on up to "action", it up and runs away again. Posers.

Complaining about how it sucks to be you to complete strangers, handing out pamphlets between Hostess Cupcakes, eschewing the constitutional right to vote for change, never changed much of anything, either.



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